This Week in Blogstralia: An Interview with Kristi Colvin

Every so often I'll sit down with an interesting Internet personality and discuss what goes on in their neck of the Web woods. This week's guest is Kristi Colvin.

bankmeister: We “met” in strange way, which is to say that we’ve technically never met, but I knew that you were a fascinating person right out of the gate. My buddy brought me to a SportingKC game, and at the conclusion of the national anthem, I saw you hunker down over your iPad and get to work on Twitter. This intrigued me for two reasons: (1) I was taking notes in a pocket-sized memo pad for the sake of a blog post on the game, and (2) believe it or not, not that many people I know are on Twitter. At first I thought you were simply going to check in via Foursquare or something like that, but when I saw you pull up Twitter, I was surprised. Before we get into that, though, tell me a little bit about yourself.

You’ve since tweeted me something about the term “nut nut” possibly being a Texas thing. Do you hail from the Lone Star State? Give me all the deets: born and raised there? High school? College? And how’d you wind up in Kansas City?

Kristi Colvin: I was technically born in Oklahoma, but adopted immediately so transported to Texas two days later, where I have always lived prior to moving to Kansas. I was raised in Wichita Falls where my Mother still lives, but spent most of my adult life in Houston and Dallas. I did go a couple of years of college there but did not graduate -– at the time nothing seemed to work as an actual degree for me (I’d never heard of a commercial art degree.) I am primarily self-taught and have learned on the job, my entire career.

bankmeister: Once my post from that game was published, you had a humorous reaction to it and said something to the effect of your husband threatening to give you a yellow card for excessive tweeting during games. By this I of course deduced that you are married, which leads me to ask if you have kids, and if you do, what are their ages and what sort of parameters do you have on them – and if you don’t, kindly pretend that you do – for using technological apparati? More specifically, how young is an appropriate age for kids to have cell phones, and should kids be limited on the amount of daily time they spend on varying devices?

Kristi Colvin: My husband attempts to give me Yellow and Red Cards during every game, but I ignore him and keep tweeting anyway. I don’t think he understands that for me, part of my enjoyment of the game is the sharing of it with my online friends. He has a Twitter account but never tweets, so you sort of have to be immersed in this lifestyle to truly understand what I mean.

I don’t have children though I desperately want them. I suffered miscarriages in previous marriages, and when I moved to Kansas to marry Tim the plan was that we would have children (neither of us do) but my previous employer ended up changing his mind about me working remotely, and I was plunged into being unemployed and living in a rural area where I knew no one but my new husband’s family within two weeks of moving here. So the loss of income and building my self-employed business took priority. Now it just doesn’t seem it will ever happen.

I do think that parents need to set boundaries around technology use, but not discourage it. I also think monitoring their usage and communications is critical as they grow – I had always planned to have family Macs in public view, not in a child’s room, and cell phones should probably not be something parents rush into before a child can handle one responsibly. Social-media channels shouldn’t be rushed into either -– there’s something to be said for growing up, as I did, without my every move being documented online somewhere.

bankmeister: Walk me through your linear career, starting with your first job, and maybe touching on some of your stops along the way to present day.

Kristi Colvin: My first job was in retail, at a boutique called Marianne’s in the mall in Wichita Falls. It was there that I learned I liked doing visual merchandising, so I did that at JC Penney’s and eventually Dillard’s. From there I got into waiting tables and doing catering for On the Border, and eventually got tired of the late nights and went to work at Whole Foods Market while taking some college courses. I passed up an opportunity to go into a training program to be a visual merchandising director at JC Penney –- I loved that work, but knew if I got into the program I would never leave retail. It was a good decision.

In college and at WFM I learned to use a Mac Classic, and it was really there that my design career began. We would make newsletters (to mail, not e-mail) and store signage of all types on the computer and color it in with markers and pens to make it cute. We didn’t even have a full-color printer. The newsletters were professionally printed so I learned to deal with printers. Eventually I offered my services as a print designer, and when I got pregnant (and ultimately miscarried) I taught myself Web design. I wanted to produce a parenting site called Babyville. When I lost the baby I went another direction and created a vegetarian community called Good Karma Café, which I wish I had not taken offline.

I ran it like a monthly magazine but this was prior to blogging, so it wasn’t nearly as easy. All of my time was spent writing, designing, adding site features, creating recipes and redesigning the homepage in HyperText Markup Language like a magazine each month. It was too laborious to keep going, though at one time on some lists it was the number two vegetarian site. The focus was distinct from most -– it encouraged meatless eating rather than condemning non-vegetarians, which is why it got so much attention from reviewers. From there I moved into the creative services space, offering print and Web design. One of my first clients was a software developer, so I learned to do user-interface design and user experience.

All of the jobs and projects have contributed to what I do today: print design, digital design, software design, promotional design, understanding customer service, merchandising of products, selling goods, advertising, and communicating via social channels.

bankmeister: Let’s talk Fresh ID. You’re officed downtown. Has that always been the case, or did y’all grow out of somebody’s basement? How long has it been around? Where did the idea come from, and how has the ratio of enjoyment/hard work fluctuated, if at all, since getting the project off the ground?

Kristi Colvin: Fresh ID has been the name of my company since 2002 when the company I worked for was acquired. It was called Fresh Pages in the ‘90s. I have been primarily self-employed since 1993, but twice I put my business on hold and went to work for software companies as a user experience manager -- 2000-2002 at Pentasafe, 2006-2007 for SigmaFlow -- where I worked when I met my current husband Tim and ultimately left to come to Kansas. I usually worked from home but have had offices at various times as well, so in a way we have grown out of a second bedroom.

When I moved here I met Lisa Qualls and Tom Jenkins, who are now my two business partners and we worked on freelance projects together as a team. I asked Lisa to join me and take the helm as CEO in 2009 and we restructured Fresh ID from a Texas DBA to a Missouri-based LLC and brought Tom on as Chief Technology Officer in June, 2011. Though some might find it odd I asked Lisa to be Chief Executive Officer instead of taking that position myself; since I founded the company and ran it for years, to me it made perfect sense. I am the Chief Creative, and what I do is create design and marketing and products that we can sell. I couldn’t maximize my creative potential and do the selling and business administration and focus well enough on finances to grow before bringing her on board. With Lisa here as CEO, we have grown exponentially –- she’d have to tell you the exact percentages though, as I don’t have to focus on that anymore. Her contribution has been significant though, and with Tom filling the deep-technology-experience role we needed, we are poised for even more growth over the next couple of years.

The work we do is what I have always done for clients, though it has shifted a little bit. We do a ton of custom WordPress design and development, and for years I mostly did Web sites, not content-management-systems-based sites. We also do a lot of marketing work for monthly retainer clients, much of which involves multiple social media channels.

bankmeister: Help me understand the premise behind the company. I mean, the intelligent design portion of the Web site is pretty self-explanatory, but how did you develop the clientele portrayed in the portfolio? More specifically, do you have to outreach a significant portion of your customers or do they come to you? Has that changed since Fresh ID was born?

Kristi Colvin: I have always provided services for business-to-business clients, with a few retail clients but not as many business-to-consumer companies as I initially desired. We don’t do any marketing (that will change in 2012) and so word-of-mouth has resulted in one B2B client sending their friends and connections to talk to us, and that keeps us pretty busy. I have never done much marketing –- virtually all my clients have come from some type of referral, plus a few people who found us using organic searches online. These days, the referrals come via social-media connections, or someone seeing us say something on a social channel that makes them realize we could meet a need. Or they are sent from in-person connections we have. We’re about 50/50 on in-person vs. online referrals.

