Showing posts with label Tiger Woods Y'all. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tiger Woods Y'all. Show all posts

Monday, June 16, 2008

Monday (with Golf Playoff Live Blog!) Miscellany: 6-16-08

It feels great to be back. I mean, golfing, rafting, and boozing for four days in the beautiful mountain town of Vail is fine, I suppose, but I'd much rather be seated in the darks (Now, with less dampness! Thanks de-humidifier!) of my basement, blogging the sportage for our intergalactic audiences. Currently, the playoff is on the 13th hole, and Tiger is aiming for an eagle. I'm trying to Mediate his success with jinxes, whatnot.

Every day now and again, we make fun of Canada here on the House of Georges. And most of the time, they've given us reason to do so. Today, they continue that trend.

(U.S. Open Update: Tiger missed the Eagle opportunity, and Rocco shaved a stroke to enter the 14th at +2, though Tiger avoided any gained ground by maintaining his one-stroke lead.)

Bummer. Not as much of a bummer as this, but still:


http://view.break.com/520928 - Watch more free videos

(video courtesy of With Leather)

(Update: Rocco just nailed a killer birdie, and Tiger rimmed his putt, a completely disappointing event that knotted up the score. I gotta admit: this is pretty exciting, and the crowd is super fired up for this gig.

Tiger just drove his 15th-hole shot outside the ropes. More of an edge for Rocco? Perhaps he can get out of the Woods.)


The Big Lead shares with us that Sherron Collins has his own translation of "Rock Chalk, Jayhawk." Perhaps Coach Self should host a "Keep It in Your Pants" party.

(Update: Tiger's drive left him in a bunker. Rocco landed himself on the green with a beautiful second shot, inducing speculation that he would now pull away from Tiger. Tiger responded by not only getting himself out of the bunker, but placing his shot closer to the hole than Rocco's. Unpossible!

Holy Fuck! Rocco counters with a putt that had divine intervention all over it! Amazing! His third birdie in a row! Suddenly, my exclamation point key is going out of control!

Tiger missed! Rocco's got a one-stroke lead as we head to the 16th.)


When we got to the bar in Vail Friday night, I was eager to check in on the Royals/Diamondbacks game. I was floored to see that it was scoreless in the seventh, certain that, after coming completely unglued in the previous series with the Texas Rangers, the boys in blue would totally melt against the first-place D'Bags.

When it went to extra innings, a young lady from Tempe saw Yasuhiko Yabuta on the mound and asked me if he used to be a Diamondback. I could not recall, only inform her that he defines suck. Seconds later, he gave up the lone-run, walk-off homer. Guess he didn't care for that comment too much. When the Unit took the mound on Saturday, I was at first nervous to see how young Luke Hochevar would fare, then pretty pleased with the 12-3 beating they handed Arizona. That contest made the rubber match even more intriguing, and, with the help of David DeJesus' grand slam (with Gil Meche on base via a fielder's choice), another KC victory was had, this one to the tune of an 8-3 mark. They'll continue the interleague action with those hated Red Birds tomorrow.

(Update: Tiger and Rocco are still neck and neck. They're both dancing on the 17th. Mr. Woods of course set himself up gracefully, a roughly ten-foot putt in his way. Rocco's a bit further out. And by "a bit," I mean roughly a quarter mile.)

Okay. Maybe Tiger's putt was more like 20 feet. Either way, he missed it. Rocco sunk his, and takes his one-stroke lead to the 18th hole. Will we see a playoff for the playoff?


Ah, the good old days of terrible commercials. Awful Announcing graces the memory banks with some Pete Rose singing.



(Update: Rocco was totally outdriven, landed in a bunker, and Tiger's right in the middle of the fairway. Fuck.

Amazing. Rocco chipped onto the green, leaving himself about 25 feet from the hole. Tiger's turn. They're estimating he's about 40 feet out. He's taking his time scoping the green. If he nails an eagle, he wins (with a Mediate miss).

Woods is wide of the hole by about a foot!

Rocco's up. I can't imagine how he's staying calm. Oh. My. God. He fucking missed. Maybe six inches left.

Tiger for a birdie opportunity. No way he misses this. A sea gull distracts him, and he backs off. Here it is...he drained it.

