All Herman All The Time
While the Bloachog would have examined the black coach in minute and glorious detail, its true purpose would have been to chronicle the wisdom of Herman Edwards every single day. The man is like a father to me, a fountain of verbal kung fu that inspires me to better myself. I ask, actually demand that Bankmeister install Herman on our own little Mount Rushmore of icons on the right side of this page. And by the way, what ever happened to Bear Grylls?
Speaking of beefs I have with our site administrator, Banky did throw this post up over the weekend. Of course he did it while I was drunk and off duty, which is a pretty Jap move if you ask me. No disrespect to the Orientals.
While Bank did inform us that his Chiefs will select with the fifth pick in the upcoming draft, he withheld a key piece of comedic evidence from you the reader. Namely, the reaction of his head coach to the coin toss that gave KC the pick. Feel free to advance past the jump for the daily Hermanism...
After losing a coin toss and dropping to five, Herman tried to explain that five is better than three:“I didn’t want a chance to flip,” Edwards said. “I wanted to be five. That was a good number for us. Five is good. I just felt all along we were going to be five. I thought Atlanta would win the coin toss.”
Of course you did, Herman. Just for good measure, here's another Hermanism, courtesy of Arrowhead Addict, concerning KC's free agency wish list:"We might have champagne taste, but we’ve got beer money."
AA rightfully points out that the Chiefs are $20 million under the cap. That's a lot of beer.
We'll try and stay on top of the Herman beat, with no help from our correspondent in Kansas City.
Update: Since I was already mocking our Administrator and attempting to shame him into making site changes, I was about to coerce him into adding this link. Then I went to the site and looked at the counter. Jesus. When I first checked that place out it was around 1.4 million hits. That was two weeks ago. Last week it was at 2.2, today it's 3.4. White people really, really like that place. So check it out, but make sure you do so with the understanding that it's now way too popular and it's no longer edgy or cool.
24 comments:
After flippin' through the various comment sections on that site, I have discovered one thing white people don't like: satire.
Altho' I must say, 7, that you clearly need a break from the Andrew Sullivan blog--that *is* where you found this, right?
He may support Obama, but he's still a fucktard. It's like my brother-in-law going easy on Ron Paul because he's anti-war. The enemy of our enemy ain't always our friend.
Now, now, now. I'm no defender of Herm, but there're some nuts and bolts being left out here. The scenario(s) went down like this:
Atlanta and Oakland flip. If Oakland wins, the Chiefs and the Falcons flip for fourth.
Atlanta, however, won, giving them the third pick, Oakland the fourth pick (based on tiebreakers), and the Chiefs the fifth.
Herm was asked about the flips that didn't happen, as in, what were his theoretical thoughts about them. He said he wasn't interested in having the other flip; he had a hunch the Falcons would win it, and everything would play out just the way it did. Loosely translated, they imagined they'd wind up in the five hole and are content having done so.
Nice try, though.
Either way, what's been with the Kangol?
And...his theoretical thoughts? How can he not want the extra flip if it moves him up two slots? That could be the difference between Jake Long and...
SHANE LONGEST
I don't remember if the first time I saw the White People blog was on Sullivan or in a chat Will Leitch did on the Washington Post's site.
Dude, I am completely hooked on Sullivan's blog. And it does not matter to me that we don't see eye to eye on policy. He's lucid and thorough and funny and he hates Hillary, pretty much all the blog prerequisites in my book. And yes, he's flamingly gay. But gayness, like hardcore libertarianism, is something I can look past in the search for the truth.
And Ron Paul is, frankly, awesome. I can't abide by the wacky gold-standard stuff, and disbanding the Department of Education, for instance. But Paul is pretty cool in my book.
Prepare, Cecil, for Orange County Brian to come after you like a wounded badger...
Ron Paul is also anti-choice. And a Pat Buchanan-style isolationist. And crazy. And his supporters do things like this http://www.ronpaulblimp.com/
and this
http://www.gambling911.com/Ron-Paul-Presidential-Odds-080907.htm.
And then, of course, there's this, which I somehow doubt Sully linked to:
http://www.tnr.com/politics/story.html?id=e2f15397-a3c7-4720-ac15-4532a7da84ca
And Jesus, is OCB even reading this blog anymore? The only people making comments are the three of us...