With the active use of social media, we ended up meeting the sports teams in our portfolio, and they have fulfilled a lot of my desires for B2C interaction with direct customers of a client. Plus we really enjoy working with them. We have also increased our work with retail goods and restaurants, so the hotel industry is the only missing group I’d really like to work with that we haven’t yet serviced.

bankmeister: It seems that most of your clients either offer a product or a service they’ve not been able to maximize in terms of reach and availability. Is it safe to assume that that’s where your team comes in? Again, the outlined services seem obvious: You get brand-name-recognition projects going, improve Web sites, spruce up blogs, and sort of implement the use of digital and social media for companies that either aren’t using them or aren’t using them well enough. Is that fair?

Kristi Colvin: We do this for a lot of clients, yes, and also help startups with brand identity and awareness from the beginning. Since I went into business in 1993 I’ve done a lot of redesigns or brand upgrades -– I guess that goes with a designer’s territory. The bulk of our social-media retainer clients are companies who have some level of success offline but need to figure out how to communicate with random strangers online, and how to mix social channels into their existing traditional marketing.

bankmeister: Have you found that portions of your customer population don’t engage in the services Fresh ID offers because they don’t have the time, don’t know how, or some combination of both? What if you’re networking with a potential client and they’re apprehensive? Are there means of proving the sort of method to the madness? What are some of the most unique and some of the most typical clients that hire Fresh ID? Have any trying-to-market-themselves writers ever approached the company?

Kristi Colvin: Some of our clients listen to us regarding social engagement more than others -– it does take time, it is an extra step to get used to in a day…we know all about it as we have the same issues at times with our own marketing. It is also sometimes easier to market others than yourself –- I find it’s easier for me to post things about client offers and activities under my Kris Colvin account than it is for me to make FreshID look interesting using that account. Of course, it’s no mystery our clients have the same problems. We do have a method to getting started and ramping up and best practices we’ve defined for ourselves that we employ, but ongoing engagement really rests with the clients. Some take off and shine; others sort of drag their feet. We have had some authors we have helped with branding and social assets, and personal branding for them is something we do just like the corporate branding for any organization with whom we work.

bankmeister: What about your personal blog? It looks like a Tumblr page, and has the “join Tumblr” icon in the corner, but it doesn’t say it in the URL. I feel like this is sometimes the case with Blogger, too, as in people have sites that look identical to a blogspot.com page, but the word “blogspot” doesn’t appear in their Web address. Can you help me understand this?

Kristi Colvin: With Tumblr, Blogspot and I think even Typepad, you can use a unique domain name so that people can go directly to your site in a little more professional way (I think) then when you use a subdomain, like all Tumblrs start out with.

bankmeister: How much time do you spend updating your blog each week? At first glance it looks like maybe an hour or less per week, but digging deeper, you’ve got some stuff that required some time. Do you have any goals or parameters for your blog, or is it simply for pleasure?

Kristi Colvin: My personal blog goes through periods of lots of posts, and periods of total inactivity. I would like to blog more but don’t…it’s far easier to tweet and Facebook my finds and thoughts. Our business blog requires more of my attention than I give it. All the older posts are from my Design for Users blog, where I used to help educate people about various user experience ideas and issues, and I need to get back to that. We have won clients from blog posts so that is another form of marketing of which we need to take advantage. I live in two places (the country with Tim and my dog-child Baxter on weekends, and downtown during the week) and often while driving I am writing a blog post in my head that never makes it to paper or online. I’ve got to get better about taking the time to write them as it helps our business, I know for a fact.

bankmeister: What about Twitter itself. We’ve already mentioned the joke-threat from your husband, and that this medium is what led you and I to right now, but help me try and put something into perspective: Do you remember what month and year you signed up for Twitter? As of this moment, you have tweeted 77,208 times, which is unreal. I ask for your rough start date, because it’d be interesting to know how many tweets you average per day.

Kristi Colvin: I created my account on March 26, 2008. I didn’t understand what Twitter really was though, and was offended when random men followed me. I honestly can’t remember how I found out about Twitter, given I knew so little about how it worked. I read a wonderful article at problogger.com by Darren Rowse in July of that year, who could see people couldn’t figure out Twitter and he suggested that we all type our account names into this blog post, and follow each other, the reason being that at the very least we had blogging in common and could discuss it on Twitter. It changed my life. The list was up to 568 at the time, and I vowed to follow 100 people at least. To this day, I recommend to clients that they search using keywords, and follow a minimum of 100 people before writing Twitter off as uninteresting.

My average TPD (tweets per day) are downright scary. According to Tweetstats.com I average 62 per day and 1734 per month. The person I have tweeted the most is the brand builder. I am only consoled by the knowledge that some people tweet even more than I do, and that it probably takes less than 1 total hour to create all those tweets, as they’re so short. Now reading them, on the other hand…we won’t talk about how long that takes. Twitter is my preferred channel –- I could live without every other SM platform, but not it. My Twitter friends are my confidantes when I need to talk, my lifeline when I feel depressed or am struggling, my companions when I am bored, my mates when I am cheering for my team, my advisors when I need help, my amusement at unexpected times. I love them, and I mean that sincerely.

bankmeister: Without knowing one way or the other, that seems like the kind of number that would suggest that there’s always a device within arm’s reach. Is that even close to accurate? Have you found that such activity has any kind of effect on any relationships, be they real-time or cyber? Anyone (besides your husband) ever tell you to put that thing away? I ask because one of my three sisters is pretty darn attached to her Blackberry, and there are times where I’m like, No, it’s cool. I’ll wait.

Kristi Colvin: Umm. No comment.

Seriously, it is hard for me to be completely away from a device, though I do it at times. I love my iPhone sooooooo much. It is the device that Steve Jobs made for me years ago, but due to rural Kansas issues and only AT&T at first, I could not have it until recently. I adore my iPad too. I truly feel everyone should have an iPad. I wrote the first chapter of my upcoming ebook, called Social Media by Design, on my iPad on the way home from Texas. No wires, no internet needed, no bulky laptop to deal with, and I did so very easily in my Pages word processor. That is a technological power that I find very compelling, and that could change everything if you could combine the promised power of Google Fiber (everywhere) with easy-to-comprehend technology that people of all ages can use at any time.

Plus, I can tweet with ease no matter where I am (iPhone is online even if iPad is not.) That makes my life complete. Tim gets mildly aggravated sometimes, but I do try to be respectful at family events and dinner (mostly.) My team is used to it –- often all 5 of us are on our phones at the table though, so they can’t say much about me. Of course, it is sometimes because I’ve reminded people to check in on Foursquare. One time recently we went to a 5-course dinner for a prospect that is now our client (bluestem) and Lisa said, “Don’t have your phone out” before we went in, so I dutifully put it in my purse and didn’t take it out. She later complained I hadn’t taken any pictures of the meal.

bankmeister: Forgive me if the answer to this lies within your press-appearance page, but how do you follow 28,000-plus people? I only follow a little over 100 and that packs my timeline pretty full. Somebody once asked me how I manage to keep up with 1000-plus Facebook friends, and though I think I just shrugged in the moment, the answer inside my head was “fast scrolling.” Is that sort of what happens with you?

