Down To The Deadline

So we sit an hour away from the non-waiver trading deadline in Major League Baseball, and I have to admit: this is pretty damned exciting for a nerd like me. The only blockbuster deal so far was yesterday's exchange that sent Mark Tex-her-ea to the Braves, but there's a lot cooking on this stove right now.

I'm sitting in a bar, stealing a wireless signal, and watching the closed captioning on a tiny TV. It's like old times again. I'm very surprised to announce that television is kicking the Interwebs' asses right now in terms of giving me frivolous trade rumors. And in another blatant shocker, ESPN is leading the way. They've handily shut down the network and given the keys to studio host Karl Ravech. We're getting regular dispatches from Gammons and Buster, which are masterful. Their unfiltered excellence is, of course, balanced by the unmatched stupidity of Steve Phillips. God damn it I hate that fucker. He's horrible. He makes John Kruk and Eric Young look like Branch Rickey and Vin Scully.

Anyway, the most interesting potential moves deal with relievers. Octavio Dotel is all but a Brave, reportedly in exchange for starter Kyle Davies. I think that's actually a pretty sweet pickup for the Royals. Davies is nothing special, but he can eat up some innings and he's young and cheap.

Folks are talking about Chad Cordero maybe heading to the Mets. Everybody needs starting pitching, and nothing is out there, so when the A's dangle Joe Blanton and the White Sox field offers for Jon Garland, the shit gets frenzied.

Two of the biggest names floating about are Eric Gagne and Jermaine Dye, and the odds-on favorites to get both, amazingly, are the Red Sox. It might meaning parting with such promising young relievers as Manny Delcarmen and Craig Hansen, low-ceiling starter Kason Gabbard and/or strikeout machine Wily Mo Pena. Fucking. Do it. The idea of former Cy Young winner Gagne as a setup man to Papelbon and former World Series MVP Dye as the fourth outfielder creates wood in my short pants.

Update: ESPN has shit-canned the excellent trade deadline programming and replaced it with some Jeremy Schapp Outside The Lines hooey. Because every baseball fan is more interested in further discussion of Barry Bonds and steroids than things that might actually affect this season's pennant races. Jackasses.