Monday, September 17, 2007

Mikey and His Donkeys Continue Shanahananigans, Get 'W'

Last year, for the Broncos' home opener, Old No. 7 and I -- in true Tradition fashion -- retreated from our upper-level seats as the week-two contest between Denver and the Chiefs went to overtime. The game, in total, had been a bit of a mindf**k, as both clubs seemed destined to play a ground-control, clock-eating, smashmouth type of football game. At the end of regulation, our clubs, both 0-1, eyed a scoreboard that lacked any touchdowns; the match was set at six a piece. Surprise was a common element to this game, as Damon Huard, in his first NFL start in six years, had looked poised in the pocket, Jason Elam had missed a rare field goal, and the Chiefs had shut out the Broncos in the first half. Week two of the 2007 campaign looked a little different for the Chiefs as they stared defeat square in the eyes during the waning fourth-quarter moments of yesterday's game against Chicago at Soldier Field. Not so much, though, for the Broncos.

For the second consecutive week, the Broncos, despite impressive total yardage numbers had mustered a point total that didn't match their offensive output. Another week-two division rival, this time young Lane Kiffin's Raiders, held the Broncos notched at a tie score. Only this time, the winners of the coin toss aimed to put this Michael Vick castoff of a dog, out of its misery.

Make no mistake, Sebastian Janikowski is a weird dude. He's also a pretty decent field goal kicker. His overtime/game-winning numbers are no special feat, but little pressure has been placed on any member of the silver and black in recent memory, so why wouldn't he nail a GW 52-yarder in the Mile High city? He would. And he did. Game over. Raiders 23, Broncos 20. But wait. Stop the presses.

Your final score from AmVesCoCap: Denver 23, Oakland 20. Huh? How'd that happen? I'll tell you how.

Mike Shanahan has never needed to give football fans any more reasons than he already has given to further the case against him that he is a weaselly, conniving manipulator of the rules who will stop at nothing to giving his team the advantage -- rule book or not --, but that doesn't stop him from giving them. In a week filled with finger pointing and allegations, Denver's head coach pulls the trigger on a violation of integrity no worse than anything that has come out of Foxboro in the last seven days.

Hold your horses, Bronco Nation. I know. We all want to win. We'll do anything we can to scrap and fight for a W each and every week. The difference is, that we do it within the confines of the way the game is set up to be played. Sure. I'll agree. The overtime formula sucks. It's a rotten feeling to watch your opponent line up for an OT game winner when your offense hasn't even touched the ball. But you know what? Those are the chips and sometimes you have to just let them fall.

What Shanahan got away with on Sunday is universes removed from icing the kicker. Ultimately, he nullified the play that cost him the game because, as I'm sure lovers of all things predominantly orange will say, he was "wise" enough to call that time out -- the seconds of which his club did not even use for strategical/recuperation purposes -- at just the right moment. There's another word for tactics like that. It's been thrown around a lot in the last quarter month. Maybe you've heard of it. It's called "cheating."

That's right. I said it. What? You don't like that one? Fine. How about the one the Associated Press is using in its headlines today? Skullduggery. Never heard of it? Allow me.

skull*dug*egery, n. dishonorable or deceitful behavior.

That's what the ol' dictionary says. Know what else? I look up "cheating" in the thesaurus, and that entry goes a little something like this:

cheating, n. lying, defrauding, deceiving; see DECEPTION, DISHONESTY.

Just like that, caps and all.

What Mike Shanahan pulled in overtime on Sunday is dishonorable and deceitful behavior, a topic about which he's well on the way to writing a best-selling novel. I'm aware that Janikowski doinked his "second attempt." That's all part of the ingenious plan, right? And yes, it would've been poetic justice for him to drain it, or for the Raiders to confine Jay Cutler and Travis Henry on the ensuing possession and neither one of those things happened. So chalk one up for the gipper. Hoot. Holler. Honk your horn. The Broncos have respectfully put themselves in first place in the AFC West. Good times.

5 comments:

dylanebrown said...

Bank,
Good stuff. A couple gallons of gasoline on a crackly, dried-up pile of wood. Anyone got a match?
I got one... how bout the rest of the team? Especially captain or at least team leader, John "lead with the head" Lynch. Jumpin' around on the sidelines, making "t's" like he's trying to reverse Bush v. Gore, or something?
Which unfortunately leads us to the new joke..
How many Denver Broncos does it take to call a time out?
Answer: Fuckin' all of 'em.
Commence flame war.
DfromKC

The Lone Reader said...

Good stuff B-meister,

Shanahandjob is a dirty bastard ... always has been ... one hell of a coach thought.

I by no means encourage his classless, petty attempt at
"coaching" his way to victory this week, but it is a FAR cry from Belicheat's infractions. It is even a farther CRY from Goodell's pathetic inadequacy, as well.

It is pathetic and cheap, yes. Outlandish dismissal of the rules and disprespect for the league and commissioner, no.

You just can't lump this into the same category. Belicheat's blatant disrespect for his very livelihood was echoed last night by the mockery so proudly displayed by New England fans last night. Their jest regarding his blatant rule-breaking is a result of Goodell's impotent attempt to "punish" the Patriots organization. Because they do not feel the effects of their organization's misdeeds immediately, they can revel in "gettin' away with it."

The organization's overall arrogance shined even brighter when Robert "Alberto Gonzales" Kraft denied any knowledge of the events during his halftime interview. Really, fuckface, why not suspend your asshole coach then you money-grubbing sack of shit.

Anyway, Shanahandjob certainly sucks, but he is NO Bill Belicheat.

Well done, B.

-- TLR

Hallux Valgus said...

I'd like to echo Commish CH from another blog- what if Sea Bass had missed the first and hit the second? He'd be a moron. It was gamesmanship, pure and simple, and a calculated risk- as soon as the first attempt goes up, Janicrackhead's mind goes to the post game buffet, I promise you.

Cecil said...

Exactly. Since when is calling a timeout before the kick cheating? Bank, you're losing your mind.

But I suppose we should expect that kinda loser talk coming out of KC these days. When we drop by the Head in November, rest assured our gang of nefarious sportsmen will enact a 3-D display of their footballing legerdemain.

legerdemain \lej-ur-duh-MAIN\, noun:
1. Sleight of hand.
2. A display of skill, trickery, or artful deception.

Cecil said...

Oh, and then we have this, courtesy of profootballtalk.com:

Jay Glazer of FOX just played a portion of the video that was shot last Sunday by Pats employee Matt Estrella. The tape shows that Estrella was clearly taping the Jets' defensive signals before a play, and then panning the camera to the scoreboard, capturing the down and distance.

Reacting to the images, former Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson declared: "This is exactly how I was told to do it 18 years ago by a KANSAS CITY CHIEFS scout. . . . I tried it, I didn't think it helped us." Johnson also admitted to going through the trash in the press box to look for any notes that opposing coaches discarded.

Howie Long and Terry Bradshaw then debated the outcry regarding the fact that the Pats were caught in the act. Long thinks everyone is cheating or trying to cheat; Bradshaw argued that the fact that Belichick got caught makes the punishment and criticism fair.