Kristi Colvin: I also do a lot of skimming on my timeline. But on busy days I just deal with mentions and direct messages. Often on a weekend, when the TV is on and I am relaxing, I finally get to go through my timeline and look at the interesting things people are posting and that’s usually when you’ll see quite a few retweets from the freshid account. We follow far fewer people on that account and it is easier to notice good content, but you could achieve the same goal with using Twitter lists. I make Lists and then don’t use them though. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t follow enough people. My goal is to somehow follow a million someday. All these people make me smarter on a daily basis so I want more education, links, ideas, feedback, and good humor from the millions upon millions of awesome people that can be found all over the world.

bankmeister: Finally, SportingKC.

When did you become a fan of the team and how long have you had season tickets? Do you feel like your enthusiasm for the team has consistently elevated or have there been plateaus? Tell me about your mega-fandom of CJ Sapong? Have many folks picked up on your lil’ rookie hashtag and begun using it themselves?

Kristi Colvin: I am a brand new soccer fan, this year. At the end of last year, Lisa and I met Kyle Rogers and James Flexman from the team, who found us via social channels and because of our proprietary Intefy product, which does real-time media aggregation and is good for live online events. That story is detailed in an article about Lisa & I here.

They became a client at the beginning of 2011, and so when soccer season began I watched the first game on TV, not really even knowing if I’d be able to maintain interest in the game or not even though I was interested in the team’s staff and really liked all the people I met at the downtown office.

My enthusiasm for the team has grown to the stereotypical fever pitch. Soccer games run my life -– we haven’t seen a movie at the theater in months and won’t until the playoffs end. At this point I am a huge fan of the team and I almost see the work we do for the client itself as a separate activity. But even if we didn’t do work for them I can’t imagine not loving the team or not attending every game possible. We are season-ticket holders not because they gave us tickets but because I literally begged Lisa to death to purchase them. Our seats are in the Shield Club, which was not cheap; we paid $5500 for our four tickets and shared them all season. Given our many current expenses, we haven’t renewed the Fresh ID season tickets yet, but my husband is getting us two Shield Club seats for 2012 as he has become a fanatic as well. I am lucky that he is, as we may get to go to L.A. for the MLS Cup if SKC makes it that far. I begged for that also, but never expected to really go. I think he wants to and knows that this may be a unique opportunity as you never know when a team will make it that far again.

Regarding Sapong, and his youth and my age, I think a lot of people thought I was some kind of cougar-lady who found him cute when I first began talking to him and about him. That’s not how I see him (or any of the guys on the team.) I really don’t know how to properly depict how I feel about him. He’s not quite the son I never had, or like a brother…he’s just a person I adore and admire. He caught my attention with his record-breaking debut goal the first game, and it was several games before I saw what he looked like up close on TV, or even heard him speak. We had bonded over Twitter and at the time his avatar didn’t show his face well, and I was so excited the first time I saw him in a locker-room interview, that I yelled for Tim to come in and see him. He is just unique. Talented, quirky, funny, humble, cocky, goofy, surprising…all the things that make someone want to have someone around as a friend.

What a lot of people may not realize is that he and Eric Kronberg were the first two players I ever met. They came into the Members Club during the week we were living there before it opened, working on the membership software and getting quick-response codes on seats. Everyone on the software team was exhausted. Sapong walked in, and I recognized him immediately and I lit up. It was totally thrilling to meet him, the shot in the arm we all needed to keep going and get everything launched on time. He delights me -– I will be so proud for him, and so happy if he wins Rookie of the Year. I may even weep. And of course tweet about it.

People have not used the #lilrookie hashtag unless it’s in reference to me. I love it when they use it though, and asked CJ directly if he minded it. He said “no.” Lil Rookie #17 will be on my jersey at all the playoff games I get to go to, including the big one. I want to remember his rookie year forever and I’m sure he will as well.

bankmeister: When the season started, it seemed like the streak this club was on would eventually fall off, but ultimately they wound up the one seed in the eastern conference. Tell me about your experience on this wild ride of a campaign. What kinds of things are folks doing in anticipation of the big game tomorrow?

Kristi Colvin: I have never really followed a sports team quite like this. I am used to Tim’s ups and downs with the Chiefs, and felt it somewhat, but knowing the players, owners, and staff behind the team makes it so much more personal and fulfilling for me. I haven’t known what to make of their season –- I look at everything with newborn eyes and barely know the detailed rules of this game. I’m not a fair-weather fan…if I love someone or thing or group I am very loyal, so losing games doesn’t bother me that much; I expect it. They have surpassed any expectations I may have had, though. I recently re-watched our first game at LIVESTRONG Sporting Park and this team has grown by leaps and bounds since that contest. I feel blessed to have witnessed it all. They inspire me…but I am hoping they will also motivate me to get off my rump and be more physical, more active, and get in better shape again. Work gets really busy and health and wellness get de-prioritized. Watching them always reminds me it’s important.

bankmeister: What about the growth of the fan base? I came across an interview with a club higher-up this week, and while the bit was entertaining and informative, even the interviewee has gone from a tongue-in-cheek announcing of the new team/venue name to a supposed seriousness with the success they’ve had this year. Do you find that fans are mostly embracing bandwagoners or is there some divisiveness within the circle(s)?

Kristi Colvin: I can’t really speak to this. I think we have a lot of long-time Wizards fans that are possibly still mourning the loss of that identity, maybe because they never really had the full package of a soccer-specific stadium and all this attention. And then we have people who’ve been curious about the team given the new stadium and attention, who aren’t raving fanatics but interested enough to check it out, nonetheless. Then there are a group of people, like myself, who are new to the team/brand and even soccer as an interest that are now complete Sporting Kansas City addicts. I will be very curious to see how many seats sell next year. That will tell us if there are new converts for real or if the novelty of the hot new thing has worn off. I hope it sells out again and the momentum continues.

bankmeister: It appears that the organization has done a lot of things right. Anything obvious that they’ve overlooked or upon which they could improve? How do you think the enthusiasm of this fan base compares with other MLS markets across the country? Assuming you’ll be at the game, will your in-game tweet tendencies stay the same, or does the iPad get put away for the post-season matchups?

Kristi Colvin: I can’t see changing my tweeting habits. Though the team doesn’t pay me for it, my in-game tweets are partially an obligation of sorts. Some folks are used to them and like them. My non-technical observations give them another perspective on the game and some people seem to like that.

I think SKC are in a sweet spot of having done many of the right things this year with the stadium finally completed. There is still much work to be done, but my complaints are few. I have seen many observations from outsiders regarding their digital presence online. I know of teams (of all types) who have expressed interest in the in-stadium technology Cisco helped build, the Sporting Membership software we helped design and develop, the mobile apps Moblico has helped them develop and all of that tells me their new venture, Sporting Innovations, is hitting the right mix of what’s new/what’s needed. If I were a team anywhere in the world, I’d study what they’re doing. That they have such an apparent interest in providing a community of real members and not just a venue to visit once or twice a week is one of the things that sets them apart, and that will continue to serve them when they experiment as members will give feedback. It’s a living eco-system and I’m personally glad to be part of it.

bankmeister: Awesome. Well, thank you so much for the time. Good luck with all of your business and personal endeavors, enjoy the playoffs, and God speed as you attempt to follow (Dr. Evil voice) one million followers.
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An Evening at the Sprint Center: NHL Exhibition: Los Angeles Kings vs. Pittsburgh Penguins

Enough with the gripes and complaints, already, people. The National Hockey League is not coming to Kansas City anytime soon, and that has nothing to do with Tim Leiweke or AEG. Really, it doesn't.

