Hunkerin' Down

There's no day baseball today, but we do kick off a number of important series in the majors. For a more complete rundown of what's going on all across MLB, including an excellent analysis of the Royals' recent hot play and trading-deadline decisions and some news about Barry and A-Rod's special balls, check out, as always, Buster.

ATLANTA @ SAN FRANCISCO (4 GAMES)

Sure, you're being overwhelmed with Barry crap right now, but it's not every day that someone passes Hank Aaron. The Giants have rigged Barry's playing time in order to let the beast get his record in San Francisco, and now AT&T Park welcomes its genetic freak home for seven days of delirium. I think we're all hoping we can just get this over with sooner rather than later, and the first episode goes down tonight at 8 Mountain on ESPN2.

The Braves are quietly hanging around in the NL East race at 3 1/2 back, as the Mets still can't put either Atlanta or Philadelphia away. Smoltz pitches tonight, and Barry has eight jacks against him in his career, and blah blah blah...Joe Morgan can fill you in on all this shit later.

BOSTON @ CLEVELAND (4 GAMES)

Two of the better teams in the American League hunker down for a scrum at Jacobs Field, starting tonight at 5 on ESPN2. The Red Sox are embarking on their most difficult stretch of the second half, as their next six series are at Cleveland, at Tampa, home vs. Baltimore, at Seattle, at Los Anaheim, at Baltimore. They get Jon Lester's feel-good story on the mound this evening. He had cancer and blah blah blah...talk to Joe.

Boston is seven and a half up on New York following the Yanks' blistering of the D'Rays over the weekend (45 runs combined on Saturday and Sunday, yo). The Tribe sits a game back of Detroit, who despite dropping a series to Kansas City is still playing lights-out ball. So this series is pretty stinkin' big.

NY YANKEES @ KANSAS CITY (4 GAMES)

Bankmeister informed me this morning that he'll be taking in at least one of these games, which is a good thing. Otherwise I might have had to revoke his access card to the HoG's palatial corporate headquarters in suburban Overland Park. There's a lot happening here, including:

Kansas City's remarkable run (24-19 since June 1) combined with the wretched play of the White Sox has the two teams tied for fourth place. KC has a chance to finish somewhere other than last for the first time since 1896. Wait, did I say 1896? I meant 1896.

The Yankees come in smoking hot (9-3 since the break and 30-17 since June 1) and are clearly back in the postseason picture. In addition to pulling within shouting distance in the East, they're 6 1/2 back of Cleveland in the wild card standings, with only Seattle standing between them and the Indians.

KC doesn't really care who you are or what your record is, as evidenced by their play last week. They strutted into the homes of first-place Boston and first-place Detroit and took two of three from both clubs. These aren't your father's Royals, but they aren't your older brother's version either.

Best of all, tomorrow is some anniversary of George Brett's pine tar home run, and the Royals are running a t-shirt promotion with a powder-blue Old No. 5 smeared in faux pine tar. Bloody brilliant. Now don't fuck it all up, Royals--the nation is watching you in your quest to topple the hated Yankees. Finish the job.

SAN DIEGO @ COLORADO (3 GAMES)

All of their hard work this season has garnered the Colorado Rockies exactly nothing but a chance. They're in the divisional picture at 5 1/2 out of first, and they get the second-place Padres and the first-place Dodgers at Coors all week. If they can win either or both series, they're officially legitimate. Tonight's starters are soft-tossing maestros Greg Maddux and Jeff Francis. One of these guys is a future Hall of Famer and who's fond of Internet chat with underage boys, and the other one is the only professional athlete named "Francis" not to have been labeled "Franchise" at some point in his career. Until tonight. Or maybe not. Read more

Midseason Report: AL East

This is the House of Georges, and this is the HoG’s Midseason Baseball Report. In it we’ll examine each of baseball’s six divisions with a fan of a team in that division.

Today’s selection is the American League East, and our divisional expert is Rustoleum. He's originally from upstate New York, just like me. We both love Syracuse basketball because of it. But when it comes to baseball, we've gone to opposite sides of The Force. Rusto chooses the Evil Empire, while I cheer for the swarthy Jedis of the Rebel Alliance.

Old No. 7: Let's not beat around the bush...what the fuck is wrong with the Yankees? Does Joe Torre still have what it takes to run this team?

