Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The T-Hen 1500 Watch: Week One

The T-Hen 1500 Watch is the House of Georges' newest feature, wherein the ChiefsNation third of the HoG will measure the success of Donkey running back Travis Henry. We look back to the illustrious prediction that prognosticated Mr. Henry's certainty of fathering more illegitimate children than Derrick Thomas or anyone else for that matter accumulating 1500 rushing yards in this, the 2007 campaign. Take note that Mr. Henry's ability as an athlete wasn't necessarily questioned in this regard. It was merely suggested as laughable to suspect that he would maintain his ever-questionable health and reach such a feat in this very season behind this very non-cheating Denver Bronco offensive line.

The way this little exercise works is this: We measure the prediction of 1500 yards for the season divided by 16 games. For the less-gifted in the math department (Editor's Note: This includes me), that's roughly 93.75 yards per game. Let it be said, therefore, that should the mark be reached, ChiefsNation will then appropriately commend Mr. Henry and the heretofore unnamed beholder of such great faith in the Volunteer alum that once shared the college backfield with Jamal Lewis.

Week One proved to be a doozy for number 20 as he visited his old dregs and faced the franchise that drafted him. Nary a worry for Daddy-O, though. On 23 carries, T-Hen netted 139 yards, which, in true Marty McFly fashion, gives the 230-pound runner his feet back. For number-crunching purposes of the Watch, T-Hizzy hammered out 10.79% of his likeness. We should not forget either, his three catches for 44 yards, giving him a total of 183 on the day. Drop by next week to see how Daddy Dearest fares in his home-opener against a run defense better than the Buffalo Bills. Oh, wait. That's everyone in the league except the Giants.


The Lone Reader said...

What the hell is the stay-puff marshmellow man doing on the HoG?

dylanebrown said...

As much as I wish the T-Hen meteoric stomp to 1500 to succeed and allow you to display your new photoshop skills, I must feverishly root against it. His magic number of necessary yards per game has gone down. The magic number has dropped to 90.73 from 93.75. If we are to have any credibility around these parts, we gots to get the number down.
Team chop-block plays in Denver for a few weeks and then to Indy. Do we know any of the softer sex that could help us out with T.H.'s "liability"?
Besides, I think a bone may be thrown our way, courtesy of the Belicheat scandal. Look for a stronger lens on the NFL sidelines and a likely decrease in "Shennanihans."

dylanebrown said...

writing is hard...
correction for above: we gots to get that number UP..

bankmeister said...

As I said, that was an average for a 16-game schedule. Relax. It'll be updated each week, but yes. We gots to get that number up.