Sleeping With the Enemy: Week Four, Broncos @ Chiefs

This is a very special week for the House of Georges, as our two clubs face off on Sunday, and we're going out of our way to provide minimal coverage of the contest. We're not so lazy, though, that we wouldn't even deliver one installment of "Sleeping With the Enemy." That would be ri-donc-u-lous. I've taken the lumps of pain and agony to sit down with a Denver fan, who of course I'm automaticallly required to hate. Worse, though, is that he calls Kansas City home, thus upping my levels of forced despite. For the purposes of this exchange, our guest selected the sobriquet "Diez y Cinco," likely in an effort to show his love for one snow-throwing, woman-beating, drunk-driving, McDonald's-bag slipping, self-loving Brandon Marshall, wide out for the Denver Broncos. And for the cave dwellers, this is an effort to mimic the trials of another stand-up NFLer who goes by, went by, goes by again jersey purchases pending will some day be remembered (I think) as Chad Johnson. For the record, it is engrained in me to point out the wrong in everything associated with the mile-high franchise, even if it's a fan, one that shared his time with the House of Georges, nonetheless. And that is this: If one wishes to say "fifteen" in Spanish, the appropriate term is quince, and not diez y cinco, but I expect nothing less from the fan of a ref-bribing, chop-blocking bunch of dummies who may or may not have won a championship or two since I've been alive. Anyway...

Bankmeister: Tell us, please, the fascinating story of how you came to be a Broncos fan, one that lives in Kansas City no less. It's been an interesting start to the season for us fans of AFC West teams. The Chargers, having just pulled off win number one this evening, were stunned by back-to-back last-minute losses. This obviously put a hitch in their stride as your team of orange and blue has notched three straight wins, and looked, more or less, like an offensive machine. I had a hunch this would be Cutler's year, but he seems to be getting better protection than I anticipated from his o-line. Of course Clady was a huge addition, but talk about the play of those other four guys thus far. Also, it's clear that Eddie Royal is a stud. My colleague Cecil was hyping him up throughout the pre-season, but for him to come in and be such a presence (especially in week one in Marshall's absence) this early is amazing. His play, coupled with that of B-Marsh is downright frightening. How can they be stopped? And don't say they can't.

Diez y Cinco: Well Mister Meister, first off thank you for having me. Your invite is an honor, and you're Web site is an insiration that Chefs and Donkeys can truly live in harmony. (Editor's Note: The House of Georges, or any of its staff do not agree with or resemble anything associated with that remark.) Well, I, like any true Broncos fan, became one through birthright. Born in Aurora, Colorado, a suburb right outside the Denver area, my adopted grandparents out there instilled in me a passion for one of the most entertaining sports teams of all time. With the amazing comeback kid, more affectionately known throughout the country as "Horse Face," leading us through pretty much all of my adolescence, it was easy to stay a stalwart fan. In my ever-changing life as a military brat, the ever-present image of Elway striding down the field in the last moments of a game always gave me a connection to home. And when we finally ended up being transferred to this wonderful city, everyone just opened up their arms for us...until they found out my dark secret of Donkey Love. Then the slander and jeers commenced.

Lucky for me during my sophomore and junior years, we proceeded to go to the big game back to back and win both. That gave me all the ammunition I needed to silence any Chiefs fans who would begin to slang the proverbial poo. When it would start to fly forth from their lips, all I would respond with was a simple, "And the last time your illustrious squad was Super Bowl-bound, Gatorade was invented. Correct?" (Note: High marks for originality; never heard that one before. Ever.) Tails would snap between legs and feet would run furiously for the door. Now onto the post-Elway era. Very difficult to watch at first, which is easily understandable, rebuilding after a great leaves isn't always as easy as putting in he who backed him up. The quarterback rotation would ensue and demoralize us for the next couple years. But then hope arrived in the form of a goofy-looking kid (gotta beat you to the punch) out of Vanderbilt. Cutler was his name, and his arm was quite strong, but just not steady, who, in his fist game he started looked quite progressable, going 10 of 21 for 137 yards and two TDs and two INTs, one of those TDs to #15 Brandon Marshall, another rookie on the team, who we'll get to later. Luckily I happened to be in Denver on this night, so envisioning the future was actually enjoyable. Ending the year 81 of 137 for 1,001 yards, the man-child proved he was worth the first-round pick.

