Wednesday Whatnot: The Professor Likes it Griese

I suppose now would be a good time to start throwing around excuses for why we at the House of Georges are such lazy slobs -- 10 posts in the last 17 days -- and the best one I can come up with is the combination of 90-degree weather and cirrhosis. The duo's a tasty breakfast treat, lemme tell ya'.

But, yeah. We're lazy, the NBA and NHL post-seasons have wrapped up, and now is the time of year where most professional sports bloggers begin dropping lines with words like "doldrums" and phrases like "pretty slow day" or "not much going on." Personally, we'd like to put the kibosh on all that jazz and let you know that we are not afraid of our laziness. Not one bit. We must, however, thwart our tendencies when the HoG's poster child makes the headlines. Get the bite on this line, just past the jump.

Kyle Farnsworth, in case you didn't know, is a relief pitcher for the Kansas City Royals. It has been well-documented that he likes to scrap. Allow me to be the first to say, that I would be motherfucking ringside if Farnsworth got into the MMA ring with Jared Allen, who has been quoted in the papers and today on Jim Rome saying the following:

"I want to fight Jose Canseco," Allen said. "I would drop Jose Canseco where he stands today."

But I digress. The topic was, of course, Professor Farnsworth, who found himself injured the other day by man's best friend, his own dog. This of course, is reminiscent of the first of some 10-now Horse-Faced Colts Draft successors, be they tabbed with Messiah-age or not, Brian Griese. The story on Farnsworth is here, and here are three highlights from it:

Farnsy's canines are named Rambo and Strike. Need I go on?

"Farnsworth injured his left, non-pitching hand when one of his pet American bulldogs bit him as he tried to break up a fight between the two canines. He suffered cuts to his index finger and the bites went deep enough to reach, but not cut, a tendon."

Farnsworth once broke his foot in the Cubs bullpen. The club says it was part of a pitching warm-up. Other rumors suggest that he was either punting footballs or kicking around baseballs like a hackey sac. And my personal favorite is the allegation that The Professor was once caught catching some Zs in the Cubs clubhouse, a result perhaps of his extravagant Wrigleyville nightlife.

Anyway, doesn't look like ol' Kyle will miss any action, which is fantastic because I can't wait to see what happens on his next outing, the one that will follow the extra-innings walk-off seagull-ball appearance.