Friday, September 26, 2008

Sleeping With the Enemy: Week Four, Broncos @ Chiefs

This is a very special week for the House of Georges, as our two clubs face off on Sunday, and we're going out of our way to provide minimal coverage of the contest. We're not so lazy, though, that we wouldn't even deliver one installment of "Sleeping With the Enemy." That would be ri-donc-u-lous. I've taken the lumps of pain and agony to sit down with a Denver fan, who of course I'm automaticallly required to hate. Worse, though, is that he calls Kansas City home, thus upping my levels of forced despite. For the purposes of this exchange, our guest selected the sobriquet "Diez y Cinco," likely in an effort to show his love for one snow-throwing, woman-beating, drunk-driving, McDonald's-bag slipping, self-loving Brandon Marshall, wide out for the Denver Broncos. And for the cave dwellers, this is an effort to mimic the trials of another stand-up NFLer who goes by, went by, goes by again jersey purchases pending will some day be remembered (I think) as Chad Johnson. For the record, it is engrained in me to point out the wrong in everything associated with the mile-high franchise, even if it's a fan, one that shared his time with the House of Georges, nonetheless. And that is this: If one wishes to say "fifteen" in Spanish, the appropriate term is quince, and not diez y cinco, but I expect nothing less from the fan of a ref-bribing, chop-blocking bunch of dummies who may or may not have won a championship or two since I've been alive. Anyway...

Bankmeister: Tell us, please, the fascinating story of how you came to be a Broncos fan, one that lives in Kansas City no less. It's been an interesting start to the season for us fans of AFC West teams. The Chargers, having just pulled off win number one this evening, were stunned by back-to-back last-minute losses. This obviously put a hitch in their stride as your team of orange and blue has notched three straight wins, and looked, more or less, like an offensive machine. I had a hunch this would be Cutler's year, but he seems to be getting better protection than I anticipated from his o-line. Of course Clady was a huge addition, but talk about the play of those other four guys thus far. Also, it's clear that Eddie Royal is a stud. My colleague Cecil was hyping him up throughout the pre-season, but for him to come in and be such a presence (especially in week one in Marshall's absence) this early is amazing. His play, coupled with that of B-Marsh is downright frightening. How can they be stopped? And don't say they can't.

Diez y Cinco: Well Mister Meister, first off thank you for having me. Your invite is an honor, and you're Web site is an insiration that Chefs and Donkeys can truly live in harmony. (Editor's Note: The House of Georges, or any of its staff do not agree with or resemble anything associated with that remark.) Well, I, like any true Broncos fan, became one through birthright. Born in Aurora, Colorado, a suburb right outside the Denver area, my adopted grandparents out there instilled in me a passion for one of the most entertaining sports teams of all time. With the amazing comeback kid, more affectionately known throughout the country as "Horse Face," leading us through pretty much all of my adolescence, it was easy to stay a stalwart fan. In my ever-changing life as a military brat, the ever-present image of Elway striding down the field in the last moments of a game always gave me a connection to home. And when we finally ended up being transferred to this wonderful city, everyone just opened up their arms for us...until they found out my dark secret of Donkey Love. Then the slander and jeers commenced.

Lucky for me during my sophomore and junior years, we proceeded to go to the big game back to back and win both. That gave me all the ammunition I needed to silence any Chiefs fans who would begin to slang the proverbial poo. When it would start to fly forth from their lips, all I would respond with was a simple, "And the last time your illustrious squad was Super Bowl-bound, Gatorade was invented. Correct?" (Note: High marks for originality; never heard that one before. Ever.) Tails would snap between legs and feet would run furiously for the door. Now onto the post-Elway era. Very difficult to watch at first, which is easily understandable, rebuilding after a great leaves isn't always as easy as putting in he who backed him up. The quarterback rotation would ensue and demoralize us for the next couple years. But then hope arrived in the form of a goofy-looking kid (gotta beat you to the punch) out of Vanderbilt. Cutler was his name, and his arm was quite strong, but just not steady, who, in his fist game he started looked quite progressable, going 10 of 21 for 137 yards and two TDs and two INTs, one of those TDs to #15 Brandon Marshall, another rookie on the team, who we'll get to later. Luckily I happened to be in Denver on this night, so envisioning the future was actually enjoyable. Ending the year 81 of 137 for 1,001 yards, the man-child proved he was worth the first-round pick.

And progress he did, his first full year was quite the step, 297 of 467, 3,497 passing yards, 20 TDs and 14 interceptions, this man grew into his stirrups. Now, as the media has no interest in stopping with telling us, with his diabetes under control he looks downright amazing. Behind Shanahan's (I know it's quite late to finally be mentioning this great man as well, but his successes just seem to speak for themselves (146-95 overall, 8-5 postseason -- oh yeah and those rings!)) masterful workings of the o-line, as you've pointed out, he has all day to hit his targets. Clady of course being the easiest to mention as he was a first-round draft pick, and an excellent one at that. And then Wiegmann being a free agent was a huge help to us as Pro Bowler C Nalen is on I/R with a knee injury. Then Kuper, Harris, and Hamilton, are just having stellar seasons as well, with Cutler only feeling the turf once so far this season.

