Thursday, June 21, 2007

I'm Required To Write This

There's nothing I hate more than the mandatory writing assignment. I didn't like them in school, and I despise when I'm called upon to pen some bullshit paragraph for an ad or somebody's stupid obituary because I'm "the writer" in whatever group. Fuck that. I'll grant you that I'm really awesome, and that if I saw someone as good as me in any field I would insist that they exercise that magical skill all the time.




But Sammy Sosa hit a bomb last night, and he did some ridiculous song-and-dance routine to celebrate it, and I am now compelled to say something about it. Because it involves a massively important baseball milestone, and because I love the game of baseball, and because I care about the Hall Of Fame. At some level the Hall's selection process is just like the voting for the All-Star Game and MVP award, which to call circuslike is an insult to the hard working folks of Barnum and Bailey's. But the Hall is different. For one, it's easily the coolest museum you'll ever enter. If someone unworthy gets in, it gets under my skin. Is Sammy Sosa worthy?


An examination of his statistics quickly says absolutely yes. In addition to the firth-most HRs of all time, Sammy has amassed 2361 hits and 1449 runs scored. He has 1628 RBI, which is the 25th best total ever, and of the top 25 only Ken Griffey, Ted Williams, Jimmie Fixx, Lou Gehrig and Babe Ruth have fewer than Sammy's 8637 ABs. His HR totals from '93-'04: 33-25-36-40-36-66-63-50-64-49-40-35. He topped 20 doubles nine times. He has 234 steals and was twice a 30-30 man. From '98 to 2002, this is Sammy's average season: 157 games, 184 hits, 124 runs and a .306 average. Sure he averaged 58.4 homers too, but he was a reasonably balanced hitter who drove the ball to all fields.


My lasting image of Sammy will always be from a 2002 game at Coors Field when he could only run in straight lines. He was so bulked up that he could not turn his torso to chase batted balls and was virtually worthless in the outfield. His home run swing and routine of gestures to the crowd were intact, however, and it's hard to remember Sammy as a complete ballplayer. The stats don't lie, though--for a time Sammy was among the two or three most feared hitters in baseball, and that should be the biggest criteria for a Hall of Fame.


Yes, he was roided out of his skull. He somehow skated during the congressional testimony that sank Mark McGwire's Hall candidacy by forgetting that he spoke English (magically, he conducted an ass-kissing presser in English last night). Other than McGwire, he was the worst overall hitter among all of these 400+ HR hitters of the Steroid Era. He struck out too much and turned into a cartoon, but I still says Sammy' in. And now I need to go take a shower.


As for the other active or recently retired players over 400 HRs, here's my Hall assessment: Delgado (No), Piazza (Yes), Sheffield (Yes), A-Rod (Yes), ManRam (Yes), Thome (No), Thomas (Yes), McGriff (No), Griffey (Yes), Palmeiro (Yes, barely, and it has little to do with juice), McGwire (No, and it has nothing to do with juice), Barry (absolutely).

15 comments:

rustoleum said...

Too bad we can't vote on who gets in the hall. The steroid shit gets so overblown, and the fact of the matter is that baseball and all sports will never be able to rid itself of performance enhancing drugs. The chemists will always be ahead of the testers, so baseball writers might as well get used to it. At this point I've certainly become numb to the idea and just don't give a shit...as long as I can get a few of those guys on to my fantasy squads. Players will always be looking for that edge and someone will always be willing to provide it for a certain price.

Unknown said...

That total loser above me is right. Sammy is in. I know, SHOCKING response. But the numbers do absolutely bear it out. If you don't agree, go back and read them again, because you missed the boat first time 'round.

He is crammed into the steroid discussion purely on (probably accurate) speculation. Nothing has been proven. Until there's proof, you have to treat him like everyone else. If he doesn't get in, then who from 1986-2000 does?

This era will always be remembered for juice and that's fine. We still recall the "dead ball" era. You have to put the best players of each generation in despite the nature of the generation itself or you risk losing touch with the fans.

There are players in the Hall who played before blacks were allowed. There are pitchers in Cooperstown who doctored the baseball. And there are probably guys enshrined already who have taken a pill/cream/clear/needle before.

The point is, it's not like anybody's going to forget any of this. That's how baseball works. Sure, Sammy and Barry and Palmeroid will be HoFers on the same level superficially as the Mantle's, Mays', and Ruth's, but not ultimately. The asterik will be verbal. An anendum to every story told about the era and it's big-headed boppers. Just like the add on someone always slips in when recalling the 1970's Steel Curtain.

Sammy was great for a good many years and fun to watch. He carried the Cubs to the playoffs a couple times and nearly all the way. Regardless of how you thought they accomplished it, he and Big Mac did do a tremendous job performing much-needed CPR to a suffering league. I know we are all mad at him, but facts are facts and when time comes in 2013 or whenever (Sammy would tell you he can play 6-7 more years) and the dust has settled a little, I think there is no question he gets in.