Alas, so did Rocco. Sudden death, double OT.)


Courtesy of Deadspin, here's a lot of words about soccer over the weekend.

(Update: Back to the golf. The guys will play the par-three seventh hole here, to try and settle this thing. (Meta-Update: I've had to take a shit for like an hour and-a-half. Just sharin'.) Tiger's in the tee box. After his last drive, he looked like he was in pain. No signs of it here now, though. Jesus. This guy takes more time setting up for shots than those dumb pitchers with their pick-off moves. I always boo them.

And he crushed it. Stayed on the fairway, but barely. Rocco's turn. I gotta believe he won't hit the same distance. Good contact. Holy Christ. More bunker debacle.

That should do it. Rocco hit out of the bunker and layed his ball up in the flippin' crowd. Tiger's turn. He puts it right on the edge of the green. Well, it's been incredible. It really has. The "Let's Go, Rocco" chants rain down, and Mediate looks for a drop. He gets a decent one. He's on the green.)


Free Darko has an interesting take on the NBA Finals.

(More Update: Tiger's putting to win. He's up from about 25 feet. Jesus. He's about three inches shy. Rocco takes to the green for a chance to stay alive.)

Since the House of Georges takes reader requests seriously, I'm going to honor the (newly-acquainted) reader Steve's request to discuss the Seattle Seahawks on a more frequent basis, which would mean mentioning them period. After a touch of digging around, I've discovered that their roster -- or at least current projections of --doesn't look half bad. Of course, and this is all coming via a post from Seahawks blog, Hasselbeck will be under center. Now, Seneca Wallace played some decent ball the last time the 'Hawks and Chiefs squared off, but if both he and Bald Matt get hurt, that leaves Charlie Frye at the helm, and I can't put a finger on what that might mean for a football team. That is, he sort of went through a shitty scenario in Cleveland, but who doesn't? Can he handle a Holmgren-run club?

In the backfield, the additions of Julius Jones and T.J. "Fat Guy in a Little Shirt" Duckett are key, according to our inside sources. The receiving corps, I argue, needs help. Maybe it's just me, but the trio of Branch, Burleson, and Engram spells a tired-ass deep threat, and maybe 150 catches combined. What Ben Obomanu and Courtney Taylor bring to the mix, I have no idea. This is the NFC we're talking about here. In ends of tightness, Jeb Putzier might very well be the sleeper, but he used to be a Donkey, which makes him a mule for life. Oops on that signing.

The O-Line has Pork Chop Womack on it, so that's tight, and the linebacking corps contains Lofa Tatupu, who I've heard of, which means zero. But other guys, like the cats over at Field Gulls, know a thing or two about linebacking. Or, there's the dudes at Seahawks Addicts. They're out there scooping all the Seahawks sludge from the windshields and beach umbrellas in Seattle. Like the Seahawks version of Cedric Benson, Rocky Bernard. (Editor's Note: Isn't that the guy from "Mask?")

Anyway, those guys are hard core. They cover things like "inccidents" and "differed" charges. So there's your Seahawks skinny, Steve. I trust you will never again frequent the House of Georges, thus relieving me of my NFC West duties. Glory be to God.

(Perhaps the Final Update: And he missed by just about as much as Tiger did. Another victory for Tiger Woods. Well, at least I can poop now.)
Read more

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Fatlock Follies: Hugh Hefner's Gift, Stellar Literary Journalism and Burnt Ends on Bun

Today being Tuesday, we typically come at our readers with a little weekly installment called "Tradition Tuesday." I opine that it's one of our better features, and it typically starts with a sentence that goes something like, "The rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Denver Broncos." I write that. Old No. 7 writes that, and someday maybe Cecil will, too. It's a true statement. And I posit that, to paraphrase Seven, the rough philosophy of this blog is to crack wise. We attempt to cover sports, and be funny doing it, and that's the nature of the House of Georges. From time to time, however, we take a serious stance. It's not something we intend to make a practice of, by any means. Race in America, is a serious issue, perhaps the most of them all. This post will attempt to analyze Jason Whitlock's article "The Black KKK" in this month's issue of Playboy. Last month, I wrote a reactionary post (Editor's Note: The post got me in a bit of hot water with both my colleagues and a few readers) to a Whitlock column in The Kansas City Star.

