We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: The Closer

Well, kids, it's Wednesday, and you know, as well as I what that means: It's time for more really bad analogizing, topped with a G.C. pic here in the House of Georges. Two weeks ago, we started this trend this trend started itself, and it's one that touches on what might very well be the most important aspect in the game of baseball: pitching.

Our first installment centered on the starting rotation. From there we moved on to middle relief, and today, naturally, we're talking closers. This feature promises two things: 1) to very vaguely pick up on where we left off last week, and 2) not to mention Kyra Sedgwick, 'cause frankly, that would just be obnoxious. So get past the jump, and enjoy, as always, the deep-thought-rooted text about baseball that Bill James, Eric Walker, et al, would die to get their hands on. Literally.

Melissa Mikkelsen



Of all the teams in the bigs, there are a few that roll the dice on who gets the closer label.



I wouldn't say that taking a chance on a young, unproven bullpen ace would hurt your chances for making the post-season,



but if your talent struggles to wrap up easily-sealed deals,



you may want to reconsider.



Like so many folks are already saying: This early, young season,



the games in late April and early May count just as much as the ones in September.

Sonia Wild



This is not to say you can't, or shouldn't go with a youngster as your closer,



but I personally would not.



Instead, I would peg a body that looks good,



a potential closer, if you will,



and then, via your crafty wheelings and dealings,



bring in a proven closer to show the novice the ropes,



and of course, plug your young gun into the set-up role.



Leave your new set-up talent in there, even in situations where you're working from behind,



and you'll find that even the dirtiest of laundry comes out clean in the long run.



Don't believe me? G'head. Roll 'em on out there without any confidence.



See how bare your half of the score card looks in the aftermath.



Even if you start your closer as a partial-innings worker,



stance and delivery can be polished



in the name of preparation for big responsibility.



Be it under the sun at Wrigley or in the evening at Anaheim,



your talent will feel confident looking in the mirror,



knowing that the clubhouse is supporting each move,



that all of the important tools are in place,



that each appearance will be a good fight,



and that no mountain is too big for your now-experienced talent to climb.

There. If that doesn't catch the eye of every big-league skipper, I don't know what will. Thanks to today's sponsor, who provides us with fresh rosin bags for our mounds.