Baseball In The Daytime: 8-14-08

We've been served a heaping helping of day baseball, so I won't dilly-dally too much. If you are among the sick, lame and/or lazy, if you are a housewife, midwife or silverfish, if you are a college student, drunk or dope fiend, or if you're sick of watching fencing, check out a ballgame.

To find those ballgames, hop over the chalk...

Toronto @ Detroit, 11:05 Mountain MLB's only Canadian team invades MLB's only city perched on the US/Canadia border in a vivid demonstration of nationalist fervor. Spectators will keep an eye out for Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick at the game, wondering if watching this team from the Great White North will be a violation of his probation, like his last trip to the country was. Kwame's pulling for Tiger pitcher Armando Galarraga, who starts against the Jays' Jesse Litsch.

Kansas City @ Chicago White Sox, 12:05 It's Earth Day at US Cellular Field Today, as both clubs trot out recycled starters and try to pass them off for shiny new objects. For the visitors, it Braves castoff Kyle Davies. The home team went deep into the rubbish bin for the dashingly named Lance Broadway. Lance was the Pale Hose' first round pick in '05 but has bummed around in the minors and developed somewhat of a bust label. Let's see if he can't find some of that old Broadway magic against the punchless Royals lineup.

San Francisco @ Houston, 12:05 The Astros are sort of, kind of hanging around, eight and a half games out of the wild card at press time. I'm pretty sure they'd be leading the NL West, let's put it that way. Today they marshall the forces of Brian Moehler, who's been on a bit of a tear. Your Giants' starter is Kevin Correia, who should just change his name to Kevin Korea and make life easier for hacks like me.

Arizona @ Colorado, 1:05 At one point, Dan Haren went by Danny. Then, like all men should, he dropped the kiddie handle and turned into a Cy Young-caliber ace. Watch him mow down Glendon Rusch and the miserable Rockies at Coors today. Or, go wash your car. See if I give a fuck what you do.

Tampa @ Oakland, 1:35 The football team that plays at this park--Network Associates Coliseum, I think they're calling it these days--battled the baseball team that plays in the Tampa area in Super Bowl XXXVII. The Bucs hammered the Raiders that glorious day, and the A's try to extract their revenge this afternoon. Sean Gallagher gets the task, while James Shields attempts to thwart that stuff.

Milwaukee @ San Diego, 1:35 Finally, we get a genuine fan-fucking-tastic pitching showdown at Petco. Ben Sheets versus Jake Peavy is probably the best BITD duel we've seen this year, or at least that I can remember. Of course, I can't remember anything, so we could have had dozens of matchups as good or better than Sheets/Peavy this season. The smack will do that to a guy's brain. Find a clean syringe and go Play Ball!