And progress he did, his first full year was quite the step, 297 of 467, 3,497 passing yards, 20 TDs and 14 interceptions, this man grew into his stirrups. Now, as the media has no interest in stopping with telling us, with his diabetes under control he looks downright amazing. Behind Shanahan's (I know it's quite late to finally be mentioning this great man as well, but his successes just seem to speak for themselves (146-95 overall, 8-5 postseason -- oh yeah and those rings!)) masterful workings of the o-line, as you've pointed out, he has all day to hit his targets. Clady of course being the easiest to mention as he was a first-round draft pick, and an excellent one at that. And then Wiegmann being a free agent was a huge help to us as Pro Bowler C Nalen is on I/R with a knee injury. Then Kuper, Harris, and Hamilton, are just having stellar seasons as well, with Cutler only feeling the turf once so far this season.

This is my favorite part: the receivers. Who to start with? We'll follow your lead and go with Mr. Royal. It was quite easy to see in the pre-season that this kid was impressive. With B. Marshall's off-field antics having us all worried who Cutler would turn to, it was quite nice to see this young man step up. A rookie with his speed and his hands used to be almost unprecedented, especially to start over veteran Brandon Stokley. But this kid truely shined. Especially in that first-game win over Oakland with the 146 yards and one TD all eyes were on him and his speed. Probably would be double teamed if not for the aforementioned Stokley, the not-yet-mentioned TE tandem of Scheffler and Graham, both capable receivers, and the shortened suspension of, my man and number-one receiver in the league (please stay out of trouble!), Sir Brandon Marshall. This giant of a man just overwhelms most defenders, at 6' 4", 230 lbs, you often see DBs just shoulder-height to him. His career has just been impressive. Hampered early with injuries, the man bounced back strong in 2007 with 1,325 yards. And now, in just the two games this year, 24 catches for 321 yards and 2 TDs pretty much just speaks for itself. His knowledge of holes in the D, his progressing chemistry with Cutler, and the fact Cutler seeems to look for him on every down, he'll just keep the stats going. You ask how to stop this powerful offense? Tie chairs to cheetahs and balance quite well.

B: Okay. I have absolutely no idea what that means, but the rest of it's well-thought-out stuff, 15. The offensive capabilities are no secret; that we can agree on. Let's talk defense, though. The Chargers and the Saints, even if their efforts came in spurts, were able to almost score at will. I think it's safe to say that a few other teams might have the same successes against your Broncos. As most coaches will tell you, it starts with stopping the run, which, when you play the Saints doesn't really count because they're seldom handing off for those north-south runs, rather dumping screens to Bush in the flat, etc. LaDainian Tomlinson and Darren Sproles ran for a bit of success, as did Justin Fargas in week one. This run defense needs to find better way to plug the gaps, and get off the field. In the secondary, Champ is still any Denver fan's bukkake daydream, but Dre Bly awaits rights to the patent of "suckiest Bronco with six letters in his name." How will Denver improve on that side of the ball? This includes the middle of the field, too, as I've yet to see much pass rush from the 'backers?

15: Ah yes, the ugly side of the team. From back in the days of being the Orange Crush to the patheticness of becoming the Orange Slush. How easily this team can give up a 17-point lead in one quarter is one of the most pain-staking and stomach-turning events of all. I won't even be as polite as you were and point out Champ's never-ending shut down cornerness, because Bly, as far as i've seen, opens up the field. Then the stopping of the run. The only way I can see us stopping the run in the future is a new line. The reformed Cleveland Brown line that Shanahan thought would be so awesome, simply wasn't. Giving up nearly 1,265 yards, 10 touchdowns, with only one sack over the three games...those stats are just a hair short of what our all-mighty offense has produced. DJ williams is the only semi-impressive LB I've happened to even catch the name of. It has been my horror to have such a powerful offense show up, to be followed by such a porous defense. How high can our offense really score seems to be the question as we go into Jacksonville, New England, and Carolina. Maybe Coach has a few defensive tricks up his windbreaker, but I doubt it. I miss the days of old...wait, i'm beginning to sound a little like a Chiefs fan.

