We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: The Top Ten Human Beings That Have Never, Ever, Under Any Circumstance, Met Bill Maas, Or Taken His Cheddah For Sex

We took a week off from this feature last week. As our attorney, we advised ourselves that it was simply the right thing to do. We were notified, via the electronic-message-sending apparati, by a one-time featuree here in the WAHC-Dome, and suffice it to say that the talent in question was less than pleased. Therefore, in an attempt to erectify situations happening in places and pants across the Webs, we ducked under the radar for some super-secret planning and brainstorming, all in the name of clarification.

Today we are, of course, back and badder than ever, and we've enlisted the help of some fantastic folks to help us with our little exercise of understanding. Yous can pick ups mores o' whats I's puttin' down with one simple click.

Lindsey Alvarez



Let's face it. Rapport in relationships is important. You, the reader, have a relationship right now with me, the writer. It's important that we trust one another, and you must trust me when I say that Miss Alvarez has never met Bill Mass.



In fact, I don't think she understood a word I said when we "spoke."

Rachel Leslie



Now that we understand one another, I presume that this trust thing can be carried on for many, many sentences.



Rachel Leslie likes to cook from scratch. She's been known to give the grocery-store cashier bills, who in exchange, gives her masa, but that's about it.

Alanna Hensley



Alanna Hensley punched me in the mouth when I asked her if she'd ever met Bill Maas. I didn't get it then, and I don't get it now, either.

Jenna Presley



Jenna Presley has had many a Bill cross her threshold.



In each of those circumstances, I have no idea if there was any currency exchanged, simply because I did not have the Coleman-Cam mounted outside her window.



Lucky for me, I do now.

Jill Williams



Jill Williams did a double take when I asked her. She wanted spelling clarification. "Nope," she said. "I dated a William Moss in college, but no Bill Maas. Sorry." Exact words. Swear.

Vickey Lloyd



Vickey Lloyd was, how do I say this, not interested in my line of questioning. Whether or not we ate some ecstasy and tied each other up after the "interview" is for you to believe. C'mon, Team Rapport!

Stella Nero



"Stella Nero," I said. "Have you ever met Bill Maas?" Her response: "First of all, I don't even like red."

Taylor Vixen



When I asked Taylor the same question, she laughed.



At first I couldn't tell whether she thought the question or the questioner was the stupidest?



But when she said, "Look at you, with your pencil and spiral pad, like you got somethin' to write down," I knew that she a) had most likely never met Bill Maas, and b) found me extremely stupid.

Michelle Moore



When interrogating Miss Moore, I had to flee the scene. I posed the question, and she answered, "I'll answer any way you like for the right price." I grew paranoid thinking she had the Coleman-Cam on me. I ran very quickly.

Sarah Blake



Lucky number ten was Sarah Blake. She quaintly informed me that she was not an escort or a prostitute, but that she'd had her share of Grunhard, which thoroughly confused me.

Anyway, that's our bounce-back edition for the week. Come back next week when the theme will be a fundraiser for my bail money. Thanks to our guards and tackles for givin' us material.