Saturday Studmuffins: Minnesota Twins Catcher Joe Mauer

Ugh. I enjoy this feature, because it's quick and easy. I do not, however, enjoy giving props to people that wreck my teams.

Someone asked the other day who I would say was the Royals' arch-enemy? The Yankees? The White Sox? Those are decent guesses, but the real answer is Minnesota. For reasons I cannot explain, the Twins always have an edge on the Royals, and frankly, it's starting to get real God-damn old.

What's more, is that there are specific Twins that nearly single-handedly kill the Royals almost every time they play. Joe Mauer is at the top of that list.

Joe Mauer hadn't played a single game yet this season until last night. What does he do in his debut? Nothing. Nothing, that is, in the form of two hits (a double and a homer) an RBI, a walk and score three times en route to a 7-5 win for the Twinkies.

Please. At your earliest convenience, help yourself to a dose of Swine Flu, Joe Mauer.