The column warned Star readers that the forthcoming article had been unjustly titled by Playboy Editorial Director Christopher Napolitino and his colleagues. While I found it odd -- not an uncommon opinion of mine regarding Whitlock -- that he would devote local sports-page column inches to preempt a literary piece in a national publication, I did agree with his general consensus. Whitlock was told by the editors that the title would stick, there would be an equally inappropriate sub-heading to it, and that this was the first of several attempts by the magazine to, in a sense, sensationalize, or get reader attention via bold and daring, if even unrelated, headlines. While it'd be much easier to crack wise about Tiger Woods' opinion on hockey, or whine about Mixed Martial Arts ratings trumping Stanley Cup Finals ratings, the issue has been out for a number of weeks now, and today, finally, I'll attempt to break it down.

But first, an anecdote regarding the (non-online) purchase of pornography in the year 2008. Circa 1989, I, still too young to drive, rode my 10-speed to the neighborhood bookstore. I had for some time been infatuated with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues, and, in my infinite wisdom, decided that the scantily clad no longer satiated my hormonal needs; I wanted the real thing. At the magazine shelf -- a mere eight feet from the checkout counter -- I, lacking everything in the department of sly, stuffed an issue of Playboy inside an issue of Rolling Stone and attempted to purchase (Note: See also, steal) the latter. To this day, I'm grateful that the cashier on duty was a dude not much older than me, one who perhaps recognized my plight. Our conversation went something like:

Cashier: (flips Rolling Stone open right to the spot where the Playboy was) You, uh, want to buy this one, too?
Young Bankmeister: (with quarts of adrenaline, tweaked nerves, cracking voice) Yes, please.

He rang me up, and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Thanks, dude, for not alerting the local law enforcement officials.

Twenty years later, materials of this nature are -- this just in -- readily and plentifully available, for free, at the click of a mouse. That is, the images are. If you want the articles, you gotta by a hard copy. When Whitlock's column in the Star came out, I was certain he said it'd be on the stands on May 9. So I scooted down to the 7-11, and asked the young girl behind the counter if they had the latest issue. She gave me that sweet-request-you-creep look, and retrieved it. I, fumbling and awkward, said that I wanted it for the Whitlock article, and anxiously perused the contents listed on the cover. She didn't understand, and with a semi-fearful look, gazed at her male co-worker (equally young) who muttered something about recognizing Whitlock's name. She then produced a Penthouse and asked if that was the one I wanted. It was roughly the most uncomfortable three minutes of my life. And naturally, when I got home, the article was not there. It was, however, advertised in the "Next Month" section at the back.

Sweet. Guess who was working when I revisited the 7-11. Same girl. Same awkward request. Same awful transaction, one resulting in a, "Have a good night." It was like six in the evening, and I wanted to tell her that my plans for the evening were in fact deeper than a 15-minute date with the magazine, and that she couldn't fathom how odd this was, given the Internets, but I hustled out of there, somewhat the same 15-year-old on a 10-speed. So there's that. Back to the article.

In a nutshell, the piece is awesome. Whitlock went to California and researched government dollars, statistics and effects of incarceration, and theorized that the movement of mass imprisonment is -- and I paraphrase here -- the root of gang behavior, activity, and mentality in the United States today. Of course that's a loaded statement, one that takes time to process, and formulate a response. It's important to note here that I am white, Jason Whitlock is black, and a large portion of the folks he writes about in this particular piece are black and Hispanic. If I had one wish in the world, and the endless-supply-of-cash-hookers-and-cocaine wish was not allowed, I would wish for it not to be important that I announce my ethnicity. I mean, it's important to a degree, I guess, but it'd be nice to be able to have an opinion about an important issue, and accept that opinion as one from a person about people, but that is likely all-too-utopian.

Whitlock kicks the piece off by mentioning an organization of which I had never heard: the California Correctional Peace Officers Association (CCPOA). He mentions them because, according to his findings, they are one of the most powerful entities in the state. There are 180,000 people in California jails. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's most recent correctional facilities budget calls for $9 billion in incarceration expenses, and his solution is to release some 11 percent of those prisoners to cut those costs, but, "Prison guards run the state, and they have no interest in fewer bodies to supervise," he writes. The author next mentions a person that, until I read, was unknown to me: Julian Mendoza (Note: Links are not biographical in nature, but columns of his from the Amer-I-Can -- a Jim Brown-founded organization that aims to "change one's life and help him or her to become a contributor to a better community and ultimately, a better nation" -- newsletter.).