B: Hilarious. Since time is of the essence, a few parting thoughts for you to chew on: 1) Will a featured back emerge from the trio of Hall, Pittman, and Young, or will the Rat continue to use the three when and where they're best suited? 2) If you project the team's three-week performance over the course of the season, is Cutler your 2008 MVP? If not, who? 3) How will this Chiefs game shake down? Will Denver manhandle KC, or will it be a dogfight?

15: Well, I know I want to grab that third one first, but that's just rivalry talking. So I'll go in order: 1) I believe he will go for the three-man "Colorado shuffle." They've just got a good combination of running skills. Hall and Young are the faster of the three. With them two switching out, fourth-quarter exhaustion is less of a factor. Throw in a strong, smash-mouth, downhill runner like Pittman in goal-line situations, and everyone stays healthy and less likely to lose play calling should an injury arise. Sadly we might not see a 1,000-yard back, but with the blocking scheme, and yet again the aforementioned o-line, each back will still be quite adept at helping to keep third downs under 5 yards. 2) So, far of course. His co-stars on the line give him time to survey the field and make the intelligent passes. His ability to scramble if the seldom-seen pressure is actually applied, and then add to that the strength of his arm so that cross-body passes can be thrown downfield while on the run, the man is quite the athlete. Now I'm not saying league MVP quite yet, but it's always a back-of-the-mind hope. 3) And now the fun one: First, it depends, which of your non-injured quarterbacks is starting? Man, oh man, considering I will be at the game, in full Broncos attire, I'd love to say it will just be a curb stomping of utmost proportion, but I'm not sure I can.

Cheering proudly and extraordinarily loudly next to my fellow Broncos fan everytime the ball is kicked into the arms of our returner, with the knowledge that the strongest offense in the league will soon step onto the field, will be a tiresome and enjoyable activity each and every time. But then as the six and subsequent seven points are put onto the board, my voice will quiet in fear of the oncoming travesty, and subsequent surrounding trash talking that will follow. The beer will not be nearly enough to drown out that most horrible of all touchdown songs if it resounds throughout the stadium. While I don't think the Chiefs have a high chance of winning, I'm still uncertain if our luck will hold out if it's close. How many bad calls and missed field goals can one team truly have before the football gods turn away? I pray it's not a close one, our defense stands up, and the Chiefs get the painful stampede they deserve as the second-worst team in the NFL.

B: Fair enough. Score prediction?

15: Man, I didn't want to go there. Hoping that all atrociousness will not appear, I'll go 37-21. But that's with both fingers crossed and an eye on that D.

B: Wow. You're giving a)the Chiefs more points than they've scored in any game so far, b) the Chiefs more points than our Falcons fan gave them for the Atlanta game, and c) me a funny feeling below the belt at the thought of three touchdowns in one game. Nevertheless, thanks for joining us, DYC. It's been a pleasure having you, and here's to hoping the Chiefs give Cutler the Tom Brady treatment on Sunday. Go Chiefs!
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Ma Cudrapht 2008 V. Etc.

Since everyone with a second-grade education and an abacus is doing a mock draft right now, I figure I better get back on the stick.

The draft is but two weekends away and the radio silence is bustin' my drums, what with every decision-making NFL type hunkered down in some ala carte steakhouse trying to re-rank offensive guards 26 and 27. So into that breach steppeth the House of Motherscratchin' Georges. Absolutely informed and well-researched* positions after the leap.

(*Not true. In fact, some of these picks are downright fanciful.)


As before, this mock assumes no trades, even though they'll happen. And probably downwards, since every front office rat at the top of
this thing is gonna try and climb down the salary gangrope into a friendlier, less expensive neighborhood. Mixed metaphors be I.

1. Miami Dolphins--Vernon Gholston DE Ohio State

I'm sticking with Steroidus Maximus here. Not only because he'll fit Parcells' 3-4, but because I fear change.

2. St. Louis Rams--Jake Long OT Michigan

Switched Longs from last time. Some guys think he's a right tackle and nothing more, but those guys grow fungus in their decades-old 'staches. Sorry, Chefs fans.

