Baseball Bits For A Monday Morning Afternoon

There's no day baseball to fill the afternoon, but we're drawn to the game nonetheless. The trade deadline is in four days, the extra-special super-secret Roy Halladay Deadline is tomorrow, and a few swaps have already been consummated. Some big important series, vital homestands and gruelling road trips kick off tonight. And, on top of all that, we inducted a new class into the Baseball Hall Of Fame yesterday, a class that did not include either Pete Rose or any infamous steroid users. Yet all anyone in Cooperstown could talk about were Pete Rose and infamous steroid users.

Back in the day, they used to schedule the Hall Of Fame Game on this very Monday afternoon, at Doubleday Field in Cooperstown. That would have meant the A's and the Red Sox, the clubs most associated with newly minted inductees Rickey Henderson and Jim Rice, would have been forced to travel to a sleepy hamlet in upstate New York for a pseudo-exhibition in the middle of a pennant race. That was a hassle, I agree. But the A's and the Red Sox are already playing tonight, as luck would have it, at Fenway. We couldn't have played that game in daylight? Pricks.

Join us, you nocturnal baseball vampires, after the jump...

If you haven't seen Rickey's speech, please watch, it's timeless. I knew Rick was a kook and took some, um, serious liberties with the English language. Until yesterday, however, I had no ideas that he was physically incapable of pronouncing words that end in the letter S. "I was called up to the major, to play for the Oakland A." At first, I wondered if this is some kind of a condition, like Tourette's or bedwetting. But Rickey's presentation was so thoughtful, so funny and so...Rickey that I am now convinced he has created his own dialect on purpose. If Cormac McCarthy can write entire novels without using punctuation and be considered a literary genius, Rickey should be applauded for creating a world all his own.

The staff of the House of Georges conducted a series of online drafts this weekend, selecting topics for an upcoming series where we'll list our Top 25 of the last 25 years in a variety of categories. The details are unimportant, trust me, if you read this blog you will hear A LOT about this draft in the coming weeks. Let me just say that I had the pleasure of taking Rickey among my Top 25 hitters, and his numbers are just insane. Even my wife, who's not exactly the hugest stat freak you've ever met, did a double-take when she heard that Rickey stole 130 bases in 1982. "That's almost one a game!" she exclaimed.

Speaking of baseball conversations with the wives, this one at Shysterball made me LOL my ass off.

Hank Aaron is one of the most respected figures in the game, and his opinion carries a lot of weight. Unfortunately, a lot of people jerk Hank Aaron around and cash in on his credibility. Bud Selig went on Mike and Mike a few weeks back and defended his moronic scheme to tie winning the All-Star Game with home field in the World Series, and he said that because Aaron and Ron Santo told him the ASG had lost intensity from their day, he had to make the move in order to restore the game's spark. Bud Selig blamed his crackpot idea on Hank Aaron, only one of the ten best baseball players of all time. God I hate Bud Selig.

But back to Hank--he gave an interview over the weekend that raised a few eyebrows. he said that Rose should get in, and he said that juicers should too, with an asterisk on their plaques. I applaud Aaron for this on many levels. One is that he's right--Rose, Bonds, Manny and Rocket are among the greatest to ever play the game and deserve enshrinement. Two, just because you grant someone entry into the Hall of Fame doesn't mean you're calling them perfect people. Everyone knows that Reggie Jackson struck out more than anyone else in history, that Nolan Ryan issued more walks, hit more batters and permitted more stolen bases than any other pitcher, and that Ty Cobb left a trail of murdered people across the American South. Still Hall of Famers.

But mostly, I applaud Hank Aaron for speaking rationally on the subject, because if Bud Selig and the baseball writers follow his advice Hank Aaron will lose a significant amount of money. Keep that in mind whenever you hear Joe Morgan, Goose Gossage or any other sanctimonious douchebag HoFer opine on the Hall-worthiness of modern players--the more guys they keep out the more cash they keep from merchandising and card shows. It ain't all about the purity of the game or of the shrine in Cooperstown.

On the actual field of play, the Red Sox are dropping in the standings like a stone while the Yankees never lose. Luckily for Boston, they get four games at home against the sad-sack A's while new York heads to Tampa for a three-game set. The Yanks currently lead the AL East by 2 1/2 over the Sox and 6 1/2 over the Bay-Rays, while Boston leads the wild card by 2 1/2 over the Rangers.