I tweeted Randy Covitz earlier, and in doing so, I was mistaken. Apparently, last night's NHL exhibition contest featuring the Los Angeles Kings and Pittsburgh Penguins was a record crowd for Kansas City hockey. By 494 people. I sent that tweet, because I swear that announced attendance at that Blues/Blackhawks game was 18,000+, but I've been wrong before, and I'll certainly be wrong again.

What I'm not wrong about is that the dose of professional hockey Kansas City is currently getting -- in the form of the Central Hockey League's Missouri Mavericks, just down the road in Independence -- is all the metro area will be getting for years to come.

Eleven years ago, Paul McGannon formed the grassroots NHL 21, whose primary initiative was to bring an NHL club to Kansas City. At that time, it was a brilliant plan, and the organization continues to work hard to, as they say, "cultivate Kansas City for the NHL." But, at that time, the league landscape was much different.

The Dallas Stars had just won their first Stanley Cup, seven years after moving from Minnesota. The Colorado Avalanche, a mere five years relocated from Quebec, would win their second championship a season later. The following season, it was the one-time Hartford Whalers coming in as runner up, followed by the not-that-young-of-a-franchise Anaheim competing in the Finals, the expansion Tampa Bay Lightning winning it all, and then of course, the lockout.

In each of the previous four seasons, clubs with long-time tenures in their initial cities have been in the finals on both winning and losing ends. Thus, the days of significant franchise shifts are likely behind us. Sure, the Atlanta Thrashers just moved to Winnipeg, but Winnipeg had an interested buyer, and Atlanta -- a city mind you, that already failed once in its NHL endeavors -- was not supporting the club.

So, it's easy to get riled up about Leiweke's quotes, and even easier to point the finger at the Sprint Center's "failures" regarding event management. These, my friends, are not even small bones. They're microscopic.

A few people were caught outside while the game began? Big deal. The venue fixes that first with an anchor tenant. Long lines at concession stands? Didn't we hear those now-stifled gripes after Kauffman Stadium was remodeled?

What matters is what the people in and around Kansas City think about the sport (and thought about the contest) in a global sense. And for the most part, people are far from centered enough to comprehend the two-tiered concept that would make an NHL franchise successful in Kansas City for the second time: single-game and season tickets.

With the September the Kansas City Royals have produced, and with the start to the season the Kansas City Chiefs have not, folks on Twitter and on the radio are rolling out the old this-is-a-baseball-town carpet for the first time in a while. That's fine. It very well may be. Folks continue to purchase mildly significant numbers of season tickets, and, by and large, single-game tickets are something that many, many Kansas City families have always invested in and will continue to do so because this is a game on which our country was raised.

In the '90s, Kansas City was mad-scientist crazy for the Chiefs. The team was good, and fans had not had that experience in over two decades, if ever. Throughout most of the Herman Edwards regime, attendance at Arrowhead fell to talks-of-blacked-out-games for the first time since the '80s. And that's an American sport with a franchise with over four decades rooted in Kansas City. What, then, would make anyone think that, in the event the NHL grants Kansas City a franchise (Editor's Note: They're not going to, plain and simple.), this town would support it?

I'm embedded in the Kansas City hockey community. I know guys that run the youth programs, I know rink managers, I volunteer for the Mavericks, and I've played with the majority of adult rec-league skaters for over a decade. Even in that community, even in the form of a company owner who was a significant sponsor for last night's game, are people that think Kansas City has to continue to turn out large numbers, if not sell them out, for these exhibition contests because that translates to league awareness.

In the end, they don't matter. Not one bit. Mostly they don't matter because the league is not going to award the city a franchise, or even promote it as a locale for a club that's interested in relocation. There's simply not enough confidence to suggest that the city could support it.

So attendance last night broke the record by 500 heads. How many of those people were given free tickets? How many of those people were bombarded by package deals presented by NHL 21 and companies like QuikTrip who had the $99 four-pack (tickets, sandwiches, etc.)? How many people had die-hard NHL-in-KC fans buy tickets and take their friends free of charge in hopes of hooking them on the in-game experience?

The answer: a lot.

What's more, of the families in attendance, most of them, by both sight and sound, were cheering for the Penguins. These kids had signs and cheers and no, you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting a Sidney Crosby jersey. How many of these fans were aware (of the slim chance) that Crosby might not play again? How many of these kids are aware that team owner Mario Lemieux used this very venue as leverage for his own new building in Pittsburgh? And how many kids are aware of the surprise run that the Kings just displayed this past post-season? That club was the bigger (of the two) story in the playoffs.

The answer: not many.

Regarding the Crosby thing, it's of course good for the game that in Kansas City people know who he is, but what they don't know is that the clubs they saw on the ice last night were two and three tiers removed from those that the Pittsburgh and L.A. franchises will put out on the ice each night this season. For Dennis Dodd to call that a "thoroughly entertaining preseason game" is silly.

That game was mostly flat, full of turnovers, and bereft of true NHL talent. What's more is that there was zero appeal or investment to actually root for a team you come out and support 41 times a year. And the fans in attendance were representative of said lack of appeal.

They were there for novelty. They chatted with their kids and their friends, fiddled around with their phones, asked questions about the game to those around them, and blindly cheered on the Penguins. Since when do Kansas Citians cheer for eastern-conference teams?

While folks remain enamored with the new Kansas City-hockey-attendance record, the one truth that's been written is that many seats were empty. Folks were strolling around, perhaps waiting in lines for concessions -- an easy fix if a franchise actually did come to town -- perhaps trying to entertain their uninterested children, and leaving early in packs of significant numbers.

Last night and this morning, people were posting things of the following nature on Facebook: this pointless story, this dumb picture

I call dumb only because I'm sure thousands cheered the Pittsburgh victory, and my favorite photo caption of all, "Don't have a clue what I'm watching, but it's fun!!!"

As for ourselves, we left at the conclusion of the second period solely because of our nine-month-old in tow (Note: Yes, that'd be her pictured above the jump.), and the fact that it was over an hour past her bedtime. We went, though, because we wanted to see how good the Sprint Center ice-hockey experience looked. For the record, it looked great. The ice appeared to be in good shape, the event had plenty of intermission entertainment, and all the perks of a pro-sports event. They were each a touch rough around the edges, but like the entry lines and the concessions, easy fixes. In sum, though, The Sprint Center didn't blow it.

What's not an easy fix is the current state of possible NHL franchise relocation, let alone expansion. By and large, clubs are staying put, and none will soon call Kansas City home.

You may, if you choose, continue to direct your negative energy toward Leiweke and AEG, or you could look at the positive: Kansas City did not build a tax-payer-funded venue that sits empty and aging, and its downtown revitalization has not been a failure, both of which were distinct possibilities voters feared five and six years ago.

If you're going to crease your forehead over hockey in Kansas City, however, your energy is better spent being compassionate with the unchangeable facts about the National Hockey League, and even more so, recognizing that Kansas City might be a baseball town. It might be a football town. Heck, for all we know, it's a soccer town. One thing is for sure, though, and that's that a hockey town it is not.

If it wants to become one, there's a ton of growth that needs to happen first, and it's the kind of growth that has zero to do with chances and promises.
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An Evening at LIVESTRONG Sporting Park: The Philadelphia Union vs. Sporting Club Kansas City

Last year, my buddy Vintage Pancho went out of his way to take me to a Kansas City Wizards game. He’s a season-ticket holder, a business proprietor, and trying to select a game that fit both of our schedules was the epitome of hit and miss. We made the October 9 contest against the Seattle Sounders work, and unfortunately the Wizards dropped the match 2-1.