Rustoleum: The Yankees have finally had their past greed of selling the future for the present bite them in the ass. All of the past midseason moves to make a playoff run made have caught up with them and their farm is now depleted. There always has to be a nice mix of some young players and vets. The Yankees, other than Robinson Cano and maybe Philip Hughes, don’t look very solid as far as young players go right now. Also a rash of injuries hasn’t exactly helped. Who knows what might have been if they had been healthy from the start?

That said, the Yanks have been at best inconsistent. They have good hitting, shitty pitching or vice versa. One thing for sure, they can’t have another streak like they just came off. Over .650 the rest of the way is really the only shot they have to get in it…and forget catching the Sox.



As far as Torre goes, he absolutely still has it. This is his team and these are his players. I do think that this will be his last year, and then destiny strikes…Don Mattingly. The best Yankee first baseman of my generation takes the reins…too bad he’s been part of zero championships in the big leagues. That could be a bad omen…Joe Giradi is still around and not a very good commentator.

Old No. 7: Moving on to the Red Sox: I'm biased, but they look like they're ready for a run. The rotation is good enough to keep them in games (especially if Curt Schilling comes back healthy at some point) and the lineup is deep even with Julio Lugo, Coco Crisp and J.D. Drew having below-average years. What are the weaknesses of this team? What AL teams could give them the most problems in a potential playoff series?

Rustoleum: Julio Lugo…not good. J.D. Drew…who? At least Coco started turning things around before getting hurt. But that’s really about the only thing you can give the Red Sox any kind of shit about. They have an all around solid team. A good mix of young guys and vets. Any team with Manny (Ramirez) can’t go wrong, he should be due any time to request a trade…and then hit about 40 home runs. And Big Papi is probably my second favorite player in the bigs, as clutch as they come and he will spit in his hands before shaking yours. Youk (Kevin Youkilis) was the biggest snub for the all-star game. The only thing I see stopping this team would be very key injuries or just totally dying at the plate.

Any of the AL playoff teams can play with them, but the Tigers have the best shot, in my opinion, having both solid pitching and hitting. The Angels offense can be inconsistent and the same can be said for the Indians pitching…and they suck on the road. The NL would seemingly be overmatched by any AL team, most of the teams in the running have glaring weaknesses. However, I thought that last year when the Cards made the series and they won it. It is baseball and anything can happen.

Old No. 7: Is baseball better off with or without teams in Florida? Before expansion, I always liked the fact that Florida had Spring Training but no big-league teams. Even though the Marlins have inexplicably won the World Series twice, it always seems like the D'Rays and Marlins are on the verge of falling apart. Their stadiums suck, no one goes to games and they're always threatening to move. Will Tampa ever be a viable baseball market?

Rustoleum: Tampa could be a viable market if the Yankees or the Red Sox played there for all of the D-Rays home games, otherwise their home attendance is a joke. I disagree that the Marlins are on the verge of always falling apart, I think the way that organization is run is vastly underrated. Twice they’ve blown up teams that have won the World Series, yet they always seem to reload and make a run every couple years. I do agree, though, that baseball in Florida should probably go. Tampa has good talent, but they will never be able to hold on to those players without an NFL-like salary cap.

I’ve been in favor of retraction for years. I think MLB should retract six teams and go with six four-team divisions. That would improve teams by subtracting out awful Kansas City pitching and spreading around the good players to other teams. Florida and Tampa are certainly good choices. The Washington Expos are terrible and baseball in the summer in Phoenix is laughable. Toronto doesn’t deserve a team, this is America’s pastime. Canadians have hockey and should keep it to themselves. The final retraction should be Kansas City, frankly the city doesn’t deserve any sports franchise.

Old No. 7: Is Peter Angelos killing the Orioles the same way Dan Snyder is killing the Redskins? You've observed Steinbrenner for many years...how do you feel about a rich, meddlesome owner who'll do anything to win but tends to get in his own way?

Rustoleum: Angelos is a weird owner. You love when your owner is willing to spend money. The Orioles problem is spending money on crappy or washed up players who may or may not be on the juice or speak English. A franchise is only as good as it’s GM and the Orioles have a good one in Andy MacPhail. He’s won championships in Minnesota and done the impossible…getting the Cubbies within five outs and a Bartman away from the world series. Owners would be wiser to sit back and let guys like this do their job, but it’s the owner’s team and he’s free to do what he likes. Their track record as scouts, despite claims to the contrary, are not that good.

Old No. 7: We've taken one franchise away from the Canadians, so why do we still have to deal with the Blue Jays? Should we go to war with Canada? The Jays have a decent collection of talent but have been hammered by injuries this year. What will it take for them to get back to the playoffs in the next five years?