So much for Mark Buehrle's perfect game getting the White Sox back into it--the day after the gem Chicago showed up in Detroit for four and promptly dropped the first three games. This took them from a divisional tie to three games out, and although the Pale Hose won last night to draw within two of the Tigers, we're all reminded of the fact that the White Sox aren't very good. Detroit's not either, but they will win this division barring a major collapse or unconscious run by someone else (hello, Minnesota).

I'm still saying that the NL East and West are decided, and that Philly and LA can start booking hotels for October. Stuck in the middle is St. Louis, who saw their Central lead evaporate over the weekend. The Cards dropped two of three to the Phils and today welcome the Dodgers to Busch for four more. Getting Matt Holliday was a major coup for St. Louis, and if they can keep Chris Carpenter healthy they have a major leg up should they make the playoffs. The one-two punch of Carpenter-Adam Wainwright is unmatched in the NL, unless Philadelphia or LA ends up with Roy Halladay.

In the NL wild card, Colorado dispatched the Giants yesterday to win their series and open up a two-game lead over the G-Men. After ceding first place in the Central to the red-hot Cubs, the Cardinals sit 2 1/2 back. The Rockies embark on their toughest and most crucial stretch of the season tonight as they start a four-game set with the Mets in Queens. Then they head to Cincinnati and Philly before coming home to battle the Cubs. Can Colorado's remarkable starting pitching hold up? Can their bullpen continue to get key outs with no-namers and minor-leaguers? Will Carlos Gonzales figure out how to hit, thus making the lineup completely unstoppable? I don't have these answers, folks, if I did I'd have a job writing for a seldom-read sports blog whose rough focus was the rivalry between the Denver Broncos and Kansas City Chiefs. Enjoy your week.

UPDATE: Our Smart Guy of the Day award goes to this dude at Wrigley. Thanks to Neyer for the link.
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Baseball In The Daytime: May 7 2009

Here are some games to chew on, that is if you're not already digesting the news that Manny is a filthy cheater. No wonder his hair grows so fast.

The day baseball schedule, after the jump...

Atlanta @ Florida, 10:10 Mountain These two NL East rivals get after it again today at Joe Robbie Pro Player Dolphins Stadium. Jair Jurjjens, whose grip on the baseball is only improved by his signature brand of skin lotion, takes on former Red Sox farmhand Anibal Sanchez, who once tossed a no-hitter but is constantly tormented by his girl name.

Pittsburgh @ St. Louis, 11:40 It's Wheel Of Fortune day at Busch IV, and the seamstresses who stitch up the starting pitchers' jerseys are going into extra innings. Do we still call people seamstresses? Ross Ohlendorf hurls for the Buccos, while Todd Wellemeyer does likewise for the Redbirds. I would like to buy a vowel, some peanuts and Cracker Jack, and an MLB-licensed pair of jockey shorts.

Seattle @ Kansas City, 12:10 In the City of Fountains, things are pretty swell today. The girls are a little prettier, the weather a little nicer, and it's all because the Kansas City Royals are still--still!--in first place. Joe Posnanski normally writes his annual obituary for the Monarchs right about now, but that piece is on hold indefinitely, as the KC pitching staff keeps rolling out quality starts. Last night Sir Sidney Ponson kept his demons at bay and Luke Hochevar in Omaha with seven-plus innings of one-run ball. Today Brian Bannister fingers the seams opposite the Mariners' Jarrod Washburn, while Bankmeister joyfully toys with a slider grip of his own.

San Francisco @ Colorado, 1:10 You have to hand it to these Giants, they keep coming at you. Like zombie robots. Even after the purple-clad Rox handed it to the G-Men and the Big Unit last night, San Fran refused to forfeit the rest of their season and will show up at Coors this afternoon, with their cups and gloves even. Matt Cain will try where Unit failed, and Jason Marquis goes for Colorado. Don't look now, but Marquis has been lights out (4-1. 3.31 ERA).

Texas @ Oakland, 1:35 Conventional wisdom at the onset of the season held that the A's would be surprise contenders while the Rangers would serve as doormats in the AL West. Well, if that actually happened it wouldn't be a surprise, would it? Looky here, champ, the surprise is actually that Texas can play a little ball (15-12 and first place). That, and Oakland just plain blows (9-16 and last). Phenom fireballers Brandon McCarthy and Trevor Cahill start for your road and home teams, respectively.

Arizona @ San Diego, 1:35 One might make the argument that Dan Haren has been the best pitcher in the National League thus far. One would lose that argument--not because the D'Bags awful offense has only scored enough to make Haren 3-3 but because Johan Santana also pitches on the Senior Circuit. Haren's still a top-flight ace, though, and sorely needed in Phoenix since Brandon Webb is currently sick, lame and/or lazy. Chris Young, the six-foot-ten, ex-NBA reserve, Princeton grad circus freak, is your Padres starter. Keep it off the middle of the dish, fellas, and Play Ball!
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Monday Miscellany: Pro Bowls, Steroids, and Border Wars. Oh, My!

