Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Baseball In The Daytime: May 20, 2009

Wednesday brings us an oddly-timed midafternoon businessman's special in the bigs. The Snakes and the Fish are dueling, which would seem to be a big mismatch depending on the venue. On land, the Diamondbacks have a huge edge. Underwater, the Marlins would coast to victory. Perhaps they can play in pudding. I like butterscotch.

This game will not take place in tapioca, but a big ol' football stadium in South Florida. It's the first leg of a doubleheader, a doubleheader that's necessary because it rains approximately every day in Miami during the summer. If city brass were sly, they'd build a stadium with a roof--but that would make for the dreaded dome arrangement they have in Tampa. Everyone hates that, too sterile. What's the solution?

Hey, they found it! A retractable roof park on the site of the demolished Orange Bowl. Everybody wins, except the poor taxpayer required to foot the $500 million bill for a new field for a team that draws 600 fans a night. For now, though, you'll have to advance past the jump for news about today's game...

Arizona @ Florida, 3:10 Mountain Lots of seamheads raised a collective eyebrow when the D'Bags canned Doug Melvin and hired A.J. Hinch, because Hinch has never managed anything. Not even a slow-pitch softball team, or a Quizno's. Those doubters have been silenced, however, because Hinch has been far, far more inept than anyone imagined. He routinely only puts seven guys on his lineup card, and last week he attempted a double switch with a bag of sunflower seeds. One of his pitchers, Doug Davis, openly lambasted Hinch's decision to pull him from Davis' last start.

So who starts today for Hinch's bags? Doug Davis! Man, this is gonna be super-awkward if DD gets lit up by Florida. The Marlins send Chris Volstad out for the top of the first, and none of this matters because it will almost certainly rain again. Play Ball, maybe!