Rustoleum: The Blue Jays best shot of getting to the playoffs would be switching to the National League…or becoming a hockey franchise.

Old No. 7: Which league will have home field in the World Series, and which team will win it?

Rustoleum: The AL clearly has the better roster, but it’s a baseball game that could easily end in a draw. (Editor's Note: That question was asked before last night's All-Star Game) The World Series winner…Yankees in 6.

Old No. 7: Is the American League East the worst division in baseball?

Rustoleum: I don’t know about the worst, but it may be the most overrated. There’s always a lot of hype surrounding the AL East and it certainly hasn’t lived up to its billing. I still think the worst division in baseball is the NL Central. The teams in that division just plain suck, other than the Brewers. The Brewers are a young, inexperienced squad but solid. I don’t know how they will fare come playoff time, but I do think they could be good for years to come. St. Louis is a mess right now, Houston is all over the place, and the Pirates and Reds are really just awful.

Old No. 7: Do you think steroids could have put Don Mattingly and Mark Grace in the Hall of Fame?

Rustoleum: I think with Mattingly, steroids may have helped him from those nagging back injuries. His career stats were pretty good considering he only played over 150 games six times in 14 years: .307 avg, 222 hr, 1099 rbi. Mark Grace also had decent career stats: .303 avg, 173 hr, 1146 rbi. It’s hard to say whether could have helped Gracie all that much. He really wasn’t a home run hitter. Mattingly had three seasons over 30 home runs in his prime, Gracie never hit more than 17. Maybe on the the juice Gracie could have hit 22 jacks, only the baseball writers of America and Victor Conte could tell us the exact number he would have hit.

Old No. 7: Without a salary cap but with revenue sharing, is baseball fair? I know teams like the Yankees and Red Sox have inherent financial advantages over most teams, but if you look at the smart GMs in small markets (like Terry Ryan in Minnesota and Billy Beane in Oakland) and the fact that we've had eight different WS champions in the last eight years, is it fair enough?

Rustoleum: Is it fair…no, but that is the state of baseball today. The big market teams certainly have the advantage of tremendous wealth, great fan bases, and lucrative television contacts. There are certainly the small market teams that have been able to compete and win World Series, but generally it seems to be the same teams and GMs that win. For the casual fan, I could see where that might be a bit boring. Unless baseball decides to go with a hard cap, it will probably never be fair…go Yankees!
Read more

Andy Dufresne, Basic Cable and Charlie Hustle

For those of you with basic cable, or channel surfing tendencies, or both, you know what I mean when I say that "The Shawshank Redemption" is on all of the freaking time. It should be broadcast regularly; it's a damn good flick. As often as it is? Maybe not. Had I known how frequently TNT and TBS and anyone else that airs it would air it as often as they do, I never would've purchased a copy of it so many years ago.







The other night, watching extra innings baseball between the Cardinals and the Royals, my buddy and I were bullshitting.






That Sammy Sosa dude had just hit his 600th homerun, my buddy noted that he'd always thought Ken Griffey would break the record, and we wasted a few seconds talking about Barry Bonds.





And, like I always do about All-Star-Game time of year, I got fired up about the atrocity of Pete Rose's non-existence in Cooperstown.





I'm not writing this post to spark a debate (though opinions and commentary are always ignored cherished). I'm writing to let any and all HoG readers know that from this day forth, I vow, a la, Andy Dufresne, to write one letter to baseball's commissioner on every weekday until The Hit King is unbanned, and in the Hall. Yes. Dufresne wrote one letter every week. I'm going to write one every day.




To those of you who think that's stupid, more power to you. For those that don't and want to send a letter of your own, have at it:





The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball, Allan H. (Bud) Selig, Commissioner, 245 Park Avenue, 31st Floor, New York, NY 10167. Phone: (212) 931-7800.





I wish you the best of luck.

It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. Er, uh -- somebody probably already did, but whatever. My idea's better 'cause it had to do with the movies, and everything that happens on film is possible in real life. Right?

Either way, check back in as I post entirely interesting updates on the changes to the body of said letter.

Update: Follow this link or click on Letters to Bud over under "Sports an' Shit" to keep tabs on my word.