3. Atlanta Falcons--Glenn Dorsey DT LSU

I actually think that spiky-haired parvenu they hired from New England will do the right thing here and help this shitty franchise build from the inside, rather than waste this pick on the overrated Matt Ryan (if Matt Ryan ever makes a Pro Bowl, that was Ol' No. 7's opinion, not mine).

4. Oakland Raiders--Chris Long DE Virginia

Even though I think he's dropping most places, he won't get by Al Davis. There's just no way. Al might also try and re-draft Howie, too, and then sign him to a 23-year 570 million dollar deal.

5. Kansas City Chiefs--Darren McFadden RB Arkansas (formerly Dominque Rodgers-Cromartie CB/RS Tennessee State)

No. 7 pointed out that I had left probably the most hyped and potential-laden prospect in this whole shebang off the list, to which I answered: you're not my real dad, you can't tell me what to do. Anyway, here's rectifying the situation by giving a team with plenty of backs another crazy talent. Fits with earlier Rodgers-Cromartie pick by being wholly unreasonable.

6. New York Jets--Keith Rivers LB USC

Supposedly this guy is really rising, and they need a linebacker, so here you go. Anyone reading this care? Speak up, New York, tell the House how you feel.

7. New England--Sedrick Ellis DT USC

Same as before. I would imagine they'd have preferred a linebacker, since all of theirs are old and broken, but instead they get a guy who I think will fucking rock in the NFL. I remember when I didn't hate this franchise. Barely.

8. Baltimore Ravens--Matt Ryan QB Boston College

Much as I'd like to give this kid a Brady Quinn-like, green room embarassment of a first round freefall, I can't see it happening. Why don't I like him? Because of a simple rule I have when it comes to NFL draft evaluation: go against what Colin Cowherd says.

9. Cincinnati Bengals--Malcolm Kelly WR Oklahoma

Even the team with the league's smallest scouting staff and dumbest owner--maybe second dumbest, after this guy and his Dad--can't really reach for this clown here, right? Right?

10. New Orleans Saints--Leodis McKelvin CB Troy

The mighty machine of Troy puts another guy in the league, fills a need for the Saints and increases to one the number of NFL players named "Leodis."

11. Buffalo Bills--Devin Thomas WR Michigan State

Another fast riser. One-year wonder in school, a tough position to project, but the Bills need to give Lee Evans help, and it wouldn't hurt to draft someone that the citizens of Toronto can embrace early.

12. Denver Broncos--Chris Williams OT Vanderbilt

Do I honestly think he'll be drafted before Ryan Clady? No. But I couldn't resist the Vandy connection. In this alternate universe, they also take Earl Bennett in the second round and the team's trainer in the 5th.

13. Carolina Panthers--Ryan Clady OT Boise State

Carolina execs wet themselves that he's still available. Except that, in that ol' real world, he most definitely won't be.

14. Chicago Bears--Rashard Mendenhall RB Illinois

They get the Illinois kid and instantly improve their running game. Hedging my bets: could be Jeff Otah, OT Pitt.

15. Detroit Lions--Branden Albert G Virginia

I'm giving Matt Millen too much credit by allowing him to draft a good player in my imagination. Real life pick, probably the 6th best wideout on the board.

16. Arizona Cardinals--Jeff Otah OT Pitt

Even though they took a tackle in the Top 5 last year, they still suck. And will probably continue to do so. Anyway, he's kinda like what Whisenhunt worked with in Pittsburgh, so...

17. Minnesota Vikings--Derrick Harvey DE Florida

Just about everyone has the Vikes getting this guy, which would be funny since his teammate Jarvis Moss was taken in the same spot last year by a certain local franchise...OK, so maybe that isn't really all that funny.

18. Houston Texans--Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie CB/RS Tennessee State (formerly )Mike Jenkins CB/RS South Florida

Need to shore up that pass D since Dunta "Don't pronounce it Dun-tah" Robinson is probably gonna lose his career to injuries.

19. Philadelphia Eagles--Limas Sweed WR Texas

Pro Football Weekly actually said that this kid "lacks confidence," which would be a first in an NFL wideout. I love this pick, because it might actually happen. Which would be a first for me.

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers--Anthony Collins LT Kansas

Going out on a limb, that's right. Most guys have this dude falling to the second or third round, but if you wanna play it safe, stick to the Kiper and get your weak ass down the highway.

