Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Tradition Tuesday: NFL Hall to Unveil Hunt SB Gallery, Irritate BroncoCountry

This blog, believe it or not, has a rough focus: the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs (represent, represent) and the Denver Broncos (Cecil and Old No. 7). Why, you might ask, would you start a blog that "covers" two teams, and not put all your eggs of fandom into one basket? Well, I got an answer for you: Some nine years ago, the three of us -- having, at various rubs and oils intervals, matriculated at a college nestled in the foothills of southwest Colorado -- had had enough of the smack-talk once begotten in a newsroom, and decided to take our acts on the road. Therefore, when the Chiefs travel to whatever Denver's calling their stadium nowadays, I'm in the stands, clad in red hoots, and golden hollers. Cec' and 7 make their ways eastward to the mecca known as Arrowhead Stadium, where we view, in addition to a football game, sundry other activities, i.e., driving one-eyed toward the Ozarks with cold Wendy's, tipped port-a-potties, brawls in the stands, and, of course, plenty of chubby, snaggle-toothed hillbillies. While it is, in fact, a grand old time, it unfortunately only happens twice a year, and we are erstwhile dedicated to bringing you, our readers, a weekly state-of-the-rivalry address. This is that.

Double-mark your calendars for August 8, Chiefs fans. Not only will Derrick Thomas become the seventh Chief inducted, Canton, Ohio's Pro Football Hall of Fame will open the Lamar Hunt Super Bowl gallery in honor of the late Chiefs owner. The $2.4 million project will be dedicated solely to the Super Bowl, and will include highlights from every National Football League championship game, as well as displays, and a history of the NFL and American Football League merger. There will also be a Super Bowl Theater, that will include clips courtesy of NFL Films.

“This is a tremendous honor for our family and a meaningful tribute to my father’s contributions to the NFL’s showcase event,” Kansas City Chiefs chairman Clark Hunt said. “From naming the game and assigning its Roman numerals, to suggesting the name of the Lombardi Trophy, the development of the Super Bowl is a substantial piece of my father’s professional legacy, and we are very proud that this beautiful gallery will bear his name.”


I almost wish I had another trip to Canton on the books, because what a great weekend this will surely be. For Chiefs fans.

But what, you may be wondering, does this have to do with Broncos fans?

In a nutshell, very little. Inside this House, however, it could serve the purpose of pissing off an entire fan base, at very least, one, or both, of my colleagues. Said colleagues, mind you, will be pissed because of one, or more, of the following reasons:

1) They honestly think that Lamar Hunt inadvertently killed John F. Kennedy.

2) They're bitter because Shannon Sharpe was snubbed in last year's H.O.F. voting.

3) Seven Chiefs to two Broncos certainly spells "conspiracy."

4) Derrick Thomas collected his paycheck by annihilating ol' Horse-Faced Colts Draft.

5) As a Chiefs fan, I'm lame because I won't be there for the ceremony, fields of dreams, bloach stories, and trunks of tees in tow.

6) A Super Bowl Gallery should be named after the owner of a franchise whose team has won a championship a) since women's suffrage, b) after the Civil Rights movement, c) later than the date in which color television was invented, d) post-leather helmets, and e) without cheating via Gatorade consumption.

7) The epic Denver off-season perhaps put Kansas City ahead of the Broncos on the road to the next AFC West championship.

8) CutlerSoldier's new team has won more (pre-and post-merger) championships than his previous club, and will likely guide them to another.

9) Broncos GM Colonel Xanders has a name that makes one think of fried chicken, but in actuality, he knows nothing culinary in comparison to Chiefs GM Hoseah Pioli.

10) The losing streak, come January 3, will be over!

In conclusion, take note of my efforts: I craftily plucked a paragraph and-a-half from The Kansas City Star's Randy Covitz, plopped it in between yet another rendition of the TT intro, and slapped a Top Ten list beneath it, thus cementing myself into the category of the 73 percenters. If you were expecting something more professional, you should never have come here in the first place. That said, don't forget, you're always welcome inside our House.

10 comments:

Dylan said...

Bank,
A true plagairist never tips his hand like that. Just steal baby! Steal! "Low media" doesn't bother themselves with antiquated rules.