Not gonna lie. Don't really have much to say about any of these stories. Alex Rodriguez has "admitted" to using steroids, some folks think the Pro Bowl should be cancelled, and the Missouri Tigers and Kansas Jayhawks square off (with extra rancory flavor) this evening in some college-hoops action.

Rock Chalk,



and such.
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Baseball in the Daytime: 8-14-08

We've got half a dozen games to catch this thrilling Thursday full of lights-free baseball, so let's not waste any time. Okay, we'll waste a little. If the season ended today, here'd be your playoff contenders in the National League: The Cubs would be the only shoe-in. That is, we'd have to have one-game playoffs between the Phillies and the Mets to see who takes the East, and Arizona and L.A. would have to do the same out west. My guess would be that the loser of the NY/Philly showdown would nab the wildcard, but I'm back to sucking at math, so I could be wrong. Over in the American League, the other Chicago club would scrape by for the Central title, while Tampa Bay gets the nod in the East, and the Angels have obviously dominated the West for most of the year. Your AL wildcard would unfortunately be that stinking rich team from Beantown. Alright, that was a thrilling exercise. Onward to the games!

Toronto @ Detroit, 12:05 Central: It's cats and birds, birds and cats for BitD's first contest on this fine August day. A battle of right-handers consisting of Jesse Litsch for the visitors and Armando Galaragga for the home team gets underway momentarily, and each of these pitchers seeks to continue improving their fine young careers. Litsch, in his second season, looks to increase the left column of his 8-7 record, and narrow the gap between his Jays and the Yankees, while Galaragga, already having notched 10 wins in this his rookie season, hopes to bring his Tigers closer to .500 ball for the year. Listen in at XM 179, or catch it on the tube: 722 Jays, or 723 for the Tigers feed on DirecTV.

Kansas City @ Chicago, 1:05: Two more AL Central clubs square off this afternoon, and the matchup is Kyle Davies (5-3) versus Lance Broadway. In perhaps the tell-tale symbol of how the Royals typically fare against the White Sox, this will be the second start of Broadway's career (his first of the season); his first was last year against these same Royals, an effort that yielded the youngster six shutout innings and his first and only win. Having struggled this past week against both Stockinged ball teams, KC again finds itself in the AL Central cellar, while the White Sox still hold a half-game first place lead over the Twins. One eighty's your XM number, while DirecTV has it South Side style on 724.

San Francisco @ Houston, 1:05: Kevin Correia takes on Brian Moehler in this NL tilt. The Giants starter has struggled this season gaining only two wins to his six losses, while the 'Stros hurler sits at 8-4. Both clubs find themselves deeper in the middle of their respective division standing than they'd like, but Houston's the winner of seven straight, forever focused on the Cardinals in front of them. This snoozer can be watched (I suppose) on DirecTV 726, or heard on XM 186.

Arizona @ Colorado, 2:05: Now this game's the one to watch. Dan Haren brings his 12-6, 3.00 E.R.A. to the Coors Field mound, where his foe will be the 5-3 Glendon Rusch. The home team took the win last night, in a slugging festival, but the visitors need it badly as they sit tied atop the NL West with ManBerto's Dodgers. It's 1-8-9 time on XM; 727 (D'bags) and 743 (Rockies) over on the DirecTVs.

Milwaukee @ San Diego, 2:35: This, another pitcher's match, gets going out in the Whale's Vagina this afternoon, and features Ben Sheets and Jake Peavy. Sheets' 11-5 record trumps Peavy's 8-8, but both tossers have kept their E.R.A.s under three thus far. San Diego continues to play really bad baseball while the Brew Crew only has three and-a-half games separating them and the NL Central-leading Cubs. XM broadcasts it on 187, while DirecTV does the same on channel 729.

Tampa Bay @ Oakland, 2:35: Another battle of righties closes the BitD slate today out in the Bay area, when James Shields represents the visiting team, Sean Gallagher the home. The Rays will need to continue their winning ways (7-3 in their last 10) if they want to keep the Red Sox off their heels, and that task will be a bit more difficult now with Carl Crawford headed to the DL. Oakland, however, sits 20 games back of those stifling Angels from Los Anaheim, and so they're just really collecting their checks. Speaking of the A's, I caught InFocus last night, and it featured the late 80s A's, and how they were constructed. The main point of the piece was how their club featuring the Bash Brothers and Dennis Eckersley, et al, is now historically overlooked, with which I concurred. It never really occurred to me that they'd been in three consecutive World Series twice: 1972-74, and 1988-90. Anyway, for more overlooked Oakland baseball, dial in your XM gadget to 182 for today's match, or do so on DirecTV, right around 728.

