One Man's All-Star Ballot

First off, allow me to state that All-Star voting is ridiculous. The most popular teams get all their players in, good guys get screwed every year, and the mandatory representative from every team is problematic at best. Tying the result of this game to World Series home field is still the most asinine decision made by a sport in my lifetime. And the game itself has slipped noticeably in quality over the last decade.

Still, I love the MLB All-Star Game. I am always riveted by the rosters, the pregame announcements, and the managerial decisions within the game. It's one cool thing from my childhood that's still relatively pure. I try to vote every year, even if it means that I get thousand of junk marketing e-mails as a result of doing it online. Here are my selections:

AMERICAN LEAGUE

1B I'm taking Big Papi, and if you don't like it you can lick the sweat off the large man's large balls. I know he's not a first baseman, but he does fine there when asked. Alls I know is that a lineup with Ortiz in it is infinitely better than one with Morneau or Teixeira. Sorry.

2B Brian Roberts is a surprisingly clear-cut choice. Although Ian Kinsler has 14 jacks he's hitting .243. Placido Polanco has a .333 average but no power, and although Robinson Cano has straightened out his season he's nowhere near Roberts (.324-4-22-24 steals).

3B Alex Rodriguez is one of three no-doubt no-brainers on the ballot (along with Chase Utley and Russ Martin). So of course I went with Mike Lowell. I'll never be able to punch a ballot with this guy on it.

SS Carlos Guillen is killing it, and gets the nod over Orlando Cabrera and Jeter.

C I'm perfectly willing to sacrifice defense for hitting stats at most positions, but these teams need decent leather up the middle. So although Victor Martinez is far and away the best hitter at the position and Jorge Posada is raking at a .341 clip, I'm taking Kenji Johjima. He's quietly putting together a nice all-around season and is a big reason the Mariners are not putrid this year.

OF Normally I am of the opinion that Ichiro, Vlad Guerrero and Manny Ramirez are the default candidates for the AL outfield, unless either one of them is hurt/slumping or someone else is clearly deserving. Magglio Ordonez is definitely in the latter category, and he bumps Manny from the ballot. Although he's turned it around in '07, I think we need to finally accept the fact that Manny has reached the downside of his prime and is no longer the .330-40-140 monster we had come to expect.

NATIONAL LEAGUE

1B You have to reward the season that Prince Fielder and the Brewers are having. I'm sorry, Mr. Pujols. This doesn't mean you don't get into the Hall of Fame.

2B If you voted for anyone other than Chase Utley you have serious issues.

3B Miguel Cabrera keeps putting up huge stats and gets the nod over such badasses as David Wright and Aramis Ramirez. I love Wright and he can slot into more spots in a loaded lineup, but the NL needs Cabrera's power here.

SS Although Hanley Ramirez is awesome and the poor man's Jose Reyes, I opted for the actual Jose Reyes. Call me crazy. Jimmy Rollins will make the club too. Good group.

C Just like second base, there is no decision here. Russ Martin is the only acceptable choice.

OF Here is where the NL displays its inferiority the most. The junior varsity for the AL is better than the starting options of the Senior Circuit. Matt Holliday is having an MVP-caliber season and gets a spot. Soriano, while not yet playing up to his contract, deserves inclusion (and will be forced to play center, which is potential comedy gold). The third position, I'm sorry, goes to Barry Bonds. Barry gets my vote not because he's at home and not because he's about to pass Aaron (although both of those are good enough reasons for me) but because he's honestly the third-best outfield bat in his league. Just missing are Carlos Lee, Griffey and Eric Byrnes. And tell me how the NL can win this game subbing in those three, while the AL brings Manny, Sheffield and Sizemore off the bench. Good luck. Feel free to disparage my selections in the Comments.