We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: Put It On Craig'sList

If you're anything like me (Editor's Note: May God bless you.), you've moved around a lot in the last 15 years, hauling boxes and tubs of crap from one basement to another. When I shed my singledom and moved in with the wife, the ever-looming project of sorting through my U-Haul's worth of basement junk hovered over the household for the better part of a year and-a-half. Last weekend, we dove into the project, and I've managed to amaze the both of us with the slop I've schlepped around over the years. In some sense, I long for the days of the one-trip move when I could fit everything I owned in the short bed of my pickup. But now, thanks to the ListeriesofCraig, I can get some American currency for my no-longer-desired piles of rubbish instead of watching the poorer than we (Note: May God really bless them.) root through it at the edge of my lawn in the streetlit evening.

Here's the thing with Craig'sList, though: It can be downright creepy. I mean, you might as well take out a classified that says, "Hey, here's my name, e-mail address, phone number, and an inventory of what I might own." At least, that's pretty much what happens when people want your shit. A few folks have wanted to meet in public, perhaps afraid that I might butcher their bodies into small parcels, then sell them on CL. Most, however, are like, "Where you live at, Broseph?" And I tell them, and they come over. There've been some interesting folks swinging by the HoG headquarters the past few days, and much to my chagrin, notta one of 'em looked like any of today's contestants.

Alektra Blue



When Alektra knocked on my door, I opened it, and promptly forgot a) what she said, b) what she was doing there, c) what my name was, and d) all of the above.



And then she reminded me.



I couldn't sell her my ax, though, because I'd already promised it to Amy Reid.



She actually wanted the six-string and my bass, so that was easy enough.

Celeste Star



When Amy came by to pick them up, she brought Celeste along for the ride.



She got a bit pouty, though, when I told her that my goods were spoken for.

Cindy Taylor



Miss Taylor was interested in a blanket we posted.



Insert token joke of your choice about bundling her up for winter,



and do the same regarding her "trying out" my couch.

Debbie Beal



Debbie was one of those Craig'sListers that shows interest, makes plans to meet for the exchange, then no-shows. It's quite the intricate stand-up.

Diana Doll



Diana Doll was a bit odd. Apparently, she had some products on the market. I could not afford them.

Gemma Massey



I had a bunch of computer goods I wanted to pawn off, and Miss Massey wanted the monitor.

Georgia Jones



So did Georgia Jones, though. When she found out it was gone, I offered to give her my tower for free,



and she promptly never called me again.



She did send an e-mail though, and encouraged me not to offer strangers the shirt off my back, as apparently that's her job.

Hillary Fischer



Hillary tried to trade me some Mardi Gras beads for some speakers. I told her it would cost her $50 bucks to give me those beads for the speakers. Believe me when I say, "She bought it."

Julie Alexandratou



Julie was interested in some of my furniture as well.



I mean, she really liked it.



I told her it was all hers, under one condition:



I come with it.

Jessica DeCarlo



Jessica actually lives across the street (Note: They have quite the extravagant pond in their yard.). When she came over and asked what I was doing, my response was, "Not earning enough money for a divorce lawyer; please go home."

Laura Leigh



I think Laura Leigh was a bag lady in a past life.



She wanted absolutely everything,



and frankly, I was in no position to deny her.



I won't speak for her and say that she'll be a repeat customer,



but she left with a smile,



and gave me her card.

Layla Taylor



Miss Taylor was looking for vehicle accessories. Miss Taylor did not get the memo that I was without a vehicle.

Louise Glover



Speaking of non-memo getters, Old No. 7 once professed his love for Louise.



I'm not certain why.



It's not as if she's ridiculously attractive,



or appealing in any sort of way.



But be it brunette, or sandy blond, she goes under the "Wanted" section of Seven's CL ad.

Marketa Brymova


Back to the point, though. Marketa needed some pants; I had none that fit her.

Sandra Nilsson



Sandra bought my old Nintendo and my PlayStation,



though I had the damndest time selling her on a game of naked Twister.

Spencer Scott



Spencer Scott wanted my old laptop, and rang my doorbell dressed just like this. No kidding. I just saved myself the headache and took myself to jail.

Victoria Ivanova



When I advertised a pair of old VCRs, I didn't think I'd find any takers.



Victoria showed me that both were worth good money,



and I suddenly felt compelled to pop some wood corn.



She left with a heavier load then when she came; my load was lighter.

Victoria Kruz


Miss Kruz was looking for any accessory that would enhance the decor of her or her home. Luckily, the wife hasn't noticed that her hooker boots have gone missing. Cha-ching!

Thanks to Gorilla Mask and DailyNiner, who always make posting things on Craig'sList take much longer than they should.