Friday, October 9, 2009

Sleeping with the Enemy: Week Five, Cowboys @ Chiefs

Just like the string of winless Chief games, "Sleeping with the Enemy" keeps pluggin' along, and I for one, am not gonna lie: I'm happy to be through with what some might call the tough half of the NFC East stretch. Don't get me wrong: Kansas City could easily drop both this Sunday's game against Dallas, and next week's game against the not-very-good-seeming Washington Redskins. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. If you're new to this feature, we sit down right quick and chat with a fan of the opposing team each week, and as you might've guessed by the pictured "enemy" I've most definitely slept with, the Chiefs are hosting Dallas this Sunday.

Normally, I nab an old buddy, or a homeless guy in Westport to pose as the fan of the bad guys, but this week, I was lucky enough to reel in someone of a slightly higher-than-homeless status: Cory "Cowboy" Anderson from KCSP 610 AM here in Kansas City. He's the host/co-host of 610's show "Chris and Cowboy" which airs Monday through Friday from two to six in the afternoon, and unfortunately, he's a Dallas fan. Our pigskin chat, post-leap.

Bankmeister: Begin, if you would, by giving us a bit of background on yourself. You're a fan of both the Oklahoma State and the Dallas Cowboys, correct? Did you grow up in the south? What're your fondest childhood memories of America's team? How long have you been in Kansas City? To what extent are you an actual fan of the Chiefs? You cover them extensively on the air, and based on your criticisms (positive and negative) it would appear that you root for them to at least not suck. Can you give us an analogy, or just a general comparison of your feelings for the Cowboys versus those that you have for the Chiefs?

Cowboy: I was born and raised in Oklahoma City, so without a team of our own, OKC is basically a Cowboys town. There are some that jump on various bandwagons and don't have one team, but the majority of OKC roots for the Cowboys. My dad is a huge fan as well, and growing up we rarely missed a Cowboys game on Sunday in front of the TV. It's one of the things that helped us form as close a relationship as we have today, and in fact we still talk on the phone after the Cowboys game every Sunday, usually now to bitch about Romo and how bad he sucks. My best memories are obviously following that great team of the early-to-mid '90s that won three Super Bowls in four seasons. I was 15 years old when they won the first one, so it made football a big part of my life through junior high and high school. I also have some great memories of visiting Texas Stadium back in the good days, including a Thanksgiving Day game against the Packers where Aikman was injured and Jason Garrett led a huge comback in the snow. It was pretty awesome.

As far as the Chiefs, despite what it might sound like at times on the air, I really want them to do well. I've gotten to know several of the players, and hate to see them down every time we're in the locker room. But in relation to the Cowboys, there's no comparison. I am a die-hard Cowboys fan, and I root for the Chiefs (at least every week except this one). I have lived in the KC area for seven years this December. Basically, the Cowboys are Scarlett Johansen to me, and the Chiefs are the hot waitress at the club.

While I'd really like to get with the hot waitress, there's nothing I wouldn't do for Scarlett.

B: I'll offer you a touche on the Scar-Jo. I'm more of a Charlize Theron guy myself,

but that's neither here nor there. Since my colleagues are Denver Bronco fans, and we frequently talk rivalry and hatred, give us a phrase or two for each of the other NFC East teams, something that really sums up your feelings for each squad.

C: As far as the other NFC East teams, the words I would use to describe them would be: Giants -- filthy, scum-of-the-Earth bastards; Eagles -- big-game chokers (but I do respect the way they've sustained that franchise); Redskins -- worthless losers. The Giants are and always will be the team I hate the most.

B: And now, your Cowboys. It seems like Dallas fans are going berserk because this team is 2-2, and, a lot of the blame is falling on Tony Romo. What caliber of signal-caller do you estimate Romo to be at at this point in his career? Top-tier? A notch below? Is it fair that he shoulder the blame for this team not being 4-0? Were you upset with him for trying to throw to Hurd on the final play against the Broncos last week?

C: Tony Romo is nothing but a fantasy QB. He'll put up decent stats, but when it's crunch-time, he's a loser. And I don't mean that as a personal attack, I mean as a guy who will never be a winner. When the games start to matter most, Tony Romo is usually at his worst. I don't think he'll ever be a big-time QB, and to be honest, I've never seen someone basically be labeled a superstar for doing less on the field. He's a product of the Cowboys-hype machine and Jessica Simpson, that's it. And don't even get me started on the back-to-back throws to Hurd in Denver. I don't care if Witten is triple-teamed, he's the best tight end in football right now, you take a shot at him over a scrub being covered by one of the top corners in the league. Freaking moron.

B: Okay. Witten over Gonzalez, eh? He might have better numbers through four weeks in 2009 (Editor's Note: Except not really), but agree to disagree.

What about your head coach? There are a lot of both satirical bloggers and even a few professional reporters that knock the guy pretty heavily. Is ol' Wade a wise and savvy leader for an NFL squad? Do his goofy looks occasionally taint the opinion some might have of him? If the wheels come off, will he last the season? What do you make of the whisperings of Mike Shanahan replacing him next season? Said whisperings, of course, were more abundant in the off-season.

C: Wade Phillips is a clown. Only Jerry Jones would have kept him after the Cowboys' collapse last season, and that's so he can keep pulling the puppet strings on his clueless coach. Worthless. I think when the Cowboys end up 9-7, Phillips will be done and Jones will go hard after Shanahan or Cowher, and he'll get one of them.

B: Speaking of your owner, your colleague Josh Klingler was interviewing a Dallas somebody or other this morning, and the agreed-upon notion was that Jerry Jones is a fantastic owner in many regards, except for the fact that he continues to want to GM this team, to be the main man of all football operations. Is it possible that we have another Al Davis in the making, or is all of that unfounded?

C: I love Jerry Jones...he will do whatever it takes to win. Money is never an issue, and while he makes some mistakes, I'd ratrher have an owner who is willing to take the chances than one like Clark Hunt who operates $30 million below the cap and clearly doesn't look like he's doing everything possible to bring a winner to KC. Jerry will never be an Al Davis. He's grooming his son to take over when he knows it's time, and I don't think he'll hang on and make a mockery of himself.

B: Fair enough. A big issue for this Sunday's game will be injuries. It sounds like Felix Jones is out, and Roy Williams, and Andre Gurode are questionable. Marion Barber seems iffy? This Tashard Choice kid has a bit of flash to him, but enough about Dallas. Given all of the changes that the Kansas City Chiefs have undergone since last December, what would you say is the most positive thing they have going for them right now?

C: The most positive thing the Chiefs have going for them is that Carl is gone. I don't know if that's the best thing to hang your hat on or not, but I can't sit here and say Pioli is a can't-miss, and Haley looks like a clown so far. Albert and Flowers were the two guys I had the highest hopes for this season, and they've both struggled so far.

B: Ouch. Addition by subtraction meets Haley=Phillips. That's brutal. Finally, though, we'll get a look at some throwback-uniform action this weekend. Are you a fan?

C: I love the throwback uniforms. In fact, the ones the Cowboys will wear are my favorite uniforms in the entire league. I wish there would be an entire season where every team wore the throwbacks.

B: And, of course, we'll need a score prediction from you.

C: Final score: Cowboys 27, Chiefs 17

B: Hmmm. Gonna have to say boo on that score, even if it's accurate as all get out. Actually, no. Screw that. I say it's closer: Cowboys 20, Chiefs 16. Either way, many thanks for your time, and keep up the good work on air.

Let's go Texans Chiefs!