Those are today's games, y'all. Time in, tune in, and turn out.

(Update: It occurred to me post-publication that Old No. 7 had taken on BitD today as well. I blame two things: Our non-existent Managing Editor, and the ultra-competitive vibe between the two of us this week, as I'm secretly destroying Seven in Fantasy Baseball. Hoo-wah!)
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Vernon Gholston is Using Steroids. Repeat.

Vernon Gholston ran a 4.67 at the combine with a 35.5 vertical leap. That's pretty good, yes? A couple of days ago, at Ohio State's Pro Day, he ran a 4.58 40 and jumped 42 inches in the air. 42 inches!

(For those of you who've read Peter Schrager's bit on Fox Sports and noticed a certain similarity of opinion, drop your clubs and douse the torches. Not done yet.)

That's even better. So much better, actually, that there's gotta be something else going on.

Other writers may dance around the subject, but we here at the HoG don't mince words. Or meat. Or pies. Or any combo thereof. We keep the talk straight as the whiskey. Thus, we logically arrive at steroids.

Or HGH. Or south Russian camel fertility potions. Lox with milk and butter and Stanozolol. Whatever it was, Vern did it. How the fuck else do you knock a full second off your 40 time in two weeks? And gain 7 inches on your high jump?

Stinks to high heaven, but hey--the guy was Big 10 Defensive Player of the Year, and if he drops to #12, you'd best believe I'd be hollering for the Broncos to snatch him and his box of chemicals. Not that it'll happen--this recent bit of obvious drug use has helped raise Gholston's stock to the position where a buncha doucheboxes think he might have to worry about being drafted into Parcells' Miami loser mafia.



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Municipal Bonds Stadium

It's a pet peeve of mine when people whine about the economic disparity in baseball as an excuse as to why one particular team sucks. Is the system fair? Of course not. Do teams like the Yankees, Dodgers, Cubs and yes, Red Sox have big advantages when it comes to constructing a roster? Absolutely. But low-revenue teams can still compete if they're smart, resourceful and take a few chances.

This is why the Kansas City Royals should sign Barry Bonds.

This post will get two responses in the Comments. One will be that folks are unaware Kansas City still had pro sports teams. That's very funny. The other will be Royals fans howling that they'd never want an asshole bum cheater like Bonds on their team. That's very dumb.

Look at the Mitchell Report, and you'll see a litany of current and former Royals: Juan Gonzalez, Jason Grimsley, Gregg Zaun, Paul Byrd, and your shiny new free agent acquisition Jose Guillen. Your team has been as dirty as any other in the Steroid Era (and well before, actually), so what's the harm of adding a bat that can help the club and sell a few tickets?

Barry needs to play in the AL, so we're not forced to watch him gimp around left field anymore. It's best that he go to a noncontender, as his presence would create a huge circus on a team that was actually covered by the press. And the fact is that he can still play--if he can stay healthy (again, here's where the DH thing is big) he's a lock for 35 jacks and an OPS over 1.

Best of all, Kansas City, Barry's pariah status is what actually makes him attainable. If he weren't such a prick and under indictment, he'd already have a job. But that lack of a job market allows you to sign him for a very reasonable deal, far south of $10 million. Peanuts. He'll get his 3000th hit in your uniform and give Joe Posnanski about ten years worth of material. Win-win.

Now the only team I've heard even remotely connected to interest in Barry is Tampa, for all of the same reasons. On the radio the other day, Orestes Destrade dropped KC into that discussion. It makes a ton of sense, which is precisely why it will surely never happen. Read more

I'm Just A Bill

Well, kids, now that the writers' strike is over I suppose it's time to get back to work at this here HoG farm. Now I'm not a union member per se, but I don't cross picket lines.

So Bankmeister, you can quit bugging me and harassing my family. Just because you are a slave to the cold, hard steel of commerce and have no respect for the solidarity of my brethren doesn't mean you can insult me like that. I have feelings and emotions and...hey look the Chiefs went 4-12!

We are, of course, in the doldrums of the sports calendar. We could pay attention to college hoops, but then again we could take sandpaper to our nuts. They both kind of suck. The only event that is even remotely compelling is the presidential race, but this is not a political blog. Here we talk sports, not government, except on those rare occasions when the two collide.

