Ron Mexico Jerseys Don't Get You Free Wi-Fi in the ATL Airport

Mirroring the sentiments of my colleague, today holds no time for bullshit. Lucky for sports fans, every other day of the year does. In a brief layover en route to Cancun to attend a wedding of one of the future Mrs. Bankmeister's friends, I offer these kind sentiments.

As the always-lame National Bitch Association's season drags the holy term professional through another muddy season, hoops chatter orbits around the Mayor of Homoville. I really enjoy continuing to hear about what a "team" effort last year's 81-point outing was. And how it was totally better than Wilt's hundo. Thrilling. Seriously. With the draft around the corner (I think the four-letter network starts coverage tomorrow), NHL playoffs on the horizon, and Opening Day drawing nearer, I really hope that Dr. Douche Bag's L.A. crew makes a real streak out of these recent wins. 'Cause I be needin' me a Kobe fix like nothin' else.

In other entirely pounded-into-the-ground news, Papelbon won't start this season for the Beantowners. Who flippin' cares? Bullpens and rotations mix it up all season long every year. Make the announcement. Move on.

Tubby Smith will mark the third black man to take up residence in the state of Minnesota; New Mexico -- do they actually have sports in the Land of Enchantment -- got a new coach; Tony LaRussa agreed to help David Wells "seriously cut down on his alcohol consumption"; Royals' hurler Zach Greinke is legitimately crazy (I especially love the parts where he talks ad nauseum about Chipotle, his girlfriend's "special mouth", and Justin Timberlake); the Big XII remains represented in the tourney; and Matt Schaub is a Texan. Yes. A Texan.

For real. Nice work passing on Reggie Bush and Vince Young so that you could afford to pay David Carr more undeserved American dollars. That's some stellar business. Who's steering that ship? HoG has its ideas. Meantime, I'll have another tequila. Salud.