We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: Givin' Thanks
Oh, sweet Turkey day. What grace and goodness you bestow upon us as American people. The House of Georges would like to bestow upon you and yours the greatest of feasts with the bestest of family and friends, and we'd also like to gently urge you to pitch in and lend a hand. Four score and who knows how long ago, Thanksgiving used to be about the women in the kitchen slaving for hours, frequently days over cornish game hens -- if that's how you roll -- and more side dishes and pies than any city block could shake a drumstick at. This, of course, all occurred, while men gathered in the den, guzzled beer, and pretended to care about the Detroit Lions and the Dallas Cowboys. Given that I'm somewhat of a modern man, and I couldn't feign interest in these two teams if my life depended upon it, I tend to help out. I'll cook, set the table, do the dishes, run an errand. Whatever's needed to make things smoother for those in charge as I've yet to be in charge of my own feast, and for that, I am thankful. If and when I do host, however, I imagine I'll need a hand. And today, naturally, we're graced with some examples of the kind of folk of which I speak.
Alison Waite
Alison Waite is a master of mashed potatoes. Be it chive-and-cheddar, roasted-garlic, or traditional, she can whip up some spuds like no one else.
Ana Hickman
Whether you call it dressing or stuffing, Ana's the lady to call. She can dress your stuffing, or stuff your dressing. However you like.
Angela Jennings
Miss Jennings is all up on the yams. As much as I tried to get persuade her to let me get all up on hers, I had to let her have it her way.
Bianca Gascoigne
Bianca's kind of useless in the kitchen. She does a find job of keeping the men on the couch entertained though, so she gets a perennial invite.
Calli Taylor
Calli's got the cornbread casserole down pat. I told her I had some extras in the cupboard if she needed me to throw something in there. She politely declined.
Candice Cardinele
Candice Cardinele handles all things sweet potatoes. Sweet potato pie, fried sweet potatoes, sweet potato mash -- as you can see, her hands are full.
Carli Banks
Miss Banks handles the pumpkin pie. Whatever you do, don't assume she uses the canned stuff; her ingredients are real, fresh, and real fresh.
Danielle Lloyd
I don't know what Danielle does, but she's around for every holiday. I'm guessing she garnishes the cornucopia.
Diana Kaufmann
Miss Kaufmann takes care of the beans, and she sweats over them as they blanch, then shocks them before adding her secret ingredients. Like the beans, I find myself shocked at her baking attire.
Donna Feldman
Donna acts as a hostess. She makes every guest feel welcome as they arrive.
Georgia Jones
Georgia heads up the cleaning crew. She's been known to take pots and utensils into the shower and just hose them down. Lucky gadgets.
Irina Sheik
While she opts not for the hairnet, Irina puts out one heck of a plate of cranberries. Even though I hate them, I pretend to find them scrumptious, as she's one woman I'd never want to disappoint.
Jana Cova
Jana's on poultry patrol. She has no qualms putting her hands into orifii, and she's good with a baster, too.
Jessica DeCarlo Round
Jessica mans the bread. She makes one mouth-watering dinner roll, and they seldom need buttering, but I ask her to butter mine for me anyway.
Kait Lane
Miss Lane also works the dessert angle, only her specialty is peach, and rest assured, her pie is the sweetest peach you've ever tasted.
Kayden Kross
Kayden's in charge of beverages. She'll keep your wine glass full, as well as her own, and she can always be counted on for smuggling some Jameson into the TV room.
Kim Smith
Kim's another dressing connoisseur. We always have two types, though: one for the vegetarian's, and Kim's, which we always take delight in aiding her to stuff it with sausage.
Kyla Turqueza
Miss Turqueza brings paella. In her country, of which we are uncertain, they don't do the turkey and fixins, but what she brings to the table is delightful, and we always clear a spot for her.
Lindsay Marie
Lindsay's dish is a spectrum of color. It's some take on a cranberry salad, and nobody eats it. Well, nobody but the dogs.
Mirella Grisales
Mirella Grisales makes the pecan pie. We're usually full from stuffing our faces with everyone else's pie, but she be puttin' some whipped cream on it, and we be eatin' it anyway.
Nikki Nova
Nikki stirs the gravy. She doesn't make it; she just works it.
Peta Todd
Peta's the actual lady behind the gravy. Someone once suggested that we combine the two roles and have a less-crowded house. We quickly uninvited that someone.
Sophia Santi
Sophia Santi brings some sort of Spanish beverage. I believe it's called Sangria.
Tori Black
Miss Black brings pudding. No one knows why. No one also says nothing.
Tyran Richard
Tyran contributes a variety of pre-meal appetizers. They're all rather disgusting, but we don't mind.
Ursula Mayes
Miss Mayes knows all about tryptophan, and assists with getting everyone into napping position once we're too full and tired to move on our own.
And that's your take on the House of Georges Thanksgiving meal ensemble. Thanks to Gorilla Mask for the furniture, and DailyNiner for the plateware. Gobble, gobble!
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