Thursday, February 28, 2008

Municipal Bonds Stadium

It's a pet peeve of mine when people whine about the economic disparity in baseball as an excuse as to why one particular team sucks. Is the system fair? Of course not. Do teams like the Yankees, Dodgers, Cubs and yes, Red Sox have big advantages when it comes to constructing a roster? Absolutely. But low-revenue teams can still compete if they're smart, resourceful and take a few chances.

This is why the Kansas City Royals should sign Barry Bonds.

This post will get two responses in the Comments. One will be that folks are unaware Kansas City still had pro sports teams. That's very funny. The other will be Royals fans howling that they'd never want an asshole bum cheater like Bonds on their team. That's very dumb.

Look at the Mitchell Report, and you'll see a litany of current and former Royals: Juan Gonzalez, Jason Grimsley, Gregg Zaun, Paul Byrd, and your shiny new free agent acquisition Jose Guillen. Your team has been as dirty as any other in the Steroid Era (and well before, actually), so what's the harm of adding a bat that can help the club and sell a few tickets?

Barry needs to play in the AL, so we're not forced to watch him gimp around left field anymore. It's best that he go to a noncontender, as his presence would create a huge circus on a team that was actually covered by the press. And the fact is that he can still play--if he can stay healthy (again, here's where the DH thing is big) he's a lock for 35 jacks and an OPS over 1.

Best of all, Kansas City, Barry's pariah status is what actually makes him attainable. If he weren't such a prick and under indictment, he'd already have a job. But that lack of a job market allows you to sign him for a very reasonable deal, far south of $10 million. Peanuts. He'll get his 3000th hit in your uniform and give Joe Posnanski about ten years worth of material. Win-win.

Now the only team I've heard even remotely connected to interest in Barry is Tampa, for all of the same reasons. On the radio the other day, Orestes Destrade dropped KC into that discussion. It makes a ton of sense, which is precisely why it will surely never happen.

3 comments:

blairjjohnson said...

Dude -- this is the dumbest post I've ever read. I'd never want an asshole bum cheater like Barry Bonds on my baseball team.

Signed,
Howling/largely overweight/redneck bumpkin with a mullet/guy that closes down the 6 a.m. bars every night Royals fan, Dexter St. Jock

Unknown said...

Yeah. Dumb. Ass. Post.

What's with this meme: "Does K.C. even have a pro team?"
You know these teams. You know them well.
Under the the shadow of the large Red and Yellow Arrow, K.C. professional sports owned you.
It showed you sweet, shirtless and homosexual love... all for a shot of Crown.
It showed you titties and then some more, in case you missed Raytown's finest ta-tas.
It then called you a traitorous "mother-fucker." As you disparaged our country's patriots.
These all occured at the semi-pro, imaginary sports franchises of K.C.

Really.

Also, when you're done Googling goofy pine-tar incidents; Google-Aikens, Blue, Wilson and Cocaine.
That should land you around 1982.
You know, right about when the Baltimore Colts were conteplating their first draft pick.
Real big-league teams have drug scandals, mules and still-incarcerated first basemen.

Pine-tar.
Whatever.
DKC

Unknown said...

They should totally sign Bonds, too.
Only on a strict, incentive-laden "cash-for-homers" contract.