Thursday Thimble: 1-08-09

What, you are probably asking, is the ridiculousness behind that headline? Well, it means time's of the essence, and we've uncovered a few tidbits worth sharing. Said tidbits, overturned, after the jump...

In what I'm dubbing the shockingest news (thus far) in the new calendar year, Old No. 7's favorite quarterback -- occasionally referred to as Old No. 4 -- is not going to get his 39-year-old hustle on with regard to his decision to continue dragging out his career.

Speaking of Old No. 7, crafty sage that he is, he once told me that having your team featured on HBO's "Hard Knocks" was a jinx to the club's upcoming season. Zoner Sports silently suggests that he's right.

And the news just keeps getting shockinger: Adam Jones allegedly involved in another night-club shooting, cut by the Dallas Cowboys.

The crew at Kissing Suzy Kolber frequently shocks with their words, humor, and PhotoShop contributions. I promise, if you click here, they'll really get you with the latter.

In updates more pertinent to this very House of Georges, Arrowhead Pride has two Patriots-related scoops of plump juicy raisins to offer: There are allegations that Clark Hunt has made an offer to Scott Pioli; they link to Mile High Report who suggests that New England Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniels is separating himself from the pack as the next possible leader of the Bronctinent.

That is all. Please return to your free online porn, more professional sports-blogging sites, and personal lives. Oh, and have a pleasant tomorrow.