Monday, November 17, 2008

Monday Mutiny: Gooooooooooo Broncos!

Two thousand eight, how will I gaze upon thee 20 years from now? I have a feeling that words cannot describe how, simply because those words haven't yet been invented. That is, our language is so stale, so devoid of freshness, that even our curse words have shifted in terms of acceptance. By 2028, I am certain that there will be new curses, new insulting gestures, and a newish lists of the seven deadlies, and all of those things will be used to describe the Kansas City Chiefs under Herm Edwards' tenure. No, this isn't the beginning of another Herm-bashing piece, but it is where I say, hey Joe -- that hope, the flashes of possibility the Chiefs gave us the past three weeks, was pure falseness.

I'm not even going to break the game down or look at stats or talk about Larry Johnson's return to the team or rah-rah the "new look" of the Chiefs offense. You know things are really, really bad when you think the following: Jason Whitlock of The Kansas City Star said it all. The Kansas City Chiefs are pure losers.

"The losing makes us all look and feel like losers. Plus, we have no gurantee this patch of wretchedness will usher in change we can believe in."

Count it. Jackpot. I'm a Chiefs fan, therefore, I am a loser. I have found myself spurting different blasts of emotion about the AFC West in the past few weeks, and yesterday was no exception. I had some strange feeling leading up to this game that this would be the week the Chiefs ended the stretch of losing. I was wrong, and therefore, I am a loser for allowing myself to think that. I've been hoping for this team to get a couple of recent wins to get us out of last place, leapfrog the Raiders. For most of yesterday afternoon, the Raiders looked like they'd beat the Miami Dolphins, winners of one game a year ago. With 38 seconds left, the Dolphins kicked a game-winning field goal, and the Raiders lost, making them losers to a squad of recent losers, and me an even greater loser for hoping for that. The San Diego Chargers, often touted as a talented, stacked team, could not beat the Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday, making them the worst second-place team in the league. Well, outside of the NFC West, anyway. They, too, though, are losers.

Then, there are the Atlanta Falcons, a surprising team out of the NFC South that manhandled the Chiefs in late September, a team that has seen authentic hope in the likes of Matt Ryan and Michael Turner. All day, they led their contest at home against the Denver Broncos, only to lose it late in the game. This of course, keeps the Broncos in first place in the West, making the whole mess of things a Loserville for citizens to wallow in, a Loser City where the odds are always stacked against you.

A look at the standings today shows the NFC North as the division with the worst first-place team, but in that division are the 0-10 Lions, and three 5-5 clubs all tied -- tie-breaking scenarios aside -- for first. That means that the competition is tougher there, ultimately leaving the Denver Broncos as the worst first-place club in football. Those Broncos, the only club to lose to the loser Chiefs, can pretty much set the cruise control, and coast into a division title. And I am going to root for just that.

Don't get me wrong, though. I don't like the Denver Broncos. I just want them to win the division, so that I can enjoy every minute of the post-season pummelling they will endure in January, which only makes my wife, a loser for marrying me, the proud owner of a garment like this:


Kyle said...

"All day, they led their contest at home against the Denver Broncos, only to lose it late in the game."

False. Broncos led, then Falcons led, then Broncos led, then Falcons led, then Broncos led. The AP Writers just like to say "second come-from-behind victory on the road" kinda crap. To my enjoyment.

Anyway, I'm distraught over this whole division-winning thing. The Broncos aren't going to the Super Bowl. I know this. 99% of fans know this.

But winning the division means that Norv Turner gets FIRED.

And that's something that no one in the AFC West wants.

bankmeister said...

Oh. Well, I wasn't quoting the AP, or anything. I didn't even watch the game. Must've been by coincidence that every time I saw a score, Atlanta was in the lead. Until of course I saw the (F). Stupid Falcons.