Whitlock attends a Mendoza speech at a locked-down youth camp, one the speaker has frequented more than weekly for over 10 years, and the theme of the delivery is fear, a concept he tells the "brown and black boys" "why you're here...why you come back...why you won't change." Later in the piece, Whitlock returns to the topic of Amer-I-Can, but at this point in the piece, he takes a political stance.

"For the first time in our history we are seriously wrestling with the idea of electing a black man to the nation's highest office...The mixed-race man who is best qualified on day one to fight domestic terrorism and explain to white America why it's in everybody's best interest to disarm, convert and rehabilitate the Crips, Bloods and Mexican Mafia members in our prisons hasn't addressed the topic, because he runs the risk of being labeled too nonwhite."


Whitlock tells us, via a pastor from a South Central L.A. church that this is not a topic for Barack Obama to focus on, as it would "scare off too many Caucasian voters." He then brings us back to the theme of fear, and cites two studies in doing so:

"*One in every 100 American adults resides behind bars.
*One out of every nine black men between the ages of 20 and 34 is incarcerated.
*Hispanics outnumber all other ethnic groups in prison.
*America incarcerates 800,000 more people than China and nearly three times as many people as Russia.
*If current rates of incarceration remain unchanged, 28.5 percent of black men will be confined in prison at least once during their lifetime."


All of this, Whitlock says, can be traced back to fear. It's fear of crime, and allowing that fear, coupled with the drug war, to "rule our criminal-justice policies." This duo, he adds, facilitates gang life behind bars, and transcends the incarcerated, into the families and neighborhoods of loved ones. Whitlock portends that, for every man in jail, there is a network of loved ones that suffer with him, and with the ever-growing number of incarcerated, "it is not at all surprising that black youth culture -- music, communication, appearance, attitude, parenting and socializing -- reflects values associated with surviving while incarcerated." He notes that values like sagging pants and child abandonment are "driven by a mentality refined behind prison walls and celebrated, exploited and promoted by the music industry and Hollywood.

He intelligently reminds us that it is a great variety of Americans, not just blacks and Hispanics, that, to varying degrees, have embraced the hip-hop/prison culture, and done so having overlooked consequences that materialize in the form of violent death, disrespect, and hatred. He also argues that this issue has spread into the ranks of government and politics as something that "tears at the patriotic fabric necessary to sustain a free nation." Movies, video games, a frightening hunger for money and fame, Whitlock writes, have skewed the priorities of many Americans, and the prison system is to blame. He speaks with Gerald Harris, a retired Department of Corrections administrator about how to fix the prison situation in California. During the course of three decades at his post, Harris watched the California prison population not double, not triple, but octuple.

Part of that increase, Whitlock says, is a result of those imprisoned for non-violent crimes, even if they are third-time felons, a conviction of which lands one a mandatory 25-year sentence, and was cultivated by former Governor Pete Wilson's three-strikes bill against criminals. Also during Harris' time in office, 20 new facilities were erected, and the state's corrections budget hit the number it's at now, and increase from $300 million. Additionally, the construction of those prisons largely overshadowed the addition of one university to the state of California.

Back to the CCPOA: it's 30,000 strong, and commands a pay rate more than double that of the national average. The salaries tower over those of teachers, and in cases where a worker logs more than 40 hours in a week, they can hit the hundred-thousand mark. Some, Whitock adds, earn more than the governor himself. More frightening than wages, though, is the political power the organization holds. Allegedly, millions of dollars are spent on political candidates, and efforts to thwart their stronghold are often, if not always, squashed. The current governor had even appointed a prison specialist to breakdown the fierce force of the CCPOA. He lasted two years before stepping down due to alleged intimidation.

