We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: A Safe & Happy Fourth

Listen up, kids. It is not time to peruse ThumbTubes & YouNails. It is not time for Tuesday's Tradition, and it is not time to dive into a Clamtini known as "Baseball in the Daytime." It's Wednesday, which technically means a lot of things, but most importantly, it means that it's time for us to disguise a gallery of cleavage with a Gary Coleman photo. It's also a few short days away from celebrating the independence of the United Fucking States of America, and let's face it -- we can all use a few friendly reminders of how to look after our fellow countryfolk, not to mention ourselves. So hop past the leap, and, uh, explode.

Heather Fawcett



I have no idea if the lovely Heather is kin to the late Farrah. I doubt it, but let's give it up to her for giving her country the shirt off her back.

Isis Taylor



Miss Taylor is a bit unsure of what the temperature in her neighborhood will look like on the fourth. That's okay, though. We're here to help. The forecast: The sun will be out for a solid 14 hours (in varying degrees) on that day in particular.

Karlie Madelyn



Though specific plans for the Madelyn crew have yet to be ironed out, one thing is certain: She's raising her hand(s) because she's Sure we should all join her in the hot tub.



And, by the looks of things, I'm sure I'll want a front seat.

Katie Price



Yippee-kay-yay, mother-effers. You bet Katie Price is gonna celebrate.



Cowgirl hat and flip-flops? Check.



Sultry stare? Check.



Beach full of dudes ready to limbo? Roger.



Post-skinny-dip top? Count it. By Jove, that's 'Merican!

Magenta Bentley



If you're not the rowdy type, there's nothing wrong with staying in for your festivities.



There's more than one way to skin a long-legged cat with bizarre furniture and the perfect boots to match the ultimate stripper name the decor.



But alas, the Fourth of Jew-lie is meant to be enjoyed with a great breath of fresh freedom air, so get on out into Mother Nature.

Mariah Milano



Lots of folks go to the lake for this fantastic holiday.



The, uh, water looks really inviting. I'm in!

Melissa Buhl



The only thing about water festivities on such a summer holiday is that, on occasion, one is self-conscious about donning one's bathing suit. Melissa Buhl falls in some other category on some other holiday.

Melissa Puente



If you're hosting a gala, it's always important to think of the folks that won't be drinking alcohol. I like to offer soda, water, and everyone's favorite juice drink, Hawaiian Punch.

Nadia Moore



Nadia Moore likes her event to be all fancy and shit.



I say, "forget that."



We're all just going to eat five times the meat we usually do, get loaded, and light stuff on fire. Why bother?

Sarah Lyons



The Sarah Lyons type of affair is more up my alley.



And by "up my alley," I mean something entirely different.

Teresa Noreen



In fact, the dress code for 4th parties at my place is clothing-optional.

Theresa Graziadei



That is, except for myself, 'cause no one wants to see that. No one but Theresa, in the garage, behind the vintage automobile, with a greasy smock as my only article.

Veronica Ricci



But like all holidays, take it easy, take it seriously, and be careful out there.



Wouldn't want anything to, you know, come undone.

Have a safe and happy Fourth, y'all. Load up on your fireworks and liquor. Your guests will be pleased.
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Monday Miscellany: 1-19-09

If this post were a Shakespeare piece, I'd title it Much Ado About Nothing. Got some random thoughts to share this fine afternoon, and we might as well touch on some NFL action, and get it over with. On the one hand, I'm stoked for the Buzzsaw. It's great. It really is. Is it depressing that the Arizona Cardinals made the Super Bowl in my lifetime before the Chiefs? It burns, burns, burns, that ring of fire. Great for Ken Whisenhunt. Great for that defense, even if it is run by a game named Clancy. Great for Edgerrin James. Great for Anquarry Boldgerald, the entire franchise, and of course the fans. The Super Bowl is always the true test, and this will certainly not be an exception as Old No. 7's coveted Steeler fan base will likely eat up those Tampa tickets like a fat man at a Country Kitchen. So Arizona's got that workin' against 'em, which isn't nice.

In the loser's bracket side of things, I'll say this about the AFC: Tough shit, Ravens. You are the most historically overrated franchise in ages. Ages. For the NFC, nice choke job, Philly. Didn't see that comin' a mile away. On that note, I get that the Mike Holmgren tree of coaching wonders was a great thing, but I'll never understand how Marty Mornhinweg continues to collect a paycheck in the National Football League. Hey, M&M -- you have a great running back. How about running him in plays not called screen passes? Also, your franchise quarterback is only 32, and still pretty mobile. Take advantage of his legs. You know, like that first play from scrimmage where he ran for 20 yards. To all the Eagles fans that want to bitch about the non-called pass interference play: Don't forget about the four late-in-the-fourth-quarter times McNabb had drive-continuing opportunities with open receivers and threw errantly. A wise man/non-winning coach once said, "You play to win the game," not to have officials determine it for you.

Enough with the consistent thoughts, though. This is about miscellany. I don't know what this means



but somehow it fits.

My wife just took this kid of whom she's the life coach to a Martin Luther King, Jr. function. Afterwards they went to Burger King and invited me. I've questioned their marketing brainstorms before, and I'll just mention that, during the seven minutes we were inside the BK, we talked mostly about, uh, BK.

Okay, wait. Timeout. This is the second image that comes up



when you Google image search the words "Burger King commercial."

Okay. Now it makes sense. Anyway. I was eating my fries -- I went for the Whopper Jr. meal (hold the mayo, sub bacon and cheese), by the way, since I knew you were dying of curiosity -- and the wax/paper/cardboard container they were in was called "Frypod." In case none of this is news, I haven't been to a Burger King in some time. On the back of the Frypod, there was a text snippet that started off a little something like this: Regarding ketchup, "does the ketchup make the fries or do the fries make the ketchup? Ponder that, Captain Deepthoughts."

