Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Tradition Tuesday: The Boys Were Back in Town

As you may or may not know, the rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Denver Broncos. We stray, as cats are prone to do, from time to time, from said focus, but whenst we return to the almighty bin of nuts and bolts, it's about our two football clubs from the occasionally fantastic American Football Conference, Division West. Cecil and Old No. 7 toot the Denver horn, while I raise the Chief roof, and we both do so in hopes of Lombardi trophies and destroying one another's teams en route. Though our fandom has much deeper roots, we started what we call The Tradition, some nine years ago, wherein we visit one another's stadiums, root for our own teams, and crush our livers with many cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon "Welcome to Life" Light. With many variable affecting these occasions, there are always two certainties: The visiting team is all but guranteed to lose, and we, the HoG Iron Triangle, will definitely underestimate the amount of PBR Light we need, and have to switch to the original recipe, which grossly offends all within a 50-mile radius. The Tradition is a grand old time nonetheless, and we plan to keep it going strong, offspring or no. We therefore bring you, fantastic reader(s) Tradition Tuesday, our weekly state-of-the-rivalry address.

In the words of Carl Peterson, "to be quite frank with you" we haven't exactly been that consistent with anything this feature, and today we're going to keep that theme alive by talking very little Chiefs and even less Broncos. See, The Iron Triangle celebrated a festivity this past weekend, a rare occasion in which we gather not for a football game or a wedding. It was, brash as we may often sound, an event for a good cause, one that took place in our original place of meeting, Durango, CO. The event was a fundraiser for Durango's Women's Resource Center, and there are but a few tidbits of interest: 1) We treated the event much like a Tradition-al Tailgate, arriving many hours earlier than permitted and swilling grain alcohol for breakfast; 2) there may have been one or two nearby participants that found us obnoxiously stentorian (Editor's Note: That's as nice as it's gonna get, and I can promise you: It won't get that nice again.); and 3) we swept the competition with our savory meats, which we did in fact braise and marinate with various rubs and oils.

But enough about that. You came here to read about sports, and so sports is what I'll give you. What follows, is a top ten-ish list of things discussed/learned over the course of the previous seven days. You may find one or all of them to be a bore, but give us a break -- we haven't posted anything in a week, so you're lucky you're getting this.

10) Earvin "Magic" Johnson was more clutch, and better loaded with a caliber of awesomeness than Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, or LeBron James will ever be (Note: This sentence comes with both an invite to discuss in the comments as well as a disclaimer of non-accuracy.). You may, if you feel so inclined, visit the conveniently linked Pro Reference pages attached to each fella's name.

9) The Kansas City Chiefs, since starting new Head Coach Todd Haley's off-season conditioning program, have lost a collective 340 pounds, which is roughly equivalent to three and-a-half orders of The Cure, from the Durango Diner menu.

8) The Pink Polo likes to draw. (Note: If you're in Durango, and interested in purchasing some brewpub paraphernelia, you can't do it here, because that portion of the Web site is down, so you'll have to do it in person, which is a total clusterfuck of a drag. My recommendation? Get cash. Break in after hours. Break into the display case. Find your items. Leave cash.)

7) Andre "Brock Middlebrook" Rison thinks that he is the greatest wide receiver to ever play the game.

6) Yesterday's sports-page poll in USA Today: "How will the Denver Broncos fare in Josh McDaniels' first season as coach?"

Fifteen percent said "better than 8-8," 21 percent said "another 8-8 season," and 64 percent said "a losing record."

Elsewhere in Today news, Mike Ditka and Tony Dungy are skeptical of Jay Cutler's potential in Chicago, while Chad Johnson says that he and Carson Palmer are "like 'Brokeback Mountain.'"

5) Former Boston Red Sox outfielder Mike Greenwell, has hit two inside-the-park grand slams against the same pitcher, Greg Cadaret. The first occasion was on July 9, 1989 against the New York Yankees. The second came 14 months later. Both were balls hit to right field at Fenway Park.

4) I'm pretty sure the name Jake Plummer came up at some point this weekend. I don't recall the circumstances, but whatever. The boys over at BroncoTalk have put together a post in honor of Plummer, a post that has a look at some interesting profile shots on the current Denver Broncos roster. Have a look.

3) I tapped into the logic of Cecil during a quick visit to the carport, and we chatted about the Roger Goodell strategy in suspending Michael Vick before court proceedings for his actions, but not suspending Brandon Marshall. Vick's crimes are largely infamous by now. Allegations against Marshall still fly a touch under the radar in comparison. Let's refresh:

Orlando, Florida, 10/31/04

1) assault on a law enforcement officer,
2) refusal to obey,
3) disorderly conduct
4) resisting an officer

Denver, Colorado, 01/01/07

5) present at a nightclub with then teammates Javon Walker and Darrent Williams, wherein an altercation involving Marshall's cousin and other club patrons allegedly ensued; the alleged retaliation of which resulted in the shooting/death of Williams.

Denver, Colorado, 03/26/07

6) arrested on charges of suspicion of domestic violence

Denver, Colorado, 10/22/07

7) arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol

Atlanta, Georgia, 03/06/08

8) Marshall is booked, then released for a March 3rd incident in which misdemeanor battery charges were later filed against the Bronco in September.

Denver, Colorado, 06/12/08

9) ticketed for an illegal lane change, no proof of insurance or driver license in possession

Atlanta, Georgia, 03/01/09

10) arrested for disorderly conduct

I've heard rumors of 16 charges, etc. against him. Cecil himself claimed 13. The debate, though, remains, why do Vick and Adam Jones get suspended, but not Marshall?

Couple clips for shits and giggles:

2) Naturally, the Iron Triangle had a staggering 30-second conversation about hockey and the NHL. Actually, it was a one-part Q&A between Seven and myself regarding the Stanley Cup Finals schedule. I mentioned what I'd heard, along with the rumors that Conan O'Brien's debut as the host of "The Tonight Show" couldn't be ruined by stupid hockey. And then my wife made fun of me for my pronunciation of Conan, and we got back to talking about old-time baseball. To commemorate, here's a clip with both:

1) Finally, the issue of The Big Lead was briefly addressed. Cecil spoke for all three of us -- and by all three of us, I speak for Seven in typing that -- when he mentioned that Deadspin isn't what it used to be. There were reasons for that, but I'm not going to get into them because the more important issue is that The Big Lead is arguably the best sports blog out there. But, there are two questions that we pose to them, knowing full well that they will never see either: First, why do you publish like five posts on your home page when you have room for about 30 and you're producing roughly a dozen posts a day? For stats? Clicks? Second, who's meatbag do we have to polish to get a link on your page? Christ almighty.

Anyway, that's if for my efforts this week. Tune in tomorrow when Seven promises to deliver two weeks worth of hot chicks, all bundled into one post.


Cecil said...

7's barbecue recipes were too much for the competition. That simple. People dig the good food...and the fact that we had a PA system and rocked the European soccer chants just served as stylish topping.

Next year, we do the Haka.

Dylan said...

I ate a seven-made parking lot bratwurst once. It was seasoned/prepared with ingredients only found in nature in the lowlands of Camarrowhead.
It may or may not have included saliva from the hot boy/boy kissing contest occuring next door..it surely had some dirt.
It was delicious.
The man can't turn a phrase, but he sure can maritriculate the meats!

old no. 7 said...

You bet your ass you gobbled my sausage. Wait, what?

bankmeister said...

There has never before been a three-comment thread with this much man love going on in it. Manhich anyone?

Cecil said...

Mmm...wich made of man.