I remember leaving Community America Ballpark a touch unimpressed, but in hindsight that feeling was two-fold: 1) I’d been to Kansas City T-Bones (then the Northern League; now the American Association) baseball games and, while I appreciated the antics at my first visit to C.A.B., I could never really bring myself to enjoy the experience or the baseball, or really even the park, because it simply wasn’t Royals baseball at Kauffman Stadium. Therefore, when I went there to see soccer -– a sport for which I’d developed a personal platform based mostly on boredom -– I sort of left feeling like I’d watched a lame matched crammed into a second-rate venue. 2) That said, it certainly did not detract me from rooting for the Wizards, and when they lost, I thought it unfortunate.

It’s plausible that these sentiments were rooted in two other categories: 1) My penchant for hating on the soccers made me almost want the experience to have a negative twist, and 2) this was one of those make-or-break games for the Wizards, wherein they get the points for the win, or see their post-season chances vanish, a theme all-too-common with sports in Kansas City.

Finally, another angle: I knew that the Wizards had ended their residence at Arrowhead Stadium, though I wasn’t certain why. I also knew that there was talk of building a new facility in south Johnson County, and that ultimately, Kansas City, KS was selected. What I didn’t understand was why there was significant interest in either, why there was this fascination with professional soccer in the Kansas City metro, when, for my money, the surrounding cities could never a) agree on taxes for a refurbished Truman Sports Complex vs. building a downtown stadium for the Royals, b) obtain another major sports franchise –- NHL or NBA –- for its touted Sprint Center, or c) realistically and perennially sell enough season tickets to support such a team while continuing to support the Chiefs and Royals.

Nevertheless, construction was underway at the time for the facility in which the Sporting Club Kansas City now calls home, LIVESTRONG Sporting Park.

In the spring, when the venue neared completion, and the franchise announced that they would become known as SportingKC, I found it peculiar. I then found myself surprised when they unveiled the name of the venue and felt somewhat surrounded by all of the buzz surrounding it. The season got underway, and the team played ridiculously well, or so the newspaper and radio kept saying by way of hyping an unbeaten streak.

Around midsummer, Pancho came to me and said, “We’ve got to get you out to a game.” Because of the aforementioned buzz, I was eager to attend one, but because he and I had both seen our first-born children come into the world since that game against Seattle, it made for an even trickier scheduling pinpoint. As I imagine most parents would agree, your calendars fill up mighty fast once little ones are in the picture.

But we settled on last night’s contest -- and, hey: free bobblehead! -- versus the Philadelphia Union, and I was not surprised by the traffic or the number of tailgaters outside of LIVESTRONG. Finally seeing the building’s exterior up close, I was amazed at how immaculate it looked, and the same would be said about the interior. From outdoors, Pancho pointed out the Members Club and the section in which the rowdy crowd sits, and I couldn’t’ve been more surprised at the amount of merch’ that had been slung this season. Jackets, hats, jerseys; you name it, they were wearing it.

On the other side of the walls, an abundance of cuisine choices zig-zagged across the middle of the room, and we settled on some hearty brisket sandwiches with Buffalo Mac ‘n Cheese for our sides. At our seats, which were nothing shy of rock star, we listened to Ashleigh, a cancer survivor, belt out “America the Beautiful” while some mid-song pyrotechnics nearly caused me to jump out of my pants. “The Star-Spangled Banner” followed, as did more heart-stopping fireworks. Strangely, a sequence of them were ignited mid-song, which made a line or two inaudible, and it made me curious if such a choice offended the same people who get peeved at Arrowhead for the local-fan version of the song’s ending.

Some in-game notes:

7:30 p.m. Game on. SportingKC with more ball control and scoring chances early.

7:35 p.m. Philly with a chance, offsides not called.

Both teams pulling, tugging a ton; young fans calling for resident Mexican star Omar Bravo to get the ball.

7:49 p.m. Serious collision at midfield; free kick awarded to SportingKC.

The “rowdy crowd,” or KC Cauldron (courtesy of Zachary Cobb) as they’re apparently called, is raging behind the Philadelphia net, chanting, “We want playoffs!” By my count, two handballs have gone uncalled.

(Editor’s Note: Why I didn’t start off with clock time, I don’t know, but appropriately changed.)

18:30: Philly with another chance; SportingKC with some solid D.

(photo courtesy of Pancho's iPhone)

23:00: SportingKC continues to have chances.

27:30: Our first dual-team-header injury; neither guy down too long, which is a good thing to see. I get geared up for Team USA during the World Cup, and this past tournament, there was no shortage of dramatic flopping and rolling, which simply looks bad for the game, in my opinion.

Shortly after, Kei Kamara is involved in a collision. The fans want a call, both coaches argue with the ref, and time ticks away, making me think the running clock/stoppage time format leaves something to be desired.

Random thought: One thing about soccer: that’s a lotta damn running.

33:23: Philly with a chance; Sporting D’s it up nicely again. It’s funny –- and the same is true in hockey -– when the opposition has a break, fans holler for offsides, but you hear zip out of them when the home team appears guilty.

Another collision with Kamara, and from my vantage point, it’s his fault, as he leaned in with raised arms against a defender as he pressed along the sideline. No call either way. He’s down for a while, and moments later, he’s up and fine.

39:00: Nice slide tackle/steal by SportingKC on the far side followed by a good scoring chance. It results in a corner kick, with Kamara delivering an amazing header that deflects off the crossbar.

(Note: I noticed, at the conclusion of the national anthem, that the young lady in front of me sat, and immediately opened up her iPad. From there, she launched into a Twitter marathon like none I have ever seen. I began to lean over and peer, hoping to catch her handle, so as to tweet her in some self-invented comedic fashion. She’s moving so fast, though, that I can’t make much out. When I think I’ve got it -– I_am_McBeth -- I fire out my tweet, and she doesn’t even blink. McBeth, however, is quick to respond, and I see the woman go to my page and, in a flash, follow me, before returning to her timeline. At this point, I’ve gathered that the McBeth person is actually tweeting so much, that the timeline of the woman in front of me -- who turned out to be Kristi Colvin -- is simply full of McBeth tweets -- which are *all/every-one-of-'em* -- good and embarrassment arises.)

Random back-to-the-action note: Something impressive about these guys is the curving trajectory they get on crossing passes, especially when they take them in full stride, steaming down the line.

Stoppage time: Sporting continues to dominate the attack zone, but we hit the midway point knotted at nil.

Philly begins the second half asserting themselves.

54:00: Sporting with their first resemblance at a chance.

55:19: Bravo hammers one home. One-nothing, SportingKC.

58:49: Philly’s closest opportunity of the evening.

59:49: An SKC player goes down, and there it is, the proverbial in-pain roll, and whether it was a surprise or not, I’m still undecided, but a delayed yellow card is handed out against the Union.

62:18: Philly nets an equalizer almost immediately after C.J. Sapong comes in on substitution.

63:12: Free kick for Philly in close and the keeper makes a nice save off of a redirected header.

Again worth noting: So. Much. Running. At least in hockey, you can occasionally coast if you have to.

Here’s Kamara now griping about a non-call. He abandoned the play at the moment of alleged offense, and I feel like I’ve seen him check out on a few developments when one particular or another doesn’t seem to go as planned. Not sure about his attitude.

