Not Everything In Kansas City Is Horrible

Cheer up, Kansas City. Just because your baseball team is allegedly getting demoted to the JV and signing Satan (and Sosa!), and your football team has lost the greatest receiver ever, and your brand-new arena doesn't have a tenant, that doesn't mean we need to stick our collective heads in an oven. At least your newspaper is pretty good.

That's right, kids, that trashy tabloid The Star won a bunch of sportswriting awards. Even if the always excellent Posnanski and the sometimes poignant Fatlock got lumped in the same category with the consistently dreadful Bob Kravitz--thus devaluing the award like the American dollar against the Euro.

So just remember, when you wake up every day and read that your team lost, you're at least reading a superbly well-written slab of journalism. It's hard to put lipstick on a pig, but you've got some lipstick-wielding Picasso-like motherfuckers out there. Congrats. Now if only a majority of your citizenry could read...

/made you look