Update: It occurred to my that after occasions in which the United States Postal Service has been closed, Bud's office may very well receive two letters from me in the same day, 'cause I don't take days off (playoffs?!?). Good times for them. Read more

Nobody Likes Me

Sports fans, these are tough times. The landscape of jockhood is littered with stories about assholes, pricks and outright salad-tossers. Read any sports page or catch any talk radio broadcast in America today, and you get nothing but whining bullshit by and about some of the most unlikeable athletes imaginable.

The Rapist wants out of L.A. Actually, no he does not. Which is it? Paper or plastic? I'm the wrong guy to ask, as I follow not the NBA, but Kobe is a great player, not a great guy. Yes, that's an earthshattering revelation.

Ron Mexico is inching ever closer to a criminal indictment, and in the big house he can wager on fights between blind inmates. If you're a Falcons fan this is a big deal. For those of us who don't fondle our first cousins, Mex was on the precipice of marginal status anyway.

San Francisco Outfielder (longtime fantasy baseball owners will get that one) is closing in on Hammerin' Henry. Bud Selig may attend, Barry may donate some paraphernalia to Cooperstown, and everyone wishes we could just get this sad episode behind us.

Our old friend A-Rod is bush-league, and he may or may not have a piece or two on the side. This is only relevant because of his status as the game's most talented player, and has nothing to do with the fact that his team is pathetic. In other Yankee news, I actually heard the ESPN crew last night discuss the possibility of Cashman not activating Rocket and saving the cash, since he's signed to a minor-league contract. Stunning.

Elsewhere in the AL East, the wife of Tampa slugger Elijah Dukes would like a divorce. That's a smart broad.

And Iron Mike is back in the fight game, but his criminal past is infringing upon his plans. I happen to think that Mike would be a great cornerman. He's always been such a rational practitioner of the sweet science, and his decision-making is top-notch.

One of the problems associated with being the most talented and respected writer (Editor's Note: This is not true.) at the best sports blog in the whole fucking world (Ed: Also a blatant lie.) is that our millions of reader(s) expect me to react to this shit. It's not fun. I'd rather write about the good guys, like Yook and his 22-game hit streak. But the big news is the big news, and it makes me want to cover Wall Street today. Hopefully this weekend will bring about some warm and fuzzy sports news, and perhaps a Cecil sighting to boot.

Read more

Only The Horsehide Was White

The last thing I want to do is bump the comedic brilliance of our Weekend Correspondent down the page. But today is April 15, and that is significant. Not because of the IRS, although I hope you jackasses have paid The Man. No, today is the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson’s first game in the bigs, and this event has been typically, nauseatingly overprocessed by the four-letter network.

It wasn’t enough for ESPN to turn the (very cool) NFL Draft into a two-month festival of snores. They then had to create a multimedia assault around the gayness of John Amaechi. ESPN had the publishing rights to Amaechi’s public outing. So they aired dozens of interviews with him, and then took the opportunity to grill every single sports-related figure on Earth about their feelings. Most of the comments were benign and boring, yet LeBron said a few things that made him unpopular in the Bay Area and Tim Hardaway jumped into a pool of burning gasoline. Conveniently, ESPN was there to cover it all, as if it were a random news story.

Now we have the Robinson anniversary. As it so happens, it falls on the same day as ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball, which has already ruined Opening “Day” this season. So we get the Dodgers facing the Padres, interspersed with millions of clips of Jackie, interviews with old black men, and Joe Morgan telling us about the experience (while staying mighty positive).

A few themes that Joe and the Bristol Machine will beat us over the head with today are: A.) How great and noble baseball is for honoring Jackie in this way, B.) The controversy over who’s wearing Jackie’s No. 42, and C.) The dearth of African-Americans in the game today, how much of a tragedy that is, and what we can do to remedy it.

All three of these themes make me puke. First off, it is the height of hypocrisy for Bud Selig to dry-hump the legacy of Jackie Robinson, when he represents the ownership of Major League Baseball. The only thing that kept Negro Leaguers prior to Robinson out of baseball was the ownership of Major League Baseball. And the only reason Robinson and other early black stars were let in, prior to seminal civil rights events such as Brown vs. Board of Education, the Birmingham bus boycott and the Johnson voting rights legislation was a desire to win baseball games. Plain and simple. Branch Rickey was a good man, and he stuck his neck out at a time when doing so had serious repercussions, but the root of his move was to improve the plight of his historically struggling ball club.

Bud Selig is going to pat himself and his fellow owners on the back so hard tonight that he may require Tommy John surgery. What would be more honest would be an acknowledgement that his predecessors artificially created the color barrier. They should use this day to honor Jackie, yes, but also to be publicly accountable for their stance 60 years ago.