67:54: Sporting with a good chance, but in hockey terms, there was nobody there to crash the net for a rebound opportunity. They did, however, on the ensuing attack, put together some nice give-and-go attempts.

80:13: Kamara with a golden opportunity blown.

82:05: For the most part, the ref has kept the calls to a minimum, allowing for the teams to play. At this point in the match, he’s starting to ruin things with incessant whistles, most of which are against the home team.

86:56: Half-ass chance for SportingKC. The teams are awarded three minutes of stoppage. Philly appears to be stalling, and the contest ends in a draw.

As we file out, I’m decidedly impressed with the facility, the atmosphere, and most everything associated with the franchise. I’m still baffled by the size and energy of the crowd, as there weren’t too many empty seats, and the noise level seldom decreased. My sentiment is that all of the buzz was warranted, and although I’m now 0-1-1 in Kansas City soccer games attended, I was able to leave my biases aside, and develop a natural appreciation for the game.

I have to take my hat off to ownership and management for their delivery of a fine product in an electric environment, and I admit:

I hope I’m invited back sooner rather than later.
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This Week in Blogstralia: The Employee Lounge

Every now and again I find a URL in my browser that leads to some great work being done in the blogosphere. The Employee Lounge is this week's great-work example.

Linh Trieu, speaking on behalf of herself and blog partner Tina Magee-Jenks, was kind enough to spend some of her time with the House of Georges in an effort to educate us on what it is that goes on in the Lounge. Our conversation, after the jump.

bankmeister: Let me start by saying that, in a sense, The Employee Lounge is a perfect example of my worst nightmare. But wait, I mean that in a good way. That is, your blog(s) embody most everything I’d like mine to, but it does not. You’ve got good design, unique artwork, consistent posting, and a great concept. As someone who’s logged many a chef hour in Kansas City kitchens, I love the idea of the Lounge. It’s fresh, fun, and always, I imagine, going to give you new material. So on the surface, the idea of interviewing hospitality employees and posting those conversations with original photography is big-time facepalm material in my mind. As in, it’s one of those why-didn’t-I-think-of-that sort of moments. Regardless, kudos to you both for giving birth to the concept.

Employee Lounge: To respond to that, even though there was no question posed, I've had a personal blog for a few years and it was none of those things, consistent, original or conceptually focused. I was all over the place, but it was good practice and of course, a great learning experience. Reading other blogs is also really important. Seeing how other people do things is just as important as what their content is.

bankmeister: Indeed. And this seems like a good opportunity to get the questions rolling, so walk me through the process of how the Lounge got off the ground. Actually, back up a step. The bit the Pitch blog did on the Lounge says that Linh used to work with Tina’s husband. Sketch out the networking framework of how Linh and her husband’s idea transformed into Linh and Tina’s project. Did it happen overnight, or was it one of those things that was casually discussed before finally saying, No, really -– let’s do this thing.

Employee Lounge: Our collaboration happened pretty quickly. The Employee Lounge was just a name I came up with for a pie-in-the-sky restaurant concept, but it was one that was always about community. It was just going to be a place you could escape to during your work day. I took a lot of the things that George and I talked about and applied it to the blog, like the Employee of the Month. Now, that's our most popular post on the blog every month. But pipe dreams don't pay the bills so I got my first corporate job where I met Chris Magee-Jenks. We were cube buddies, font nerds and avid blog readers. Almost every day, we'd be messaging each other about cool stuff we'd see on the computer.

That's one of the things I really loved about working in an office, the friendship and sharing of ideas and inspiration. One day, Chris came to me for advice about how to promote his wife's photography business. The conversation ended up with me pitching the blog concept and asking if she'd be willing to work with me. She was about to get back into nannying, I had just quit my job and here we are. The timing was right; Tina and I are both in the similar stages of our careers so we work really well together.

bankmeister: Walk me through the events leading up to your first post back in March. Did it feel, heading into the initial assembly of it, like it was a lot of work, and now it comes easier, or was it a breeze from day one?

Employee Lounge: I am not a planner and Tina likes working that way too. We spent one day setting up the framework on the blog, knowing that we wanted to keep things simple. Then, we went to people we knew in the service industry and started posting fast and furious. It's important to have content so we posted as many people as we could. After that we slowed down to one post a day, which caused our numbers to go down. We realized that we had to diversify the content to keep things interesting. Now, we collaborate with other bloggers and brainstorm design-related projects. We want to keep using our other skills in design and illustration. In some ways, it's always been a lot of work. Mostly, it's super fun and it keeps us motivated, so we enjoy all of it, the ups and the downs.

bankmeister: Early in the archives there’s a lot of Tannin and Hotel Rieger action going on, and in the Pitch piece, you talk about choosing a venue first, seeing who’s available second. You also, in that article, say that “the only thing it costs” you is your “time.” Is that a possibility because of the way you quote/unquote choose your subjects? Have you encountered any resistance from establishment staffs in the form of, Oh you should really come back after lunch, or tomorrow when so-and-so’s working, or have your receptions been 100 percent positive?

Employee Lounge: I have friends at both The Rieger and Tannin so they were a big help for the first days of our blog. If you can't go to your friends first, who can you go to? You don't have to explain the shit out of things to them, they just say, Cool, I'll help you. Honestly, there will continue to be Rieger and Tannin posts in the future because I hang out there a lot.

Now that we do "restaurant snapshots," it costs us a bit of money too. We never, ever ask for anything free (well, we did ask some restaurants to donate gift certificates to our EOM, but it wasn't for us). Everyone is running a business and we understand that. We try to be respectful and remain professional (to the best of our ability, (sometimes I have too much to drink)). We have definitely been turned away. People are naturally suspicious when you come in their doors with a big camera. Or they think we're trying to sell them something. But it's no biggie, there are tons of people we can talk to. We have learned that it doesn't hurt to send an e-mail in advance sometimes, but mostly we work without a schedule.

bankmeister: Describe for me, if you will, the process of assembling a post.

Employee Lounge: Tina and I Google chat all day long. It starts like this: Where are we going today? What time? Once we have a rough idea, I pick her up and we get started. I interview, she shoots. We use Blogger and can access it at the same time. She processes and posts the pictures, I write the bio and link to everything related. Then I post links on Twitter and Facebook.

bankmeister: Regarding the photography, I noticed a pattern in the posts. There seems to be a fairly conservative beginning picture that captures the subject’s upper body, and then there are a couple more shots that take, if you will, some creative liberties. For example, the photographer seems to like hands and feet, or having something like a cell phone on a table be the foreground, and the subject more in the background for those secondary shots. Is this a fair assessment?

Employee Lounge: We discussed how we wanted to shoot our subjects only in the beginning, inspired by a photographer who created triptychs made up of three different subjects to create a full-length standing portrait. Portraiture is not just about the face. It's also in the way they stand or sit, or make a certain gesture. Focusing in on those details tells a deeper story.

bankmeister: And how about tattoos? They seem to always get some lens attention if the subject’s sporting some ink.

Employee Lounge: Even though neither of us have tattoos, we appreciate the art form. Since we both come from art backgrounds, we try to include all kinds of art as much as possible, whether it's tattoos, restaurant graphics, fashion or food.

bankmeister: What about the writing end of things? I’ve seen some posts that get the token paragraph, then other subjects get three chunky ones. And there’re one or two folks who barely had four lines scratched out about them. Is there a mold or an outline for each post, or does some form of time, availability, and the subject dictate what the post will look like?