P.S. - Write a story about the Rockies. Or better yet, the pizza place in Lakewood making good today on a promise to give away free pies all day if the Rocks swept the Yanks. Oh, I guess I just did.

old no. 7 said...

Jesus. Those were two extremely intelligent comments. Whom did you guys hire to write them?

Rockies story forthcoming, I'm just flummoxed by how good this team might actually be.

Cecil said...

20-7?

I mean...wow. Krieger might actually have been onto something when he brought up the Twins' similar travails in building a squad from the ground up. They sucked elephant nuts for a decade, didn't engage in wholesale front office change despite fan impatience and eventually brought up a crop of super youngsters.

Who knows how good they will be, but I know this: Troy Tulowitzki should be a 10-time Gold Glover by the time his career is over. He's only made 5 fucking errors this year. At short! As a youngster!

Unknown said...

Here, here on Tulo. That guy is a total bad ass. Defensively, I think he may already be the best the National League has at the position. His arm reminds a Cub fan of Shawon Dunston, his accuracy does not.

He has also produced with the bat more than expected of young middles. Star in the making fo sho.

They CAN win this division.

Unknown said...

Jesus, boyz, you've frickin' lost it. How can you all be so wrong?

Sosa is a sub-par defended at best. Fuck the Juice, that's Selig's issue. The corked bat, however, is just too blatant. He's a fuckin' cheater. Hell, Pete Rose gambled and he's not even eligible. Sosa outright cheated and got caught. Sorry man, that's not an acceptable part of the game ... let alone the Hall. When the fuck did y'all start thinkin' cheating was a GOOD thing?

If Sosa is in because of his "nubmers" (ALL offensive), then you've gotta open the door for utitlity infielders that hit around .240 with HOF caliber defensive stats. The Hall is meant for players that excel in all phases of their game.

Keep in mind, I don't think DHs should even be eligible. It's a stupid position and shouldn't even be a part of the damn game.

Refusing to lick Sosa's balls,

-- The Lone Reader

old no. 7 said...

And the string of intellegent commentary comes to a screeching halt. It was a good run though.

blairjjohnson said...

Screeching indeed. There're tire tracks across my monitor. My take on it also involves Pete Rose, but it always does. Rose isn't in because of principle(s). You have to draw a clear line.

You don't not elect one guy whose stats overwhelmingly qualify him and then elect another.

And, 7, save your used-to-be-pro-Rose-gets-in-not-so-much-anymore story. That's some other post on some other day.

Bottom line: if Sosa's in (and I think he should be), then Rose is in, too.

old no. 7 said...

I don't recall mentioning Pete Rose. But I have been sniffing markers all afternoon.

blairjjohnson said...

You didn't. Not here, anyway. It was a pre-emptive strike in case you chose to pull that soap box out, though.

Cecil said...

I think Rose should be in. Ty Cobb and Tris Speaker gambled openly on their own teams while they were playing. They're both in.

Cobb might have murdered a guy. He definitely stabbed one. He also selpt with a black orphan under his bunk for luck. That's just fucking strange.

Sosa, well...the numbers do not lie, friends. It hurts because I would like nothing more than to be against his enshrinement. Oh, and if we're talking about substances that should keep good hitters out of the Hall...cough cough George Brett cough pine tar.

Oh, and great defensive players who can't hit do get in, LR. Lessee...Bill Mazeroski, Ozzie Smith (who was never a great hitter, no matter what Cardinals fans say), Rabbit Maranville, hell--even my childhood hero Ryne Sandberg, who was a fine hitter but whose batting numbers didn't warrant inclusion by themselves.

blairjjohnson said...

Alright. I'm gonna throw a stupid out there. Sure. I do it frequently. Anyway. Someone please explain to me how pine tar would help hitting. Honestly, I'm sure I could look it up somewhere, but the only use I know of for it, is for a grip on the bat.

I really don't understand why that rule existed, why the incident became the memorable event that it did, why the league chose to re-finish the game, etc. etc.

Honestly. I really know nothing more about that substance than what I just wrote. Make fun if you must, but teach simultaneously.

rustoleum said...

Pine tar helps your hands grip the bat. To the lone reader, the hall has nothing to do with being an all-around good player. It's almost exclusively based upon offensive stats, because when you look at career stats defensive fielding percentages there won't be huge differences. For instance Sammy's career fielding percentage is .973. I 'm not sure who you consider a great defensive player, but let's look at Willie Mays who was widely considered to be a great 5 tool player, his lifetime career fielding % is .981. To most people that is negligent. How about George Brett, his was .970. That's worse than Sammy. It's all about the offense, and someone who hit .270 with 600 jacks and 1 one grounder to the pitcher with a corked bat, gets into the hall.

blairjjohnson said...

I know. I just said that.

rustoleum said...

Sorry, I don't really pay attention to anything you say.