21. Washington Redskins--Kenny Phillips S Miami

Just because of the Meast, RIP.

22. Dallas Cowboys--Felix Jones RB Arkansas

Pretty good speed back, went to Jerry Jones alma mater, I call Win for America's (most overhyped and underachieving) Team.

23. Pittsburgh Steelers--James Hardy WR Indiana

Benjy gets his tall (6'6") wideout, whose past as a girlfriend-and-infant son-abuser dovetails perfectly with this formerly Holier Than Thou franchise's recent history.

24. Tennessee Titans--Dan Connor LB Penn State

Jeff Fisher, when he's not accumulating career criminals and violent headcases, likes good ol' solid footballers like this kid, who doesn't suffer from the sin of modesty.

25. Seattle Seahawks--Jonathan Stewart RB Oregon

Sticking with this kid in this spot, even though Rick Gosselin of the Dallas Morning News has the Broncos taking him #12. Why? Because Rick Gosselin can suck it.

26. Jacksonville Jaguars--DaJuan Morgan S North Carolina State

Another good player for a D that seemingly never runs out of 'em. Real world hope is that Denver trades down and picks him up.

27. San Diego Chargers--Curtis Lofton ILB Oklahoma

Big fan of this kid, which only makes the pain of writing that pick worse. Maybe he and Phillip Rivers will get into an argument over dominoes that ends with Rivers' violent murder...sigh. I can only dream.

28. Dallas Cowboys--Aqib Talib CB Kansas

It baffles me somewhat that his stock is dropping so far, but Dallas lucks into a pretty good corner with an inflated sense of self-esteem. Which isn't a bad thing at his position.

29. San Francisco 49ers--Kentwan Balmer DT North Carolina State

The interesting aspect of this is, why so many high-round picks out of such a blah program? Jeezus. Boom or bust guy, but you can never have too many linemen.

30. Green Bay Packers--Jerod Mayo LB Tennessee

Another fantasy pick, because this kid will go much higher than this, maybe top 15-20. All of my debts with Packerville are hereby settled.

31. New England Patriots--********

FAIL

32. New York Giants--Lawrence Jackson DE USC

They won the Super Bowl rotating linemen, so add another potential 8-10 sacks per year at the end of the round. Why not? Every other team is doing it. Or would. If they won the Super Bowl. Fuck the New York Giants, anyway.
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Poring the Draft, v. Volume, Volume, Volume

And now time for a fun bit of speculation on what the Broncos and Chiefs will do with their picks in the upcoming draft. What's that? Not fun? OK, busted. No one thinks this is fun but me, and I once spent a few ferocious weeks gnawing an antique rocking chair because I thought I was a beaver.

First, the Chefs. Who need all the firsts they can muster..


Unless kcchiefs.com is wrong, the Chefs have 10 picks in the upcoming draft; their full slate, plus additional in the 5th, 6th and 7th rounds. That's a fair amount, which would lead one to speculate that they might trade up in some fashion, but I think Carl Peterson can't be bothered with that kind of shit these days. He's busy doing __. Anyway, these picks will all be better than the ones that long-suffering Arrowheaders will get in April--so enjoy, kids!

Round 1. Jeff Otah. LT Pitt
Sticking with this for now, although word is they were at Matt Ryan's workout. Could it be? Another young QB to throw into the briar patch?

Round 2. Jerod Mayo. LB Tennessee
If this guy lasts to KC in the second round, The Administrator should wet himself with joy. He won't, though, since his stock has been steadily rising, but I'm sticking with the mock for now--in real life this is more like a cornerback, maybe an Aqib Talib.

Round 3. Tommy Blake. DE TCU
Trying to find a true gem amidst the pile of Mountain West poop, King Carl reaches for a guy with mental problems--but who can also rush the passer. Then again, so could this guy.

Round 4. Chad Henne. QB Michigan
An actually smart pick, as opposed to the one that brought Mr. Glass to the City of Fountains. Henne played well in a big conference, has a big arm and doesn't look so fucking emo.

Round 5, #1. Davone Bess. WR Hawaii
This guy caught a ton of passes, and has the potential to be a good slot receiver, but beware of anything Hawaii in the NFL, unless it comes in a package with "Ma'a Tanuvasa" written on it. Also spent 15 months in Juvie, so he'll fit right in out on the plains.

