Baseball in the Daytime: Six Packs and Kittens

We, the House of Georges staff, love two things: day baseball and pussy. On the rare occasions that we can combine those two things, well, just call it utopian. It's like barbecue on your chicken, relish on your dog. The peculiar thing about the cat on the field at the K last night was all of the running it did. Most cats I know would've just laid down and looked around for something to eat. What we couldn't see from the cameras must've been folks approaching it. It was pretty amazing considering all of the entryways any kind of creature would have to get past to actually make it onto the field at a professional baseball game.

Now, I took in my first T-Bones game a week ago today, and I could've walked in there with firearms clipped to my belt and a bag of cocaine hanging from my neck with 14 cats in tow and nobody would've said a word. Anyway, it's almost lunch time, so let's crack open today's six pack and peep who's on the diamonds across America, just after the jump.

Minnesota @ Cleveland, 11:05 Central: Some good old A.L. Central gets us underway as the 8-5 Nick Blackburn has just delivered his first pitch. The right-hander's E.R.A. is pushing 10 through his last three starts, but not to worry: his righty counterpart today is Fausto Carmona, who has perhaps been the biggest starting-pitcher surprise/disappointment over the last two seasons. Now, he's been hurt, and he plays for Cleveland, but come on. He's 2-6, with a 7.13, and +10 over his last three. Minnesota could use the win, currently three and-a-half back of first-place Detroit. DirecTV would love you to join them on channel 721. XM's more impartial: crank it to 176 if you feel like it.

Florida @ Washington, 11:35: Half an hour later, two more righties'll go at it. In this tilt at Nationals Park, Chris Volstad gets the nod for the visitors while Craig Stammen shows his stuff for the worst team in baseball. Volstad looks for win number nine, which would help the six-games-back Marlins. If the Nats log the W, they'll be under five games away from handing the title to the Royals. Seven twenty-two and 723 are your DTV digits. XM keeps it cool and easy with some 183.

Colorado @ Philadelphia, 12:05: In the city of brotherly steak and cheese, the defending champs look to both help the San Francisco Giants and distance the Florida Marlins. That is, the Colorado Rockies refuse to be put out of the race in the West -- just half a game behind S.F. -- and they're not interested in losing today, either. Aaron Cook's on the mound. He's looking for win number 11, but new Phil Cliff Lee seeks his 10th. I have a feeling these two teams might meet up in the first round of the post-season, but I'll have to check with October-baseball expert Dane Cook to see what his crystal ball reveals. Anyhoo, catch this hot N.L. action on DirecTV 213, or on the fancy MLB.TV. If you're just listening, it's XM 184.

Baltimore @ Detroit, 12:05: Same time, different zone, the Tigers and the O's will grapple for some mid-day ball. Righty Rick Porcello takes the hill for the home team, while righty David Hernandez goes for B'more. Porcello has put together a quietly impressive season, going 9-7, 4.36, especially considering Detroit doesn't exactly score a ton of runs. Hernandez, on the other hand, isn't having a bad rookie campaign himself. He's 3-3 with an E.R.A. just over three, and hoping to give last-place Baltimore another reason to think that they just might turn the corner next year. Catch today's righty-on-righty matchup on DirecTV 724, 725, or put an ear to the play-by-play on XM 177.

Los Anaheim @ Chicago, 1:05 Speaking of run support, Ervin Santana will gladly take two helpings of that in an effort to bury his miserable season thus far. He's been hurt, his E.R.A. is a lofty seven-plus, and he's lost double the starts he's won, all for a team that's four runs shy of plating 600. Jon Danks, however, has cruised to a 9-7 mark with a cool four even in the earned-run-average category. The Angels aren't quite at that sail-on-in-to-the-division-title spot yet, but if they can knock of Danks and the pesky OzzieGuillens today, it'll be one more step in that direction. DirecTV has this one on 727 and 728, while XM says "We like our Anaheims grilled, with some 185 sauce."

Texas @ Oakland, 2:35: Last but not least, it's the club that's chasing the Halos: the Texas Rangers. They're four and-a-half back, a solid 12 wins over .500 and they'll send out righty Tommy Hunter for pitching duty in today's game. The other California team gives Trevor Cahill the nod, and like his teammates, he's got his work cut out for him. The A's do have a three-game winning streak going, but they'll need some good stuff from the 6-10 Cahill today, whose E.R.A. is at five and rising. Hunter's gone 2-1 with an even three over his last three starts, and you can learn more about both of these guys -- like what they look like -- on DirecTV 729, or at least listen about them on XM 178.

And that's a wrap. Another sixer of Thursday ball in the books. Please enjoy your day baseball responsibly.
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Friday Fiction Fix: "Idols"

When we have the opportunity to deliver an installment of this feature, the idea is to typically blend stories, one that's written, one that tells another with images. Today we're making an exception in that the photo-image story is not one, but a series of individual mini-stories, if you will. The author of "Idols," today's piece of fiction, is a guy by the name of Tim Gautreaux, who hails from Louisiana, and has seen his work published in The New Yorker, Harper's, and Atlantic, among others. He has also published two novels, The Next Step in the Dance and The Missing, in addition to a couple short-story collections.



He is the Writer in Residence at Southeastern Louisiana University and has won several awards, including the 2005 John Dos Passos Prize. "Idols" appears in the June 22 issue of The New Yorker.

