Sunday, Bloody Sunday

So, the ol' Pro Bowl kicks off in just a couple of hours, and boy, what a snoozefest it is guaranteed to be.

While there's no mistaking the misery that was the 2007 campaign for both Broncos and Chiefs fans, there is a small glimmer of glee in the mirky memories of this season. First, there was Jared Allen, who all but dominated the category of defensive end play this year. And, he was selected to his first Pro Bowl, on a 14-game season I might add.

That's pretty impressive. Oh, and since we took such an in-depth look at HBO's/NFL Films' "Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Kansas City Chiefs" last summer, I've got to take this opportunity to mention two things:

1) (Editor's Note: This one stings. Bad.) Ol' Number 7 (Note: He may as well switch to the moniker of Dead Number 7, since no one's really sure if he's still alive) was right when he stated that the two previous teams to be featured on "Hard Knocks" proceeded to have miserable seasons afterwards; he prognosticated the same might be true for the '07 Chiefs, and, well, guh...

2) Having seen Jared Allen play some Guitar Hero on "Hard Knocks" and having now played the game myself a time or two, I'm pretty confident I would kick his ass at it. What would also kick ass is that I would be drinking beers not called O'Doul's while doing so.

Anyhoo, click the link below to catch more Pro Bowl tidbits.

Before moving on, let's get the sponsorship of this afternoon's contest out of the way. This year's Pro Bowl is in fact brought to you by the letters 'T,' 'G,' and by the number '9'. Mmm-hmm. That's right. Nine. As in "neun," "neuf," "nueve," or in English, one more than eight. Your letters stand for Tony and Gonzalez, who, by the by, is making his ninth consecutive Pro Bowl appearance. And that, for the record is one more than a certain non-eloquent, non-anunciative ESPN sportscaster that may or may not have played for the Broncos. I'm pretty sure we're running out of categories in which Gonzalez passes Sharpe, cementing the reality of his superiority as the greatest tight end of all time.

Ah, but wait. My predictable colleagues will say that Mr. Sharpe's lead in the "Super Bowl Ring" category tilts the competition. Pay no attention to that orange-tainted haze steaming from their snouts.

Nevertheless, being named to Pro Bowls is what's important. The actual contest is nothing more than a goofy, good-ol'-boy fest.

Thus, we'll run through some things that are more interesting than devoting three hours on the couch to watching this match:

1)This book, if you can get your hands on it, is a hell of a read. I highly recommend it.




















2)Sleeping, ever an HoG-favorite pastime, gets the nod over watching the Pro Bowl.
















3)Knockin' out the ol' laundry's always productive. Hey -- if you're lucky, you might able to apply some of the knowledge learned in suggestion 1 and/or tackle suggestion 2.


















4)Getting drunk's always a bona-fide substitute for watching football while getting drunk. Just cut out the boring football!















5)Or hey, it's been a long week. You could use a soak in the jacuzzi? Don't have one? I'm sure the neighbors won't mind sharing theirs. Hop in!




















I suppose, if worse came to worst, and you had absolutely nothing else to do, you could watch the damn game. Just don't enjoy it, eh?