At last count over 150 major leaguers will don Robinson’s No. 42 jersey today. This rubs some, like Torii Hunter, the wrong way. Hunter feels that only African-American players should be allowed to wear Jackie’s digits, which is flat bunk. The significance of Robinson’s achievement was that of creating opportunity, an opportunity that now exists for players of every race and nationality. Why wouldn’t an Asian or Dominican player feel the same debt to Robinson that Hunter does? And why couldn’t a white player show the same respect?

In America we tend to break discussions of race strictly long a black-white border. That ignores the fact that Latinos are the fastest growing demographic in the country and that immigrants from every country, race and ethnicity on the planet call this nation home. Most also play baseball, and for Torii Hunter to exclude them from today’s celebration is just plain ignorant.

Finally, we have this tired debate over the dwindling numbers of black players in MLB. Where have they gone? ask the morons. How can we get them back? Where they’ve gone is to other sports, and they’re not coming back. In 1947 baseball was the biggest sport in the country. Jackie Robinson was a baseball star at UCLA, but he also played varsity football, basketball and ran track. If he were a modern athlete, there’s very little chance he would have gone on to play baseball. He was a good enough running back to make the NFL, which is where he’d probably set up shop today.

These days kids who are good athletes are typically not allowed to play multiple sports. They’re pigeonholed early and placed on traveling summer teams. And baseball today is a very regional sport. Look at the top college and high school teams. With very few exceptions, they’re all in the South and West, where they can focus on the sport year-round. I suppose if you’re a black kid in those areas, you may wind up on a track to the big leagues. But if you’re from the Midwest or Northeast, you’ll more likely end up playing football or basketball.

In addition, the decline in African-American players coincides with a huge influx of Latino and Asian ones. The game has never been better, or more internationally diverse. And many of the black players that remain are superstars, and there are even some that are clean. So when Joe Morgan tells you tonight that it was better back in his day, tell him he’s full of shit. The game is fine.

(Update: The Dodgers-Padres game was as bad as I could have ever expected. I think baseball has made an entire generation hate Jackie Robinson now. The best, and by best I mean worst, was the half-inning that Rachel Robinson, Jackie's widow, spent with John and Joe in the boof. Thanks to Padres' pitcher Chris Young's eternal shittiness, she muct have talked for an hour and a half. Painful.)

(Update No. 2: I don't know who it was, because they didn't put his name on the back of his jersey, but No. 42 for the Dodgers was fucking everywhere last night. He stole like ten bases, pitched well and even made some sparkling defensive plays. I need to get that kid on my fantasy team.) Read more

A Morsel of Good in Perpetual Sea of Bad

On my list of things to be done, a preview of The Tradition, and the 2007 Kansas City Chiefs schedule completely trump homework and wedding planning. But they'll have to wait. On the front priority burner simmers some highly deserved props to this man. In case you don't recognize his likeness, he has called baseball games for a little team I like to call the Kansas City Royals since the team's 1969 inception. I'll now pause briefly for each and every one of you to laugh, guffaw, snicker, chuckle, and snort about the debacle that has been this franchise since the '94 strike. Go ahead -- call them AAA, a joke, what have you. I'll be patient. Done? Okay. Good. Let's be serious for a moment, then. My colleague claims that every man loves his hometown guy, his play-by-play man, the voice of his club. And he has, as usual, dry, undercaressed testicles a good point. I totally concur, nor am I an exception to this statement. I will, however, offer that those in the know agree with me when I say that Denny Matthews rules. He knows the game, he knows the teams, he knows numbers like Asians know wontons. And that's been recognized. I know, coveted reader(s), that you are fully capable of following links, and, well, reading. But I'll spare you the labor on this one. Let's talk company.





Vin Scully, Jack Buck, Harry Caray, Joe Garagiola, Bob Uecker. Those names do anything for you? If not, you proably already killed yourself out of boredom prior to completing paragraph one of this post. If so, then you should know that, for Denny Matthews to be honored with the Ford C. Frick award, he must've done something right in the last 38 years. Probably more than once.





And that's really all I have to say about that. Except that we have, pardon the pun, 100% dropped the ball on a little segment we don't like to call "We Are Hot Chicks." We apologize. It will never, evah evah evah evah, happen again, precious reader(s).




Stay tuned for more things you don't care for me to talk about. Read more