Tradition Tuesday: Your Token Division Preview, the 2008 San Diego Chargers

Every once in a while we stray from the rough focus of this blog, which is the rivalry between the Denver Broncos and the Kansas City Chiefs, to examine a topic that is not necessarily about either my coveted red-and-gold club, or Cec' and 7's orange and blue, but at least closely related. Today we bring the final installment of this previewing-the-AFC West segment of "Tradition Tuesday," and we couldn't be happier to put it to bed, and get back to being full-time homers. Insert stupid saying about tough jobs and having to do it...

In an effort to be fair, I suppose we have to dedicate a post to A.J. Smith, Norv Turner, and Philip fucking Rivers. Boy, talk about the three stooges. But, we've talked about Oakland, Denver, and Kansas City, so it is only our duty to examine, if even briefly, your two-time defending AFC West champions. Since I pay exactly zero attention to this team when they're not playing the Chiefs or Broncos, I know next to nothing about them, or what experts are saying about them, or how they fared in this year's draft, etc. I'm simply going to run through their schedule, and predict. So all you people that only come to this site because you Google image-searched some titties, and don't read these words anyway, can piss off.

Alright. The alleged toughest team in the division opens the season at home against the Carolina Panthers. What. The fuck. Obviously the win that game. In what seems like ages ago, I mentioned that the Chargers would then storm the Rocky Mountains, and deliver another ass spelunking to the Donkeys. This leaves the Bolts feeling tough, feeling cocky, somewhat craving a bowl full of warm steroids.

And it should. Know why? Because then they go to the friendly confines of their own home stadium again, and host the Jets. Give me. A freaking break, that's the easiest 3-0 in NFL history, I think.

Nevertheless, back-to-back road games are up next. Don't scratch your Beamer, though, SoCal. One's in Oakland, the other in Miami. So, yeah. You go ahead and chalk up the mental 5-0. I dare you. I also am here to tell you: it ain't happenin'. That's right. The Chargers beat the Raiders so badly, but make the mistake of looking beyond the Dolphins, who actually show up amped for this contest, and stun the Super Chargers with their first loss...4-1, sluts.

That really jars things around Qualcomm, especially given that the next match is at home against those hated Patriots. How do you call this one? Easy, really. In the early goings it appears to be somewhat of a dog fight: two pretty darn good offenses working precisely to put a couple touchdowns and a field goal up on two really tough defenses. Then then the wheels come off for San Diego. The Patriots keep coming, and the Chargers can't keep answering. Pretty soon, it's out of reach, New England has won, and the Chargers are 4-2 (Editor's Note: I'm not a Pats fan, though I have been won in the past. Nor do I sit around thinking about how good they may or may not be. I just think they'll really get up for this one.).

It'll be San Diego's turn to hit the opposite side of the country the following week, as they'll stop in at Ralph Wilson Stadium to mop up the Bills, just before they hit the other side of the Atlantic, for a contest against the Saints in London. Odd. Just so freaking odd. London? I mean, really. London? Since when do wankers dig on American football? Whatever. The stupid Chargers embarrass New Orleans in freaking England, and improve to 6-2 before that precious week eight bye slot.

After the week off, they're feeling good, feeling pumped about hosting the Chiefs, and they should, 'cause they win. Seven-two is a pretty sweet spot to be sitting at in mid-November, especially when Denver and Oakland are 5-4, and Kansas City appears to be right in the mix at 4-5. So what happens next? They go to Pittsburgh, where the Steelers are still trying to find themselves, and they've found just enough to knock San Diego back on its heels for a week, leaving them 7-3, which'd be fine if the following week wasn't a home game against the Colts. Colts-Bolts week is always interesting, as the contest in unpredictable, regardless of where it's played. Peyton and company really seem poised to notch the win here all afternoon, until they ease up just a tiny bit, and let San Diego back in for a late-rally victory. What a shame. Really. Nobody wants to see the Chargers at 8-3. Nobody. Even those viscious Chargers fans are like, "Hey, we gotta spread some of these wins around, guys. You know. Make it fair and even."

Atlanta comes to town the following week, though, so that ain't happenin' any time soon. And look: Oakland rolls in the following Thursday evening for the Chargers' third home game in a row? Who's fucking writing this shit? The Spanos family with a little help from the Goodells? Jesus H. Ten and three these guys are.

It's challenge time though. Or not. San Diego hits the road for a match with the Chiefs at Arrowhead. This game serves two purposes: clinching a post-season spot for the Bolts, and sealing the fate of a sub-.500 campaign for KC. Good times. Next it's Bolts at Bucs, which could be a pretty darn good game. Gruden kids seem to play tough for the tougher teams, so I'm sure they'll show up, especially for this late-season home tilt. In fact, I bet they win, humbling the Chargers to 11-4, just before they wrap the season with a home victory against the Broncos.

Yeah. I don't like to admit it, but that's how it looks from da' boof, Denver. The Chargers take the division for the third straight year with a 12-4 record, courtesy of the Betty Crockerest schedule I've ever seen, and the Broncos sit right there at 10-6, a certain wildcard possibility, but I kinda doubt it. As we all know, there're a lot of good teams in the ol' AFC. And at least this year (Note: And last), it's too bad the Chiefs ain't one of 'em.