Employee Lounge: I only write what they say. Some people are more talkative than others. Some days I'm a better interviewer. Other days, I can barely remember what the next question is. A lot of things affect the outcome, like how well I know them, but I don't stress about the length of each post. I think people who visit our blogs are there to look at the photos more than they do for my writing.

bankmeister: The blog’s subtitle is something I’d like to discuss. Have you found it tricky to get a post a day published? More specifically, are the two of you working full time and working on the blog in your spare time? Have you made any efforts to monetize it, and if not, will you in the future?

Employee Lounge: Well, we try to post two a day. A profile plus something related.You can't be a daily if you don't post everyday, and sometimes it can be hard. We only have content if we make time to go out and interview people. But if one of us goes on vacation, we have posts backed up and ready. Last month though, our one-week break turned into a three-week break, so that was tricky. I fill in for Tina sometimes with some food or KC shots. We both freelance so our schedules are more flexible. For now we haven't made any efforts to make money from our blog, mainly because we want to prove to ourselves the value of our work and our content. But it's is definitely something we'd like to see happen in the future.

bankmeister: The best part about the subtitle, though, is the commitment, if I may call it that, to making Kansas City better. This is stupendous and commendable on levels immeasurable. Very cool. Do you look forward to that part of a subject’s interview more, or is it more interesting to learn about the subjects themselves? Have you ever considered rewording the final question?

Employee Lounge: This question makes our blog cohesive, but it's the hardest question we ask. It's easy to talk about yourself. I like learning about the people more and no, we have no immediate plans or rewording our KC question.

bankmeister: Allow me to clarify: To each his own, and if eight out of 10 people want to say “more public transportation,” then fine. What about not leaving it so open-ended? I have no idea how this would work, but off of the top of my head, you could allow them to suppose they were given the government checkbook for a day, or were put in charge of a rally, or an exhibition.

Employee Lounge: That's a good idea actually. But honestly, I think if they got the government checkbook, the people who answered public transport would use that check for public transportation. It's maddening that we keep talking about light rail year after year, but there is never any progress! That's why we support biking as much as we can through links and information on the blog. Baby steps. We keep it open-ended because we don't want to influence their answer.

bankmeister: I know I’m getting philosophical about the thing, but it’s tough to see many folks have ideas that they may never again revisit. Also, you should make weather/landform gripes unacceptable. Enough, though, about me telling you how to run your own blog.

Employee Lounge: Ha! Mountains and an ocean would be nice though!

bankmeister: Let'sreturn to the positive. The features that are not subject profiles are really cool. The guess-where-we-ares, the weekend link love, the outtakes, the industry detours, the guest posts, all of them. I’ve always felt like the more feature ideas you can come up with, the better the blog will be. Are there any creations simmering on your collective stoves that we may soon see in the Lounge?

Employee Lounge: Once a month, we will be posting a feature on Kansas City history. David Hayden did the first one about the Town of Kansas Bridge. My husband George Vial, also a writer, will be working on a post about the history of Weston. We're also collaborating with Jessie Artigue of The Concrete Catwalk on some fashion posts (uniform makeovers, taking your look from after work to the bar, stuff like that). And I would love to see KC chefs share favorite recipes or kitchen tricks. The beauty of blogging is that we can keep adding these things. As soon as we come up with an idea, it can happen.

bankmeister: All in all, the work you two are doing is admirable. I really appreciate, as do others I’m sure, the fact that you have the “stay healthy” tab on the site, and hey –- who doesn’t like recommendations for cheap wine, patios, and brunch spots?

Employee Lounge: Working on the blog, Tina and I have found so much to be inspired by. It's the best thing we ever did for ourselves as artists, and we are insanely happy to have found an audience who support us like they do. The tabs at the top of the page are all things that I like so it's a given. Health care has always been a tough subject, especially in the service industry, I think. I never had health insurance before I worked my corporate job, so I get it.

bankmeister: Good thing going, though, and the work I’ve seen on your two personal sites -- for example, the garden post is just breathtaking –- has great potential as well. I mean, all of the shots on Backyard Ink are fantastic (Editor’s Note: Tell Larry and Rhonda I said the Broncos suck.), as is the photographic work and writing on Bristow Fresh (http://www.bristowfresh.blogspot.com/). If you asked me, I’d say the latter could use more skinny-dip photos, but I’m just a hack in a basement, so if you’re gonna take me seriously, then let’s up the Lounge antes on shots of the breastacular/well-endowed-mannequin variety, too.

Finally, a hearty huzzah to Annie for her perfect answer to how she’d make Kansas City better. This is exactly how I’d answer were I a subject, and if Annie reads this, let’s make a joint effort to do something and get a grassroots/civic-pride movement going. I think we start by going to a Board meeting, no? Oh, and David’s bit about citywide (versus neighborhood) pride was also top-notch.

So, thanks for the time, and if I may toss out a few subject recommendations:

1) Jillian, who can be found at the Foundry.
2) Buck, who can be found at Corner Cocktails in south Waldo (though he'd probably pitch a fit and decline.
3) Bernie, who can be found at the Brooksider
4) Ethan in Westport. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a joint from which he's collected a paycheck, and
5) Katie, who, if I'm not mistaken, is still at Mike's Tavern.

(Photos courtesy of Tina Magee-Jenks, via The Employee Lounge)
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Sock 'Er

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Weekend Whippoorwill: Very Bad Things

The new joint has been officially up and running for six days. It's kind of a shame considering the initial target date was St. Patrick's day. I blame construction. In fact, everyone does. But that's only because they completely suck. Here, one day after the celebration of our nation's birth, I propose that we amend the constitution to allow construction workers to be shot when they fudge end dates or do something stupid. Not like, with a gun or anything. Maybe with one of those rubberband shooters. That would be cool. Because then you could shoot them in the neck. Anyway, this, in case you didn't know, is a horrible weekend in which to debut your new eats/drinks establishment because people are doing family stuff, drinking heavily, and blowing stuff up, not necessarily in that order. Since nothing's happening in the kitchen right now, here's some splendid weekend correspondence.

The gang over at Arrowhead Addict knows the scoop on Old No. 4. Granted, it's not really scoopable material since everything associated with the story is tagged with allegations and speculations, but it's still worth mentioning. On the one hand, I can't imagine Favre playing for anybody but Green Bay. On the other hand, Kansas City is about the only franchise I could see pulling off such travshamockery. I'm interested to see if this thing progresses to the next stage of prognostication.

In Bronco Country, HercRock's been documenting the epic off-season of B-Marsh. Check out his thoughts on the route runner's most recent oopses here, here, and here.

Since we're talking about really dumb news stories, we can't skip out the always-existed newly discussed standing rule at Arrowhead. Warpaint Illustrated breaks it down for us.

In more interesting developments, Bronco Talk -- the little blog that never sleeps -- alerts us to some worthwhile reading, like this FoxSports story regarding the helmets of defensive players, and how some (likely that of the middle linebacker) of them will now include electronic transmitters like those used in the quarterback's gear. They also hook us with this link to a CBS4Denver story where former Broncos running back Terrell Davis looks at the '08 Denver squad, and of course there's the token John Elway bukkake post that's mandatory for any Broncos blog.

Over at Arrowhead Pride, the latest intallment of "When We Were Champions" features Jacky Lee. A good read. A quick read. And one that ends on a funny note: a speculation that Lee looks like the good ol' boy quarterback up thar in Indianapolis.