The other day I visited a little Colorado town called Manassa. It's kind of out of the way, and while I've been within 40 miles of the place dozen of times, I've never actually made the final trek. On Monday, though, my travels took me to within a stone's throw, and I had to check it out.

Manassa is tiny, one of the smallest towns you'll ever see. But a world heavyweight champion (Jack Dempsey, the Manassa Mauler) was born there, and two current U.S. Congressman (Senator Ken Salazar and Representative John Salazar) grew up there. When Cecil, Bank and I were matriculating at The Fort Lewis College we used to drink at a bar that once hosted a Dempsey fight. His mural was on the wall outside, splattered with Cecil's chunks (kid can't hold his whisky). Years later, I got plowed at that same bar with a staffer on Ken Salazar's campaign, all while conducting the world's most awful fantasy basketball draft via cell phone. I think I picked Mike Dunleavy Jr. in the second round.

Anyway, the mashing together of Manassa's sports history and political history makes no sense, it's just a coincidence. Just like Rocket's appearance on Capitol Hill makes no sense. It made everyone look like a moron. I know nothing about the law, but I know more about Rocket's case and certainly more about Rocket than these doofus congressmen. Half of them were there to fellate him, and the other half were there just to look tough on TV. On the fellating and looking-tough fronts, it reminded me of this show.

I didn't watch the hearings, but this one element did stick out: If you are to believe Rocket, his best friend, personal trainer and wife were all injecting each other with illegal performance enhancing drugs. They've all admitted it. They shot up in Rocket's house and locker room. He claims that he wasn't there, that he never saw it happen, and that he's clean. The trainer injected him with legal vitamins, and everyone else with dope, but Rocket is clean. And these congressmen sat there and ingested this crap, never calling him on his blatant bullshit.

If you're going to create this circus, and go through the pretense of putting a blatant drug abuser under oath, you may want to ask him some questions that will pinpoint his arrogant deceitfulness. I'm no lawyer, but I watch an episode of Magnum P.I. last night. Now that was a moustache you could set a watch to.

And here, for no reason whatsoever, is a chick getting ready to jam two balls in one hole. It is Wednesday, after all. Enjoy!

Update: I forgot to mention this, but the funniest part of this whole deal has been the shit with Rocket's wife. She let McNamee shoot her up just before her SI bikini shoot, which resulted in the centerpiece photo of my last post before I went on strike. So what I'm saying is, I inadvertently broke that story. Send any Pulitzers to HoG World Headquarters, Kansas City MO.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 8-15-07

The theme for today's docket of big-league games is the American League wild card. So let's hear it for the Commissioner, who instituted the wild card back in 1995. It was totally his idea, too. The fact that it existed in every other professional sport was purely a coincidence, because this was a wild card for baseball. Completely original.

Anyway, the first games get underway at 11:05 Mountain and have a bevy of playoff implications. With forty-something games to play, every division race is tight. Boston's come-from-behind win last night gave the Sox a five-game cushion in the AL East, and that's the biggest lead in baseball.

Those Red Sox and D'Rays renew hostilities today at Fenway, with Andy Sonnanstine and Daisuke Matsuzaka toeing the slab. Although these are both rookie pitchers, they're worlds apart. Dice has dominated the league in spurts this year, cost his team over $100 million in contracts and negotiating fees, and is a worldly gentlemen. Andy was called up from Triple-A Durham, North Carolina a few weeks ago and is looking for a job in baseball. Join the fun on XM 176 and DTV 735.

Even though they still trail the Red Sox in the East, the New York Yankees are maintaining their torrid second-half pace. The share the wild-card lead with surprising Seattle, and today send phenom Philip Hughes against the Orioles. Although Baltimore is 11 1/2 back in the wild card race, their improved play of late has saved manager Dave Trembley's job, at least for now. And don't forget that since Los Anaheim moved to Angeles, the Orioles are always lead the American League, at least alphabetically.

Erik Bedard, who leads the majors in strikeouts and may just win himself a Cy Young award if he's not careful, gets the nod from the O's, on XM 176 and DTV 735.

At 2:35, the Twins and Mariners get together at Safeco, on XM 179 and DTV 736. While Seattle starts the day percentage points ahead of the Yankees in the wild card standings, Minnesota lurks at 8 back and desperate. So desperate, in fact, they may trade for Michael Piazza. Holy smokes, that's reaching. Scott Baker, who may some day be great, matches wits with Jarrod Washburn, who we once thought might some day be great.

That picture, by the way, is of ex-major leaguer Jose Offerman trying to kill someone with a baseball bat. Cheers!
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