Now it Can Be Told: John Lynch Sucks

And so it happened. Just as I expected/kinda predicted, John Lynch signed with another team to play almost the exact same minutes he would have here.

The All-Time Bronco Punkass Hall of Fame now has a bust to set next to Eddie Kennison, and it's carved in Lynch's likeness.

The guy made a quiet stink in the media, was the one that complained about the Cowboys' blitzing in last year's preseason game, hasn't had an interception since '05, dropped off dramatically last year as a tackler, got burned more often than teenager asses at Water World, was somehow mysteriously invited back as a situational player and then, rather than play the limited role to which he agreed for the team that was giving his old self a chance, out of nowhere decides that the situation just "doesn't feel right"?

What the fuck? Lynch, just admit it, you two-dollar whore: it wasn't about anything so much as surfing for a career-ending ring with a team upon which you will, at best, be a well-paid cheerleader. So much for that pride story, eh?

I'm sick of this crap about "leadership" from guys like Lynch. He was a great player in his day--although he'd lost a step by the time he arrived here--and his locker room presence was enhanced because he got it done on the field. No other reason. Ol' No. 47 is long past his moment of relevance as a full-time player and everyone on his team and in the stands knew it.

Forget the fans for a second--his co-workers won't buy it. If a guy can't play, the player next to him won't be fooled. He isn't going to look to that dude for leadership, if he was even predisposed to do so at all, if said dude is tackling Dallas Clark 34 yards past the line of scrimmage. He's going to think it's time for someone to put on a suit and start practicing post-career platitudes.

So in closing, thanks for nothing, John Lynch. You were a media darling and favorite of secret Nazis from Brighton, who purchased your jerseys by the pallet. You openly discussed the awesomeness of George Bush's values, are a massive hypocrite and will singlehandedly dispel the myth of Belichick as NFL Senior Whisperer.

Although you did wax Dante Hall that first game you ever played versus KC. Which was awesome.