Going Fetal

A good enough title. Especially since I'm currently listening to the Eels' song of the same name. Don't know much about The Eels? Here. I know, I know, myspace is lamey lame lame, but check it out anyway. Especially "Prizefighter" and "In My Dreams" from Hombre Lobo.

In other news, I'm still unemployed and my neck hurts. Thanks a lot, gym. Turns out you weren't so great for my physical well-being after all, were you? At least I now have a stack of prescription drugs. If I'd had this injury as a young man I wouldn't have lived through it. They'd have found me with a cluster of percocet and valium on my tongue, a bellyful of Schaefer and a goofy smile on my grill.

Supposedly we're to be working on yet another themed feature, something about baseball and midseason reports and such-like, but I'm gonna put that off indefin--er, for a little while and offer instead some random linkery. Because, well, that's easy. And my neck hurts. Follow after jump, plz.

Adam Schein, who used to massively overrate the Broncos under Shanahan, has some particularly ridiculous projections for Chicago's receivers now that Jay-Jay is in town.

This list is pure bullshit. Gossage at #5? Unfuckingbelievable. Sorry, I don't buy the fancy ERAs and save numbers that the Hoffmans and the Riveras of the world put up these days--they simply don't do the same job that Gossage, Fingers, even Eckersley did. If The Goose had only faced three batters a game during his career, the second-best fireman of all time wouldn't be able to see him with a telescope.

Is there a more noxious columnnist than Gregg Doyel? He can take a reasonable point, and by the time he's finished you want to hit him in the face with a sack of doorknobs.

Bill Williamson makes up for being a talent-free hack by calling the Kansas City franchise by its rightful name.

JaMarcus Russell=no leader. I can't say I'm terribly frightened by any team that looks to start Jeff Garcia.

A portly scout named Rob Rang has high hopes for Falphonso Smith.

Matt Bowen of The National Football Post says, to no one's surprise, that Denver's D is on the heated chair...but so, in his opinion, is Chicago's. That ought to disappoint the Ditkas clogging up ESPN's message boards who are all still living in 2004.

This servile piece of "journalism" sprang from the keyboard of one Carol Slezak, currently occupying a desk at my dad's old newspaper. She might as well have ended it with "BEAR DOWN CHICAGO BEARS!" I mean, the Denver sports media has issues aplenty, but when was the last time one of our locals sucked off a player that blatantly? Even Woody Paige thinks this is over the top.

And finally, yours truly's other bloggin' gig.