In non-football Denver news, Bugs and Cranks recaps a very long Fourth of July baseball contest in which 25 runs were scored.

Speaking of baseball, the kids over at Royals Review run open threads on each Royals game. Yesterday's series opener against the Bay Rays isn't one you want to read. Not because the thread is bad, but because the game was. Very, very bad.

That's about all she ever intended to write for this off-the-wall weekend installment. Hope you're killing hangovers with beer. Tip one for the Gipper. Or someone.
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Tradition Tuesday: Travis-ty

The rough focus of this blog is the historic rivalry between two original American Football Conference teams: the Denver Broncos and the Dallas Texans. In the early days, those Broncos weren't much to look at. They wore vertically-striped brown and yellow socks and they lost a lot.

The Texans, however, were a powerhouse. Financed by the secretive millions of known Oswald-Ruby coconspirator Lamar Hunt and his henchmen, they selected a coach named Hank Stram, who played fast and loose with both the rules of the sport and the English language. They matriculated on up the prairie to Kansas City, best known as the hideout of fugitive outlaws Jesse James and Timothy McVeigh, and adopted the nickname of a local political boss, "The Chief." These mighty warriors laid waste to the old AFL and collected many baubles and trinkets associated with glory and victory.

Then three young men were born in the 1970s: myself, Cecil and Banky. We were blank slates, clean and pure, untainted by the awful decisions grown-ups make. Bathed in the sparkling waters of the majestic Rocky Mountains, Cecil and I gravitated toward the Broncos. Our childhood innocence touched the franchise with a golden glow of goodness, which led to many seasons of winning and multiple championship celebrations. If it seems like I just took credit for winning the Super Bowl twice, well, you didn't think I was going to acknowledge Bill Romanowski, did you?

Meanwhile, out in KC, Banky's people turned the young boy over to the powerful forces of Lord Hunt and his minions. Year after year the darkness was burned into him like a brand on his soul. It's hopeless for the Banky generation, but perhaps we at the HoG can reach out to the next wave of youngsters and help them see the light. Onward, boys! To Victory!

I assure you, this Tradition we maintain is rarely as stupid as what I have just described. Usually we just get drunk and yell at the refs. So here's Tradition Tuesday--a weekly state of the rivalry address.

The big news out in Dove Valley, and indeed all across the landscape of smart-ass sports comedy, is the release of Broncos running back Travis Henry. We're all going to miss him around here. No more T-Hen Watch. No more Derrick Thomas jokes, at least about bastard kids. No more bongs. Actually, there will still be bongs. Just not engraved No. 20 Reebok authentic bongs.

What Henry leaves behind in the way of joke inspiration, however, far exceeds his Bronco legacy of actually playing the game of football. After the jump, we'll take a peek around what's left of the Denver backfield, predict who might help your stupid fantasy team next season, and find a way to make fun of another pothead...

I have to say, I was pretty damn shocked that Henry got canned at this juncture. I was actually driving around with my father-in-law on Sunday, a potentially uncomfortable moment that was saved by the fact that he's a Bronco jihadist. In the course of our conversation, he asked me point blank if I thought the team would cut ties with Henry.

"No way," I said. "They gave him a $12 million signing bonus on a 4-year deal, so cutting him now would cost them $9 mil against the cap this season. They'll get one more year out of him and dump him after June 1 in '09."

And then a day later he's gone. Shows you how much I know about the salary cap. I was unaware of several facts: One, it was originally a five-year contract, so the prorated slices are slimmer. Two, Henry restructured after his flop debut, so he won't get another dime out of the team. According to Mike Klis he'll cost the Broncos $1.2 million against the cap this season and $3.6 mil next.

Klis also posts a mailbag today with a bunch of wacky dope in it. He sees the Broncos checking in as one of the top 12 teams in the league and competing for a playoff spot in the final week. I say lay off that crack, pal. Klis also envisions a big role for Michael Pittman--hogwash. Pittman has been a marginal player for the last seven years, both in Arizona and in Tampa. I'll be stunned if he tallies 100 carries this season, and the only way he sees the field very much is in the event of copious injuries.

The ball will go to Selvin Young. He's allegedly beefed up in anticipation of an increased workload. But because Shanahan is a big advocate of platooning his RBs, get ready for Ryan Torain to enter the picture as well. He was a fifth-round pick out of Arizona State whose only downside is a checkered injury history. Keep him out of the trainer's room and you have a ready-made back for the system.

Pittman will log a lot of clipboard time, but perhaps he could fill in a little at fullback as well. After all, he does have some experience plowing into the line and opening holes. You stay classy, Denver. Bill Williamson, one of Cecil's favorite objects of scorn, thinks that wife-and-kid-endangerer Pittman will be a soothing comfort in the locker room as opposed to the disruption of Henry. I know T-hen has a lot of kids, but to my knowledge he never aimed a Hummer at any of them.

Even more incredibly, Pittman's old employer has brought a bigger scumbag in to fill his roster spot. If you ever need to kill an hour, check out the excellent Seattle Times series on Rick Neuheisel's out-of-control Washington team, especially the chapter on Jerramy Stevens. It will shock, amaze and disgust you.

And just to get a little more class and dignity up in this joint, and in the interest of equal time for KC, here's an update on the newest athletic role model for the City of Fountains. Mr. Carter, you'll remember, was booted from the NFL for liking the drugs and possibly being bipolar. But Coach Herman, who once had carter on his Jets roster and I can only assume invited him over for barbecues these days, says he "is of good character." Good enough for me.
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Baseball In The Gay Time, Fabulously Casual Royals Style

I understand that these are heady times out there in Kansas City. You long-suffering fans have a team in the Final Four (with a chance to eliminate your two-timing ex-coach to boot). The Royals are 3-0 after drilling the Tigers in all three games to start the season. And the Chiefs, well, heck they have yet to lose a game in 2008. You're hot, you're excited, you're all lathered up with sweat and Gates' sauce and manly energy, what do you do until the next game?

Well, I'll tell you what you do! You get your ass down to Price Chopper and pick up the 2008 Royals Calendar, filled with all your sexy baseball men dressed casually, like they would be if you were to hit on them at Sharp's over an omelet.

Check out all the spontaneous outtakes here, here and especially, with extra same-sex tension, HERE.

Man, if I liked either the Royals or butt-fuckin' dudes (or both), I'd be really excited right now.
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Meanwhile, On The Outskirts Of Kansas City...

While shaking off yet another early morning of baseball--this time a loss for the champs--I stumbled across this.

There's not really much I can add to this one. Read more

Not Everything In Kansas City Is Horrible

Cheer up, Kansas City. Just because your baseball team is allegedly getting demoted to the JV and signing Satan (and Sosa!), and your football team has lost the greatest receiver ever, and your brand-new arena doesn't have a tenant, that doesn't mean we need to stick our collective heads in an oven. At least your newspaper is pretty good.

That's right, kids, that trashy tabloid The Star won a bunch of sportswriting awards. Even if the always excellent Posnanski and the sometimes poignant Fatlock got lumped in the same category with the consistently dreadful Bob Kravitz--thus devaluing the award like the American dollar against the Euro.

So just remember, when you wake up every day and read that your team lost, you're at least reading a superbly well-written slab of journalism. It's hard to put lipstick on a pig, but you've got some lipstick-wielding Picasso-like motherfuckers out there. Congrats. Now if only a majority of your citizenry could read...

/made you look
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