The story is, in my interpretation, about two men who've set their lives -- or at least the current portion of it -- and every ounce of their will toward achieving one goal. Such determination, one might argue, can be admirable, but there may some details of futility that get in the way. The character from whom we will (mostly)hear is named Obie.

“'Some men can change like a porch lizard switches colors,'



(he) said...'And some cain’t.'”

Obie gives us this gem early in the piece, which, in a sense, gives us the motif via foreshadowing.

“'I know about what a man thinks he needs.'”



"And with this he began unbuttoning his shirt."

By undressing, Obie will reveal something to the other main character, Mr. Smith. Chances of that something being a naked Bar Rafaeli video are slim, but we can all dream, right?

“'Maybe I don’t need ’em no more.



Get a little older, you need less and less.'”

I went to my sixth Royals game last night, and it was absolutely brutal. This team cannot hit, which means it cannot win. Period. The buddy that went with me simply couldn't grasp why I was so disappointed afterwards. He just didn't get it. As an interesting side note, I met Joakim Soria's wife afterwards at a bar. We had a five-minute conversation about where they met, how long they'd been married, etc. I made a comment about a typo on his Twitter page, which went over real well, but we moved past it. We talked about how long they'd dated, Mexicutioner facial hair -- she said she doesn't mind it except for when he's "down there attending to business" -- injuries, and athlete travel. Things were going relatively fine until I asked her what the name of the bar -- she'd already disclosed that they met in one -- in which they met was, and she lost it. She started screaming at me and called me a douche bag, which I found highly original, and tried to throw a drink on me. It was good times. One of my friends, in a fit of sheer sobriety, tried to get in her face, and her friend tried to apologize for her friend's actions, etc. Then my buddy tried to ask the friend (who had already told us she has a live-in boyfriend) out, and, well, like I said, good times. Getting back to our story...

Obie and Mr. Smith talk marriage. Both men have had their share of troubles.

“'Aw, she’s just a woman. Can’t hurt a man unless she buys a gun.'”











What? That last lady didn't have a firearm? Oh. Sorry 'bout that.

Anyway, we find out later that Obie has religion in his life:

“'Save me, O God, for the waters threaten my life;



I am sunk in the abysmal swamp where there is no foothold.'”

Ah. The good old days when the AFC West wasn't the NFL laughing stock, and people weren't wondering if the Raiders might make a run at the division.

There's a third (fairly) major character in the story. His role is crucial for a number of reasons, and he has his opinions on Obie.

“'That boy’s a good worker. I believe he can fix a broke horse.'”



For the purposes of this little vignette, "Obie" is Kansas City Royals Trainer Nick Swartz, who has been, shall we say, discussed a bit recently.

One of the characters finds the path to success, and must relish in it.

“'The old me’s gone. The new me’s got to move on down the road...



...Might be time to sell out.'”

Several months later, and I still can't believe that these two will don new uniforms for real next month.

The character who finds success seeks help from he who has not:

“'I’m sorry, (sir),



but it sounds like things is past fixin’.'”

And we'll wrap it up there. Please follow the pre-jump link and give "Idols" a go without photo/commentary interruption, and if you like it, consider purchasing some of Gatreaux's work here.
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We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: The Closer

Well, kids, it's Wednesday, and you know, as well as I what that means: It's time for more really bad analogizing, topped with a G.C. pic here in the House of Georges. Two weeks ago, we started this trend this trend started itself, and it's one that touches on what might very well be the most important aspect in the game of baseball: pitching.

Our first installment centered on the starting rotation. From there we moved on to middle relief, and today, naturally, we're talking closers. This feature promises two things: 1) to very vaguely pick up on where we left off last week, and 2) not to mention Kyra Sedgwick, 'cause frankly, that would just be obnoxious. So get past the jump, and enjoy, as always, the deep-thought-rooted text about baseball that Bill James, Eric Walker, et al, would die to get their hands on. Literally.

Melissa Mikkelsen



Of all the teams in the bigs, there are a few that roll the dice on who gets the closer label.



I wouldn't say that taking a chance on a young, unproven bullpen ace would hurt your chances for making the post-season,



but if your talent struggles to wrap up easily-sealed deals,



you may want to reconsider.



Like so many folks are already saying: This early, young season,



the games in late April and early May count just as much as the ones in September.

Sonia Wild



This is not to say you can't, or shouldn't go with a youngster as your closer,



but I personally would not.



Instead, I would peg a body that looks good,



a potential closer, if you will,



and then, via your crafty wheelings and dealings,



bring in a proven closer to show the novice the ropes,



and of course, plug your young gun into the set-up role.



Leave your new set-up talent in there, even in situations where you're working from behind,



and you'll find that even the dirtiest of laundry comes out clean in the long run.



Don't believe me? G'head. Roll 'em on out there without any confidence.



See how bare your half of the score card looks in the aftermath.



Even if you start your closer as a partial-innings worker,



stance and delivery can be polished



in the name of preparation for big responsibility.



Be it under the sun at Wrigley or in the evening at Anaheim,



your talent will feel confident looking in the mirror,



knowing that the clubhouse is supporting each move,



that all of the important tools are in place,



that each appearance will be a good fight,



and that no mountain is too big for your now-experienced talent to climb.

There. If that doesn't catch the eye of every big-league skipper, I don't know what will. Thanks to today's sponsor, who provides us with fresh rosin bags for our mounds.
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