That third link, by the way, is pure gold, if violent racism and revisionist history can be gold.
As much I think re-naming New York "rapetown" might have been a good idea...
Don't forget this one: http://blogs.tnr.com/tnr/blogs/the_plank/archive/2008/02/25/is-this-libertarianism.aspx
I fucking told him, DO NOT USE THAT PHOTO. I was young and didn't own any shirts.
A different brother-in-law sent me a video of Paul supporters (properly known as "paultards," but I'm already in enough trouble with OCB) singin' a version of "The 12 Days of Christmas" with the lyrics changed to "Ron Paul gave to me...." and then things like, our original constitution, no more IRS, etc.
It was actually kind of sweet. As well as being fucking terrifying.
Even tho' it's just the few of us talking politics, we have not had this many comments since the baseball playoffs. We need to add Ron Paul to every post from here on out.
Fun Ron Paul story: A few weeks back, and just before Super Tuesday, a bunch of us went out. Several bars in we stumbled into Carvers and found a spot--it was very packed. Apparently Catfish used the word "fag" in casual conversation, which didn't go over well with the gay people we were sitting next to. There were lots of accusations of homophobia and Catfish was eventually asked to leave the bar. On his way out, he asks this apparent lesbian (I thought it was a dude, but I also don't know how I got home that night) "You're still voting for Obama though right?" She/he replied that he/she was on board with Ron Paul. So there you go.
Um, I have no idea what Kangol is. I do, however, know that you should read the rest of the story regarding the coin flip. Or just my above comment.
And, using "fag" in casual conversation is pretty middle school, yet pretty awesome at the same time. I also like to persuade lesbians on their voting tendencies as I'm escorted from establishments. That sounds like an incredible evening.
Finally, more on politics later...
Seriously, asked to leave? Jesus, that Catfish. Did he tie anyone to a fencepost afterwards?
Carver's. Good lord. I don't remember the last time I was there. And it's because I was wasted, I'm guessing.
Oh, and look--Al Sharpton posted a blog about stuffwhitepeoplelike:
http://www.newsgroper.com/al-sharpton/2008/02/26/submissions-stuffwhitepeoplelikecom/
Gosh what's 'amatter with Ron Paul?
His policy stances are so clear and different from the Bushco. crooks except those Bushco crooks are realists. Realists in the way that they would love to abolish the IRS, Gold Standard..etc., but their grimy little paws would be out a revenue stream. The difference is, the Rethuglicans just spit this nonsense out in election years and we clever and educated Americans gobble it up. (At least 49-51% of us do, apparently. The rest sleeps in.)
Oh Yeah! Paul has also spent the last twenty years culling his political capital from American Nazis all across the western states. Might be something a couple of Denver newspapermen may look into...perhaps?
In the hopes of avoiding a complete in-party brou-ha-ha, please allow me to inject some more of my unsolicited opinion. Andrew Sullivan is merely a product of a recent American "innovations." These are Clinton-hate and the Internets. One will go away, hopefully. and we will stop doing the bidding of righteous citizens brought to us by the 1990's Republican party. The other will stay and continue to feed us naked pictures, HOG and help us map out our journey to the best Gentlemen's club. Also, Sullivan is a complete pinhead. He loves war-then hates war, loves Bush-then hates..and so on. He is consistent with his Clintonophobia, though. He also has a very large audience.
I hope the Chiefs pick that big boy from Michigan with their ingenious and obviously planned...fifth pick.
DKC
I also hope they pick that big boy from Michigan. Rowr!
--Sincerely,
Andrew Sullivan
I also have a very large "audience."
Sincerely,
Me
(P.S. I haven't a clue what this is supposed to mean.)
Well, if ever there was a more disturbing sequence of links, I can't recall it. Especially that Al Sharpton one. Way to be a leader, Al.
I hope everyone's aware that Sharpton deal is fake. This would normally go without saying, but Banky tends to believe that stuff. See also: Obama's a Muslim sleeper-cell Manchurian candidate.
Listen, man. My mama told me that everything on the WorldWideWebbage was true. Plus, everyone knows that Sharpton's a cracka' haytah. Racist prick.
It does help that the (humor) site which had the Sharpton thing boasts the prominent sentence "these blogs are not real."
Well, it's real enough for me. I'll never vote for Al Sharpton again. Nosiree.
Post a Comment