You're Not Off The Hook, Kansas City

There are occasionally sports stories that I feel are interesting and deserve a post, but I back off because everyone else has already walked down that path. I tend to assume that every reader on this site follows the same pattern of blog-reading that I do, which is heavy on Deadspin, With Leather, The Dugout, and Hattie's Web.

But you know what? I have a lot of friends that read the HoG, and most of my friends are fucking idiots. They can barely read, and they certainly can't keep up with the brilliant sources of comedy that I personally enjoy. For some of you mopes, the HoG is all ya got.

So this story is worth a peek. It seems the Yankees started a game back in June and didn't finish it on account of some raindrops. The contest was suspended and will resume tonight, and once they're done with it they'll play the regularly scheduled game with the Orioles.

First off, let me say that the whole "suspended-game" thing is goofy. Whenever we have a situation like this there's always some kind of shenanigans, and I remember one story about a suspended game that resumed later in the season. There was a guy who played for Team A in the initial segment, and by the time it picked back up he'd been traded to Team B, and so in the box score he was playing against himself.

That's not the point. The point is that the Yankees will play a weird doubleheader this evening, and could technically pick up a game and a half on my Red Sox by going back in time to June 28.

Even goofier, if A-Rod hits a jack in the resumption of the suspended game, it will not count as his 500th. Since this is the completion of the June 28 game, a homer would be credited to that day and be the 493rd of A-Rod's career. The bomb that left The Kauff on Wednesday night would then become No. 500. Weird, wild stuff.

One more thing...every time I put up a link to a USA Today story I get a ration of shit from people, and by people I mean Cecil. Look, I know it doesn't have the strongest journalistic cred, but it does have stories like this. Some might get upset at the thought of drunk-driving astronauts, but I feel that if you're going to strap me to a missile and shoot me into space, I'm going to sip a little whisky beforehand. And by a little I mean a five gallon bucket.