Cause it's Free, Free Agency

So we released Javon and Ian Gold. Fuck.

Not because I am gonna miss either one of those guys, one a tiny-brained malcontent and the other maybe the worst starting linebacker in the league, but because I was hoping against hope that some dumbass GM would cough up a draft pick or two for JW. Even a fifth-rounder. I was, as usual, wrong. And no, the sting never lessens.

But I applied a thick salve of sports talk radio it and now I feel better--because a caller to Ancient Irv Brown's show actually suggested something really fucking smart: the Broncos should sign Lance Briggs.

And here's why: he played on the outside in Chicago because of Urlacher. He was a middle 'backer at Arizona, where he led the Wildcats in tackles for three years. Add him as the Mike in an aggressive, speed-and-penetration-based 4-3, with DJ moving back to his natural position on the outside. Draft a strong-side backer or give Webster a shot (which probably wouldn't work, but still) or both. He'll cost a lotta money, but what would you rather have? Niko Koutouvides?

I know. We're probably going to end up with Niko Koutouvides anyway. But dreams, friends, they are all we have.

While I'm speculating about big-dollar pickups that likely won't happen, how about Bernard Berrian? The guy can whip, plus he'd finally be playing with an NFL quarterback instead of a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome. He'd be the perfect deep threat complement to Brandon Marshall's ferocious mid-range game.

And he'd only cost, um, a whole fucking lot more than he's really worth. But such is the dance of free fucking agency, and if you don't like it, move to North Korea and buy a bunch of grey khaki jackets.