Poring the Draft V. 4

So the Combine is a few days old, agate-worthy headlines about coaching changes and free agency movement are getting front page treatment and I spent most of today listening to Jamie Dukes. I had a hangover too. Never let anyone say this isn't fucking work.

What did I learn, besides the needs-recalled-every-few-months-or-so lesson about combining gin, whiskey, wine, cognac and bottles of Pabst? What great news is getting ready to summit the horizons of Broncos and/or Chefs fans? Why does Herm Edwards insist on rocking the Kangol? Is he really Kool Moe Dee? I wondered where that guy went. Anyway, less is more after the jump....



*As I mentioned previously, nearly every mock draft out there has Jake Long going to the Chefs at #5. While this would be a boon for the barbecue-stained masses on the plains, it would be bad news for anyone who liked seeing Brodie Croyle protected by that horrible thing they trotted out there last year, i.e. me. So it makes me smile to imagine Long being grabbed by, say, Atlanta at #3, or even the Dolphins (assuming they don't trade down) with Pick Numerical Unero. Then they would have a clear path to draft, say, another kicker.

Sure, that probably won't happen. But as the Irish Oscar winner who got to come back onstage after being cut off early by the music--and when has that ever happened before?--said: keep dreaming or don't give up or something.

*Those same mocks are nearly as unanimous in suggesting that the Broncos will take either Ryan Clady (offensive tackle from Boise State) or Chris Williams (offensive tackle from Vanderbilt). I'd like to hear what Cutler, after that vicious beating he supposedly took behind the, uhm, Vandy offensive line, thinks about the prospect of his current team drafting one of the guys who might have shortened his life by three years.

Clady, I'm a little more high on. He's massive, he's a known commodity and he pass-blocked a fucking ton up there in Idaho. He evidently hurt himself doing the bench press today, though, so that ain't good. In theory, I wholly endorse him as a selection.

Problem is, it's not going to happen. Elite left tackle types don't last until pick #12. There's no way they trade up with as many needs as they have, so it's sit tight and scrap off whatever's left...or trade down, which I'll explore more thoroughly in upcoming days.

*In the course of these online peregrinations, maybe my favorite draft site is the Great Blue North Draft Report, a wacky pile of run-on sentences made by some Canadian named Colin Lindsay. It's frequently updated, it's huge, it's free--and they even cover the CFL. Golden.

Also: Javon Walker must pack his VitaminWater and his bloodstained sweatshirt and hie himself southwards, preferably for a 3d and a 5th rounder (assuming the Bucs, the team everyone has mentioned has interest, even have those picks--I'm lazy tonight, so go fuck yourself, Nancy Drew). And most definitely *not* in exchange for anyone old and largely worthless like Shaun motherscratchin' Rogers.

It's a thing with Shanahan: every time some underachieving douche has a good game against us, he's automatically a potential trade target. I can't believe this noise I'm hearing about the possibility of us picking up that portable Cinnabon franchise. Just thinking about it is bringin' up last night's whiskey...mixed with Fatburger. Oog. Be right back...