Baseball in the Daytime: 4-9-09

It's true: This image has absolutely zero to do with today's installment of "Baseball in the Daytime," but sometimes, when looking for art to go along with your piece, you stumble across something you can't pass up, and in this case, I'm a N.D. fan, so, uh, like, there, or something. Anyway, there are nine, count 'em, nine, baseball games that will have all but transpired by the time the bankers of the country punch their out cards this afternoon. Dig in for some heavy previewage, or just make like most of the readers and skip this feature altogether. If you're into it, it's after the jump.

Los Mets @ Los Rojos, 11:35 Central: Starters in today's first tilt are an interesting pair. There are two somewhat-known O. Perezes associated with professional baseball. One his a fat, out-of-work, former Royal from the Dominican. The other one is pretty decent. His name's Oliver, he's put together 25 wins for the Mets over the last two campaigns, and he'll toe the slab opposite Old No. 7 favorite Bronson Arroyo today. The Mets would like to make this a sweep as Cecil's Marlins have already done so with their debut series. Catch the tilt on DirecTV 721, or have a listen: XM 183.

Tigers @ Blue Jays, 11:37: If your name is Fredrick Alfred, you've got a few nickname options. If you go with "Rick," well, you're a bigger man than I. Rick Porcello gets the nod for the Motown visitors today. His counterpart: Ricky Romero. That's right; it's a dual of Rickies. One's a lefty, the other one isn't. You can watch both of them on DirecTV 722, or listen to the commentators poke fun of their names -- which isn't guaranteed -- on XM 178.

Mariners @ Twins, 12:10: Jarrod Washburn goes for the non-Pilots today. Glen Perkins hopes to lead the Twinkies. Three games into the season, these two clubs are right where you'd expect: Minnesota with a half-game lead in the Central; Seattle's in the Western basement. DirecTV's got the broadcast on channel 723. It's 179 on XM.

Rays @ Red Sox, 12:35: The Beantown affair likely has the best pitching duel on the slate today as Matt Garza takes on Daisuke Matsuzaka. This'll be the rubbber match of the series, and a chance to gain some ground on the Eastern birds, the Blue Jays and the Orioles. Those two clubs, along with the last-place Yankees have got the Sox and Rays sandwiched in the East, and I really enjoyed typing that. A lot. The DirecTV guide says 726 if you root for Tampa, 727 if you don't. XM offers one option, and that's 177.

Yankees @ Orioles, 12:35: Speak of the devil, A.J. Burnett hopes to get the pinstripes their first win, while Alberto Simon goes for the O's. If you like losers, your feed comes in on DirecTV 724. If you live where "The Wire" was filmed, catch it on 725, which of course is a perfect opportunity to mention that Jason Whitlock's interview with "Wire" producer David Simon is slated to air during the second hour of the Jim Rome show today, which is a conflict if you're trying to listen to the game, something easily accomplished on XM 176.

Pirates @ Cardinals, 12:40: We follow those potential gems with a contest nobody cares about. Curtis Ohlendorf'll toss of for the Steel Town kid-fuckers. Representing the Busch Stadium blow-jobbers is Chris Carpenter. Seven twenty-eight's the gig for you DirecTVers, while XM suggests 184.

Indians @ Rangers, 1:05: The sensitive-minded probably take issue with the mascots meeting in Arlington today, as the Texas team nickname is offensive to, like, the Earth and stuff. If you can get over that, Carl Pavano goes for the Tribe. Brandon McCarthy is your Tex-ass starter. The Lone Star squad seeks a series sweep. Jesus wants Clevelanders to watch DirecTV 729. George W. supporters are likely to prefer 730. Flip the dial to XM 181 if you're of the radio-listening variety.

Royals @ White Sox, 1:05: It's a battle of D's in the Windy City: Kyle Davies is the Royals' righty slated for today, while lefty John Danks goes for the stockings. If you're in the KC metro, FSKC will televise, and 610 AM will broadcast. Outside of the area, DirecTV has it on -- well, slap me pink -- 731 for the blue fans, 732 for the all-whites. XM carries it on 180. Insert shameless plug for the Royals to take this one, and the series with it.

Dodgers @ Padres, 2:35: Finally, Clayton Kershaw and Kevin Correia go at it in the N.L. West. I won't be tuning in to this one, as drunk Dodger fan Johnny Utah will likely need to be bailed out of jail right around first pitch. Catch the action on DirecTV 733, or XM 185.

There you have it. Your fun-filled BitD schedule for the first Thursday of the season, and here I go, off to knock back my first scotch of the morning.