It made me wonder if some sort of snarky blogger was in charge of this campaign. Then I went to dump my tray and saw this:



and this:



Then on my way out, I noticed that, in lieu of the traditional "enter" and "exit" door signs, the displays were "c'mon in" and "buh-bye." Very odd. I didn't dislike any of it. In fact, I appreciated the different, for lack of a better word, angle that they'd taken. It was all still very weird, though. But enough about fast food.

It's nearly been two years since Sarah Spain busted (Editor's Note: Pun fully intended) onto the scene. I have no idea where her career was at that point, but one could argue that it has been nothing shy of spectacular since. Via the FaceBookery, she's letting everyone know that she's thoroughly enjoying her winter vacation in Cancun.



That or the Cancun is thoroughly enjoying her. Could be both.

The Pittsburgh Penguins played the New York Rangers yesterday. Penguins netminder Marc-Andre Fleury had quite the performance, enough to show a little homerism:



(courtesy of With Leather)

Went and saw "Slumdog Millionaire" this weekend. Totally awesome. Definitely recommend it. Before the film, one of the previews was for "The Wrestler." This might be the shortest review of it ever written.

In case you were unaware, Deadspin is your official Arizona Cardinals bandwagon site.



Go ahead. Read all about it. Or don't. Makes no difference to me.
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Christmas Eve Tidbits

Happy Holidays from the House of Georges. Enjoy some quick-and-lazy bullet points after the jump.

* Ed Hochuli won't be there on Sunday. Not physically anyway.

* The headline "Broncos on brink of collossal collapse" is some nice nutmeg for that eggnog.

* Evidence of more RBBAWB going on in Denver's backfield.

* Other Denver roster action.

* As Cecil once said, "Strength of schedule is a retarded stat."

* Arrowhead Pride's been doing a phenomenal job researching potential Chiefs GM candidates. Examine their work here.

* Last but not least, This Old Chief over at Arrowhead Addict is feeling some brief, but genuine cheer.
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Are an' Are

Happy Thanksgiving, yo. We're takin' the day off. Read more

We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: Our Fathers' Fathers

Yesterday was Veteran's Day here in America. In Canada, they celebrated Remembrance Day. Both Veteran's Day and Remembrance Day exist so that citizens of either fine nation reflect upon members of their respective armed forces brigades. This, in the United States is not to be confused with Memorial Day, wherein Americans remember those killed in battle. The day -- often referred to as Armistice Day in the past -- is tagged, though, on the 11th of November to indicate the end of hostilities from the Great War, which ceased in the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918. This, obviously, is an important holiday as the masses of murdered are still, in large part, unrecognized. Casualty estimates from WWI range from 18 to 60 million, which, on the low end, is more than the Vietnam, Korean, and Civil wars combined. Thus, we remember many a father -- or padre in Spanish -- and their fathers, and their fathers' fathers.

These days of remembrance are meant to include veterans from all our wars, and my father's father was a WWII pilot. I've never dug up his name attached to anything, but apparently, as a 19 (ish)-year old, he flew the Strawberry Bitch and did so in missions to Africa, Italy, and was something like the sixth plane in line for the D-Day invasion at Normandy. I haven't verified any of these facts; I know not the order of missions, or if that plane was part of any or all. This is simply what my late father once told me, and I never knew him as a fibber. The plane, however, is pretty famous, and allegedly haunted. It was restored and flown to Wright Patterson Air Force Base, and now rests there in the United States Air Force Museum. The practice of placing pin-up girls on the noses of planes was something that was never sanctioned by the Air Force, but overlooked given that it was something in the way of morale and a reminder of home. The image on Strawberry Bitch was supposedly inspired by a Vargas girl from Esquire magazine, and legend has it that she was initially nude on the plane, but had clothes painted on her for the purposes of display in the museum. Should a third world war ever break out, the House of Georges has some suggestions for plane art.

Aylar Lie



There's something about Aylar Lie that makes me think of nose.



And I knows that an image of her would up the value of any bird.

Cara Wakelin



That outfit, that coffee pour, that porch. Jackpot. Count it.

Jen Arsenault



Miss Arsenault might be better suited for cockpit art.



I have no idea what that means.



Oh wait. Yes I do.

Jessica DiFeo



The blue of Jessica works in so many ways.



From top to bottom,



I'm reminded of the sky, the water, and um, other stuff.

Karlie Montana



I wouldn't put Miss Montana on the nose; a depiction of her should be in the belly.

Kyla Cole



Kyla Cole I'd mount by the props.



Or in the tail.



Hell, I guess I'd mount her anywhere.

Lindsay Strutt



Lindsay Strutt art might look better in the office.



I mean, she does,



so why mess with a good thing.

Marta Gut



Marta Gut? Hangar.

Mary Castro



Mary might be the perfect example of nose art.



She can look good vertically,



horizontally,



or simply spread out across the body.

Nikkala Stott



If I get drafted, I've got dibs on Miss Stott for my vessel.



Typically, there isn't a draft, and I'm likely a decade and-a-half too old for such business, but I'm just sayin'...



...if the time comes, I've got a small fleet of images ready for naked bombers.



These crafts will require no touch-up work either.



They're fully dressed,



and ready for action.



Sort of.

Sophia Rossi



Miss Rossi would be fine for the nose of some other plane that some other guy would fly.

Vanessa Raia



And Vanessa Raia? I'd paint her likeness on a horse if you told me to.



She'd look good on one of those amphibious units.



Or any unit, really.

That's our post-holiday work. Thanks to the pilots of Gorilla Mask and Daily Niner.
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