Pickin' & Grinnin': Week Eight, I Think
This week there are quite a few lines I like, as opposed to the colossal piles of shit we've been subjected to over the past month. But just because I like a spread doesn't mean I'm exposing it to the hard-earned Benjamin Cheese. For that, my friend, I have to fall in love.
By the way, the move to the Cheese was a roaring success last week. We went 4-1, with the only blemish the Steelers loss that saved the Broncos' season. Feel free to check the archives to compile a season aggregate, because I'm not going to. There's continental breakfast to be had, jackass. The picks...
No team is harder to figure out on a week-to-week basis than the Panthers. But this week they host the Colts, who are easy to comprehend. They'll win, and they'll cover the seven and a half. The Pick: Colts -7 1/2
Pittsburgh played slightly beneath their capabilities at Invesco last week and they'll bounce back against the awful Bengals. This line makes me think I've missed some big news, like Big Ben and Coach Epps got arrested in an undercover child sodomy sting. One can only dream. The Pick: Steelers -4 1/2
Dog time: I don't care if Jay Alves is playing quarterback for the Jags (obscure Rockies ticket fiasco reference), they're not losing to Tampa today. Take the points, take the money line (+170), take the rent money and take that shit to the bank. The Pick: Jaguars +4
I'm sure everyone has heard this amazing, amazing bit o' trivia. Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, on a collision course for an epic war of undefeated football morality next Sunday, have both defeated 30 NFL teams. They both face off today against the one franchise other than their own that they've never bested: Peyton gets the Panthers while Brady gets the Skins. Anyway, enough with the Chris Berman jabber-jabber. I know that the Patriots have covered even the most ludicrous spreads this season. And I know they're the most focused team in the history of this game we call football. But I've got a feeling, a feeling originating deep within my scrotum, that Washington will give them a game today. Not win, but scare these Masshole death merchants. The Pick: Redskins +16 1/2
And finally we have the Monday Nighter from Denver. It's looking more and more like this game will run minus crosstown baseball competition, but nonetheless it's still battle of two overrated teams with big issues. I will halfheartedly endorse the visitors from Green Bay, on the premise that...who am I kidding I just love betting against this particular Shanahan team. And if they should once again defy my expectations and win this game, I will once again weep with the emotion of a first time father, unless I'm watching the World Series instead. The Pick: Packers +3
1 comments:
Dude, you better nut your Broncos fandom the fuck on up. Share some of that "my team (is about to/just won) the World Series" mojo with your kinda local 11.
I know you're growing older and the pastoral lure of the summer game exerts ever more hold on your attentions, but it's autumn. You're about to take a trip to a little place called Arrowhead stadium. I need overwrought praise of Brandon Stokley and Alvin McKinley. I need hopes and dreams, not the mortgage payment.
Come on, now. Get your big foam finger on.
(And after that, find of those novelty "We're No. 1!" things you see at games.)
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