Pujols is a fun word to say, as is (redacted)

Man, I guess I'd best quit dicking around and actually earn a paycheck around here. My tenure at the HoG is starting to resemble when I worked at Go-Go Magazine for Uncle Cecil and sold dozens of ads. And by dozens I mean none, but I did write a review of a Moroccan restaurant that gave me a case of Edgar Renteria in Albert's Pujols.

Um, that called for the drummer to do the little ba-dum-cha! on his high hat. And I heard no high hat. What kind of site are we running here?

Seriously, I think we need a little staff meeting, and we're out of tomato juice in the darkroom. What is to be the modus operandi, the calling card, the God damned mission statement of this undertaking? I have two main concerns, nay, make that three.

1. The Blizzard of Nair already knows how to format shit, make links, and for fuck's sake he put a YouTube clip in today. That is totally unfair. I did not purchase my copy of Blogging For Dummies and I hate being behind the curve.


2. I feel as though we need some rough, basic guidelines on style. A common font and font size, for instance, would improve readability. But beyond that, what are the ground rules? Obviously, we're cussing, but are we cussing in such a way that if the Blizzard's mom were to read the HoG she would be mildly disappointed in her boy? Or repulsed by the vulgarity? Will we publish smutty photos? Of hot chicks only, or of the scrotal variety as well?


3. Most important, what is it we're trying to say and to whom are we saying it? I have apparently addressed this post not to my buddies but some anonymous third party. Are we trying to do what KSK, With Leather and Deadspin do, only better? Worse? Worse is OK, but if we go there I think we should celebrate our worstness. I am tremendously concerned about originality. I wouldn't ever want to type in the royal we because that's Leitch's schtick and it's sublimely brilliant. I am not completely comfortable with the "tits & sports" in the tagline--only because on With Leather's "Saint Andrew's Net" dump link it says "expect sports and tits." Finally, I have the tiniest of nits to pick about the name of our baby. The original inside joke was Houses of George. Now House of Georges is not bad, and it's even more inside, and when the Wife asked what it meant I was able to pass it off as "some hockey term of (redacted)." It sound vaguely French or something.

Anyway, there it is. These discussions could have easily taken place in the e-mail, but my massive laziness dictated a post here.