Round 5, #2. Chris McDuffie. OG Clemson
I know nothing about this dude, other than that he's 6-6" and weighs 331.

Round 6, #1. Mike Hart. RB Michigan
The all-time leader at Go Blue is too slow and small to get drafted higher than this--could be a fine pick. Or not.

Round 6, #2. Kory Sperry. TE Colorado State
I'm giving you this guy as a fucking gift, and you'd best remember it. You can thank me later.

Round 7, #1. Jamey Richard. C Buffalo
Jesus, I'm too nice. This is a guy I'd love to have given to Denver--but hey, here you go...remember, though, that Buffalo has been the worst team in organized sports for a long time and this guy might be the reason. Not saying is, but, well, you know.


Ah, glad that's over. A quick chemical shower and it's time to get cracking on Denver...

Round 1. Rashard Mendenhall. RB Illinois
I'm sticking with this for this one last post, even though I've already changed my mind.

Round 2. Curtis Lofton. ILB Oklahoma
A true middleman to eventually step into the starter's role; for now, a solid backup and special teamer. (Note: I changed my mind about this since typing it, but I'll let it stand for now, because otherwise I'll never get to sleep.)

Round 4, #1. Steve Justice. C Wake Forest
Zone-blocking center. We'll coach him up into career-ruining stage quickly.

Round 4, #2. Andre Fluellen. DT Florida State
Sure, this is a little bit of wishful thinking, but what's this whole exercise? Penetrating tackle who played hurt as a senior.

Round 5, #1. Tom Zbikowski. S Notre Dame
Overrated, obnoxious, short and slow. And those are his good points. Still, he actually likes to play football, and Denver could use more of that. Also can return punts.

Round 6. Maurice Purify. WR Nebraska
Not only has he been arrested twice, he's slow and inconsistent. Did beat up on Aqib Talib, though...

Round 7, #1. Tyler Polumbus. OT Colorado
Every year, the Broncos bring in a few CU linemen. This one might actually make the team.

Round 7, #2. Barry Booker. DT Virgina Tech
Cheating again. He's probably more like a 5th rounder, but still--undersized tackle with quickness and the ability to penetrate, which Denver chicks love. Ba-bang!

There you have it. I swear I won't change my mind. For a few days, anyway.

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Baseball In The Daytime: 8-13-07

Unless you are unfortunate enough to live in the Eastern Time Zone, you get a little bit of day baseball today. Due to some crappy weather back in April, the Giants and Pirates will play a pair at PNC, and it will be an honest-to-goodness doubleheader. One ticket gets you in to both games. So I guess there's one place worth being in the Eastern Time Zone after all, and it's in a seat at the yard channelling Ernie Banks.

The whole production commences at 3:05 Mountain, and you can catch it on your drive home on XM 186. The housewives, college students, shut-ins, convalesced and chronically unemployed are shit outta luck, as there doesn't appear to be a TV broadcast.

And if you like reading about someone else's fantasy team, continue...

I play in a couple leagues, but the big daddy is the Ted Willaims Unfrozen Head. It's a head-to-head daily league, and I'm currently sitting in the fourth spot. Which matters because four teams get in to our playoff tournament.

Hot on my heels is the HoG's own Banky, who held fourth for much of the season while I sorted out some issues. We meet this week, for the third and final time. I currently hold a five-category-win advantage over the kid, so this game will go a long way to deciding who makes it to the postseason.

And I'm here to tell everyone, but particularly the general manager of the Alex Gordon Express, that this one's in the bag. There is no possible way that I'm going to lose. My pitching is vastly superior, even with Rocket taking the week off and none of my aces getting two starts. And I should hit enough to dominate the hacks on Banky's roster.

So the gauntlet has been thrown down, young man. Should you choose to make a wager, with the penalties for the loser to be massively humiliating, I'll take your money. Or dignity.

And as for everyone else--I've never played classic Rotisserie baseball with an auction, only the head-to-head with a draft. But after reading Sam Walker's excellent Fantasyland, I think I might be ready to take the plunge. So I may start a HoG Roto league next year. Who's in? Read more