Whitlock quotes former Chief of Education and Inmate Programs for the state D.O.C., and she claims that the CCPOA does in fact run the prisons. She talks of large numbers and piles of dollars that keep them in place, and continuously provide new employment. "It is the most powerful union I have ever seen in my lifetime," Wanda Briscoe says. There is even speculation that altercations in the prisons are provoked by guards; fighting and riots mean more wages for the guards, as overtime dollars are deemed necessary to keep the prisoners at bay, and one source in the story goes so far as to say that guards will intentionally pit Mexican and black gangsters together, knowing the likely outcome. And it gets worse. Further speculations suggests that organized crime in prison benefits all parties involved, that there is coincidence in the high cost of legal representation, and the desire to keep prison labor -- allegedly more valuable/desired than that of illegal immigrants -- in high demand.

Then there is the outside, a world in which the previously incarcerated and the probationed, are persuaded to maintain the gang-related behaviors they learned in prison. Whitlock's article suggests that the behavior is somewhat unavoidable on the inside; many try to mind their own business upon incarceration, then trouble hits, sides are selected, and survival becomes the first and foremost mindset. On the outside, the assignment is (frequently) to kill a member of the opposing side, behaviors glorified by groups like N.W.A., and artists like Snoop Dogg and Tupac Shakur. It all translates, Whitlock says, to the streets, and more specifically, the schools, where teacher safety equates to how those teachers treat their children.

Whitlock spoke with Professor Emeritus of Psychology at UC-Berkeley Harry Edwards, who offered the following:

"The values and perspectives of hopelessness spawned in society are intensified inside prison walls and then are revisited upon the community," Edwards says, which almost makes the schools replicas of the prisons. "The very vehicle -- education -- that is supposed to give kids hope is now an extension of the prison system...You can't teach when you're worried about safety. You can't learn when your primary concern is safety."


There, then, are many facets of the problem(s), and Whitlock nominates Jim Brown as the best candidate to take charge of the solution. He says that Brown's program has 20 years of experience in dealing with relationships of folks in many of these circumstances, that Amer-I-Can is a starting point. He interviewed Brown, who told him, "I've never talked a man out of a gang. That's not what we do. We talk people out of doing gang criminal activity." Brown tells Whitlock that their successes have come via education, often times within the prisons themselves.

Perhaps even more profound is a statement from a former cop and juvenile-prison chaplain. "There's no stigma when you go to jail," says Bishop Hendricks. "When I was growing up the family was embarrassed. When you went to jail it was a mind-boggling experience. Nowadays going to jail is a badge of honor."

And then Whitlock brings Mendoza back into the piece, the notion of the paroled being banned from associating with gang members and neighborhoods acting as a one-way ticket back to prison. "You're basically telling guys," Mendoza says, "(d)on't go home and don't associate with your family."

There is the philosophy of doing just that, too. A quote from the story suggests that the corruption and violence within the prisons forces intelligent inmates to disassociate with friends and loved ones, as refusing to think about them fosters honed survival mentalities, and not discussing or being visited by them keeps sacred information away from dangerous fellow inmates.

Whitlock closes the piece by offering his own suggestions of how to make the situation better. And it is just that: a situation. A major one. A lot of this information -- the gang activity and violence in the streets -- has been portrayed in many films and rap lyrics. It's what's on the inside -- behind the bars -- that hasn't, a notion Whitlock suggests gave birth to the more-recognized streets aspect of society. He wants it to change, and he is not alone.

At the beginning of this post, I said I'd analyze his article, and I've changed my mind, to an extent. Before writing this, I finished reading it for the third time in 10 days, and the information is there, concise, yet rattling in my cage. Whitlock has taken the time and energy to do the research, and put his findings to the page. In lieu of analysis, I'm left with the desire to question three things. Here, perhaps, is where it's important that I noted my demographic, and here, most certainly, is where I commend Whitlock on a job well done. But I question, nevertheless:

1) Why is the focus of education and rehabilitation starting with the imprisoned, the already-criminally labeled? Why not harness the knowledge, perhaps the focus of Amer-I-Can, and use it to at least try and keep folks out of prison in the first place?

2) How can this many people know, and share information regarding such knowledge, about the corruption within the California prison system, and more specifically the CCPOA? Aren't there dozens of television programs on every day of the week wherein scandals -- for lack of a better word -- are exposed and duly addressed?

