We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: Happy Hour

Don't tell me you came up in to this House on a Wednesday thinkin' you weren't gonna get a WAHCW fix. I'll be the first to call you crazy. And the last. It is, of course, hump day, and there are bountiful reasons to be happy for that. Obviously, the work week's half over. Also, we're one day closer to the All-Star break, which means one day closer to getting it over with, and one day closer to the playoffs, and one day closer to football season. Or, maybe you had a funeral to attend today, or your boss jumped down your throat the minute you walked into the office. Or maybe, you're just a fan of happy hour. If the latter's the case, join us, post-jump.

Brittany Blakely



Happy Hour, wherever it may be, is great for many a reason. Loosen the tie, undo the blouse, and unwind.

Denise Milani



Wait a minute: If you're Denise Milani, don't undo the blouse,



unless there's room on your credit card for about $700 in glasswear.

Monica Hansen



There's always ambience at the bar during the late afternoon hours, even if it's only in the form of getting "your" booth.

Sheena Stiles



One of my favorite practices is to secretly lay down in it when I'm the first one there. A 15-minute catnap'll set you up good for a few hours of drinking.

Thea Coleman



A good booth seat will typically give you a good view of the joint, too. Maybe you spot an outdoor table you'd like. Maybe it's a table occupied by a Coleman not named Gary.

Viktoria Metzker



If your favorite watering hole has a lounge with retro furniture, though, it's likely hard to give that spot up.

Aria Giovanni



Perhaps some of readers in more tropical locales live near a good pool bar.



Perhaps we don't actually have any readers in tropical locales, but you can't blame a guy for dreamin'.

Amanda Hanshaw



I'm ultra-loyal when it comes to giving my local bar my money.



That loyalty can be bought, though.



If Miss Hanshaw's bellied up at the joint I walk past to get to my bar, for example.

AJ Alexander



Even introverts like Happy Hour. I've heard of small circles getting together in a study for a cocktail. Heard of it, but never been invited.

Andreea Mantea



You know what's really messed up, though, is dudes that go to the same dive over and over again to see the same smokin' hot bartender.



I will never, ever, in a million years be that dude.



Unless Andreea works there.

Carrie LaChance



Most Happy Hour joints have that token gorgeous regular, too, and that's fine. Dudes get used to it,

Danielle Richardson



until that one day they bring in their friend. The regulars lose all sense of self-control. The bar sells more liquor, and the keeps get more tips.

Farabe Cottingham



Most bars will have about 98% of their televisions on sports channels, too.



There's always that one with the exercise show, with the hot instructor that you just kind of stare at, even though you despise that sort of program. Ah, sweet afternoon buzz.

Gemma Massey



Gemma Massey's the customer that pulls up in the parking lot, alone. You spot her car, you envision the smooth conversation you'll have with her, all the way up until she walks past the window and goes in some other door.

Georgia Jones



Miss Jones. Miss Jones is that gal that's been with more than one regular at your bar, and it disgusts you. Mostly because one of them wasn't you, but you are grossed. Out.

Michelle McMurry



Maybe you live on the coast and you knock off early and hit the beach with a six-pack in your cooler.



Or maybe Michelle is just random bar poster girl on the wall across from your stool.

Samantha Whitfield



Samantha? She's the hot ex of that one obnoxious regular that talks about her the whole time he's in the bar, swilling Bud Light after Bud Light, every time he's in the bar.

Santana Rose



The young, lovely Miss Rose. She's the tender vixen every dude in the joint would literally give a kidney to bang, but nobody whispers a peep since,



she's cocktailing, and, uh, the owner's daughter.

Toni Esposito



The Esposito Factor is what happens when that one female customer, the one you've seen at the bar for like seven Wednesdays in a row comes in. Only on this day, she's wearing something completely different than anything you've ever seen her wear. Let's just say you're thankful to be sitting at a high top on this day.

Veronica Ricci



Miss Ricci's the one-drinker. She hits all the Happy Hour joints in town, four out of five days a week, yet no one ever meets anyone that's hit that. Strange.

And that's it for today. Please come back next week. We'll have dollar draws, two-fifty wells, and three-dollar mystery shots. Salud!