Keeping Up With the Jonesers

Some NFL goodness brewing...but not anything to do with the above. I just dig the idea of Romo fighting a flame-maned demon horse.

Kinda like Broncos-Chiefs in the '97 playoffs. And we all know how that turned out for the flame-maned demon horse.

(Ed: We mean the Chiefs.)

So the Thinking Man's Team sign well-traveled largebody Sam Adams to a one-year deal (per the Lenster on ESPN.com). Adams, despite looking like nothing more than a fat guy in a striped helmet during last year's stint with the Bengals, might provide a valuable role player in the D-line rotation this year.

(Right here is where every other sports-related blog, publication or spoken sentence would make a crack about Denver not having enough available donuts, or about the civic necessity to re-make those fried peanut butter sandwiches that lured Elvis out for quickie trips. We stoop, but not that low.)

He was, as longtime followers of AFC West football will admit, a fucking beast as a young man. He played for Ol' No. 7's favorite college team when they were good, anchored some of the most talented and underachieving D-lines in NFL history in late '90s Seattle--at one point they lined up Adams, Cortez Kennedy, Michael Sinclair and Michael McCrary--and went on to the Hall Of Run-Stuffin' Fame with the Ravens, Bills, Raiders.

What can he offer the Broncos in the wake of being cut, and by his former Defensive Coordinator in Baltimore, no less? Who knows? Best case scenario: his enormous gut crushes a few running plays, he helps the overall quality of the (hopefully vastly improved) defensive line. Worst case: he has a heart attack during training camp, dies, his family bankrupts Pat Bowlen, our team gets sold to the Monforts and they hire Dom Capers to run the whole show.