3) In the post I linked to in the beginning, I suggested that Whitlock transition into a new role, perhaps that of role model. He has, in his Star columns, and to a lesser degree in this article, said that good black male role models are scarce. And as I've said, I agree. Can't a man of his stature and success take on such a role? If not, can't he be a liasion for role models, a contractor and contactor of folks?

I believe he A-Meri-I- Can.
Read more

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Scores, Fores, and Bores

What a day to be a Spartan. Capturing their third Frozen Four Championship in Michigan State University history, the Spartans served Boston College a healthy serving of misery, as the Eagles fell in the championship game for the second (not quite as bad as four) year in a row. After a period and-a-half of scoreless hockey, BC struck first, only to see MSU equalize things halfway through the third. Just as overtime seemed certain, MSU broke the tie with less than 20 seconds to play in the game. The Spartans would add an empty-net tally to seal their 3-1 victory, but North Dakota's Ryan Duncan would take home a piece of hardware all his own. Duncan became only the second Fighting Sioux to win college hockey's MVP, and only the third sophomore to ever claim the award. North Dakota fell to the Eagles 6-4 Thursday night, a match in which Duncan was held without a point.




In other news, a bunch of dudes walked around this piece of Georgia real estate all weekend looking for a jacket. It was said to be an ethnically diverse group of men, many of whom are suprisingly married to attractive women. HoG's own oNs (a.k.a. Onus) delivered to our lone reader a variety of excruciating stimuli in the form of a slew of posts covering the Masters Invitational, a fantasy golf tournament he drubbed up years ago. Let me tell you, following this annual bucket of orgasm is nothing shy of stellar. It remains impossible to match the levels of exuberance attained on the three -- and by three I mean six -- days the invitational spans. I, for the first year in tourney history, was not invited to play, an oversight I can only attribute to some horrid virtual glitch that the Hootster must alleviate prior to next year's outing. Perhaps the most exhilirating and newsworthy bit to surface from the invitational was that the Irish leapfrogged Blacks (Tiger Woods, y'all), Hispanics, and Asians (Tiger Tiger Woods, y'all) on Hoot's list of races he -- how shall I say this -- despises. I had my money on Polynesians making the top five, but there's always next year.




In still other news, soccer's slated to start soon. Yay. That should be about as exciting as attending the Easter Vigil mass. There's nothing I enjoy more than taking a chore of an hour, stretching it into more than double its length, and looking at your watch every 36 seconds in hopes that at least 15 minutes have gone by. And just when you think you're out of the hole, there's stoppage time. Stoppage time embodies euphoria. It's like that part of church where the service has ended (for the love of Pete, the priest has even said so), but you sing one more song and wait for his Holiness, the altar servers and all the pews in front of you to make their way for the door before you can leave. For real though, soccer's pretty brutal. There're two things I like about soccer a lot. The first, and clearly most important, is the fans. I have tremendous admiration for those across the globe that show support for their club with fantastic fervor and decor. The second thing I really like about soccer falls something along the lines of when it's not on, as in, the off-season. That kicks ass. Now World Cup soccer is pretty cool. The whole world gets into the sport for a month or so, and all 17 American soccer fans talk about how they're gonna get out of bed at crazy-ass hours to watch the games. That's downright devotion. You gotta love that. Just don't talk to me about it. And please, I beg you, don't do the now-overdone Hispanic "Gooooooooooooooolllllllllllllll" shout. I've had plenty already. Read more

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Tiger Woods' Ball Spotter

Although this commercial is now seven years old, its ultimate bad-assness continues to thrive, making it worth an appearance on the HoG. Apparently, this is also the case with the "beloved" Masters Tournament and one Tiger Woods. Tiger's first Augusta National victory came a few years prior to Synchronicity's (unofficial dubbing of the commercial) initial airing, and, after allowing Lefty to nab the green jacket last year, el Tigre looks to return to his ways of winning. Perhaps, if Senor Woods gets off to a poor start, he can reach deep into his bag of tees, and try to pull out something really manly. If he discovers no tricks, he may have to baste his balls with an extra coat of the top-secret, special meast moistener. That always works for my game. Regardless of how Tiger's game goes, I'm really, really looking forward to the HoG's exciting coverage of the fantasy version of this highly esteemed tourney. Dee-lish.

Read more