I've also asked aloud the Hunt-Kennedy connection. What is it? As a retired KC (kennedy conspiritorialist) I've heard all the angles on the asassination. I could only surmise the "Texas oilman" angle where the cabal of Texas oilmen eliminated their ideological foe. Texas oilmen ain't no joke either, especially when they put their oily, little minds together. See U.S. foreign policy, 2003-present.

So do you think the less ambitious 66.66% of the HOG used the "Insert enemy owner here _______." trick or do they have some new tantillizing n' truthy facts? Or are they merely crackers?
DKC

Jason said...

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Let me know if this is possible.

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Jason

Cecil said...

Hunt was indeed part of the cabal of Texas oilmen that hated Kennedy--it was because they lost their oil depletion allowance.

This is something that, for whatever reason, is largely ignored in recent American history. It's odd, especially in light of how much of a political football oil was/is/will be. But basically, up until the mid '60s, the big guys in the oil industry basically paid no taxes. None. Go ahead and google it--it's remarkable to what extent extraction industries (of all kinds--just look at Colorado's many Superfund sites) got a free pass until very recently.

The following is from a Kennedy conspiracy site. All of these guys have axes to grind, obviously, but this is the substance of the theory:

"The KGB now had some details as to which members of the American right had been behind the murder. In late November a highly regarded Polish intelligence source, an American businessman who owned a series of companies, informed the Poles that three wealthy Texas oil wildcatters-Sid Richardson, Clint Murchison, and Harold Lafayette Hunt-had organized the plot against President Kennedy. All three were noted sponsors of southern racist and "pro-fascist" organizations." Moreover, a law passed in October 1962 had angered the oil industry by removing the tax provisions that had allowed profits reinvested abroad to be treated differently from repatriated oil profits. The oil lobby expected the situation to worsen in 1963. In talking up tax reform, Kennedy had implied that the oil industry's beloved oil depletion allowance was vulnerable.

The KGB soon received more information that implicated Hunt. In early December, Paul W. Ward, the longtime diplomatic correspondent of the Baltimore Sun, told a KGB informant that the Texas oilman Hunt headed the group that decided to have Kennedy killed. According to Ward, Hunt had instructed Jack Ruby in the name of the group to offer Oswald a large amount of money to kill the president. Fearing Oswald's capture, Ruby was to persuade Oswald to hide this contract from his (Oswald's) wife and his mother. Ruby, who was friendly with Oswald, knew that the young man was having money trouble, could not hold a job, and needed assistance to maintain his family. Oswald "was a most appropriate figure for staging the terrorist act against Kennedy because of his past -- he implicated the USSR, Cuba, and the Communist Party of the US."

old no. 7 said...

Just because he paid to have a president murdered doesn't mean Lamar Hunt wasn't a damn good owner.

Cecil said...

Yep. And Mussolini made the trains run on time.

Cecil said...

Although, for the sake of accuracy, I should say that the major figure in this was not Lamar but his dad, H.L., who was one of those profoundly un-democratic individuals that the right wing still celebrates as being a True 'Murikan.

Still, though, Kennedy. Dead. And by no means was it "inadvertent." You make it sound like I think Lamar accidentally choked him out during some mutual auto-erotic asphyxiation.

bankmeister said...

I didn't make it sound like anything. And, naturally, the only truth in this matter is the abundance of crack-rock cocaine going around in Colorado.

Cecil said...

"They honestly think that Lamar Hunt inadvertently killed John F. Kennedy."

Inadvertent=they didn't mean to. If they did, and they probably didn't (although who knows? My old perfesser said it was the Cubans/Mob combo, with a dash of CIA thrown in for spice), it was most definitely *not* inadvertent.

bankmeister said...

Ah. Thought you were referring to commenters. I've always felt it was the CIA.

Cecil said...

The CIA was probably involved as well. I think the reason no one can untangle that Gordian Knot is that there were so many, many threads...

My prof had made a career out of studying Kennedy and Nixon. Old fella used to wheel his oxygen tank into the classroom, put up his notecards in sequence on the chalkboard, and proceed with what I thought--at least at the time--was fucking outlandish conspiracy nonsense.

But after a whole semester of it, man, I started to come around. He was balls-deep in that shit. Which is a mighty unpleasant image.

The book "Sons and Brothers" by one of the minor Kennedys/Kennedy associates is pretty flipping awesome if you ever come across it. I have a copy if I can ever remember to give it to you...