This is my favorite part: the receivers. Who to start with? We'll follow your lead and go with Mr. Royal. It was quite easy to see in the pre-season that this kid was impressive. With B. Marshall's off-field antics having us all worried who Cutler would turn to, it was quite nice to see this young man step up. A rookie with his speed and his hands used to be almost unprecedented, especially to start over veteran Brandon Stokley. But this kid truely shined. Especially in that first-game win over Oakland with the 146 yards and one TD all eyes were on him and his speed. Probably would be double teamed if not for the aforementioned Stokley, the not-yet-mentioned TE tandem of Scheffler and Graham, both capable receivers, and the shortened suspension of, my man and number-one receiver in the league (please stay out of trouble!), Sir Brandon Marshall. This giant of a man just overwhelms most defenders, at 6' 4", 230 lbs, you often see DBs just shoulder-height to him. His career has just been impressive. Hampered early with injuries, the man bounced back strong in 2007 with 1,325 yards. And now, in just the two games this year, 24 catches for 321 yards and 2 TDs pretty much just speaks for itself. His knowledge of holes in the D, his progressing chemistry with Cutler, and the fact Cutler seeems to look for him on every down, he'll just keep the stats going. You ask how to stop this powerful offense? Tie chairs to cheetahs and balance quite well.

B: Okay. I have absolutely no idea what that means, but the rest of it's well-thought-out stuff, 15. The offensive capabilities are no secret; that we can agree on. Let's talk defense, though. The Chargers and the Saints, even if their efforts came in spurts, were able to almost score at will. I think it's safe to say that a few other teams might have the same successes against your Broncos. As most coaches will tell you, it starts with stopping the run, which, when you play the Saints doesn't really count because they're seldom handing off for those north-south runs, rather dumping screens to Bush in the flat, etc. LaDainian Tomlinson and Darren Sproles ran for a bit of success, as did Justin Fargas in week one. This run defense needs to find better way to plug the gaps, and get off the field. In the secondary, Champ is still any Denver fan's bukkake daydream, but Dre Bly awaits rights to the patent of "suckiest Bronco with six letters in his name." How will Denver improve on that side of the ball? This includes the middle of the field, too, as I've yet to see much pass rush from the 'backers?

15: Ah yes, the ugly side of the team. From back in the days of being the Orange Crush to the patheticness of becoming the Orange Slush. How easily this team can give up a 17-point lead in one quarter is one of the most pain-staking and stomach-turning events of all. I won't even be as polite as you were and point out Champ's never-ending shut down cornerness, because Bly, as far as i've seen, opens up the field. Then the stopping of the run. The only way I can see us stopping the run in the future is a new line. The reformed Cleveland Brown line that Shanahan thought would be so awesome, simply wasn't. Giving up nearly 1,265 yards, 10 touchdowns, with only one sack over the three games...those stats are just a hair short of what our all-mighty offense has produced. DJ williams is the only semi-impressive LB I've happened to even catch the name of. It has been my horror to have such a powerful offense show up, to be followed by such a porous defense. How high can our offense really score seems to be the question as we go into Jacksonville, New England, and Carolina. Maybe Coach has a few defensive tricks up his windbreaker, but I doubt it. I miss the days of old...wait, i'm beginning to sound a little like a Chiefs fan.

B: Hilarious. Since time is of the essence, a few parting thoughts for you to chew on: 1) Will a featured back emerge from the trio of Hall, Pittman, and Young, or will the Rat continue to use the three when and where they're best suited? 2) If you project the team's three-week performance over the course of the season, is Cutler your 2008 MVP? If not, who? 3) How will this Chiefs game shake down? Will Denver manhandle KC, or will it be a dogfight?

15: Well, I know I want to grab that third one first, but that's just rivalry talking. So I'll go in order: 1) I believe he will go for the three-man "Colorado shuffle." They've just got a good combination of running skills. Hall and Young are the faster of the three. With them two switching out, fourth-quarter exhaustion is less of a factor. Throw in a strong, smash-mouth, downhill runner like Pittman in goal-line situations, and everyone stays healthy and less likely to lose play calling should an injury arise. Sadly we might not see a 1,000-yard back, but with the blocking scheme, and yet again the aforementioned o-line, each back will still be quite adept at helping to keep third downs under 5 yards. 2) So, far of course. His co-stars on the line give him time to survey the field and make the intelligent passes. His ability to scramble if the seldom-seen pressure is actually applied, and then add to that the strength of his arm so that cross-body passes can be thrown downfield while on the run, the man is quite the athlete. Now I'm not saying league MVP quite yet, but it's always a back-of-the-mind hope. 3) And now the fun one: First, it depends, which of your non-injured quarterbacks is starting? Man, oh man, considering I will be at the game, in full Broncos attire, I'd love to say it will just be a curb stomping of utmost proportion, but I'm not sure I can.

Cheering proudly and extraordinarily loudly next to my fellow Broncos fan everytime the ball is kicked into the arms of our returner, with the knowledge that the strongest offense in the league will soon step onto the field, will be a tiresome and enjoyable activity each and every time. But then as the six and subsequent seven points are put onto the board, my voice will quiet in fear of the oncoming travesty, and subsequent surrounding trash talking that will follow. The beer will not be nearly enough to drown out that most horrible of all touchdown songs if it resounds throughout the stadium. While I don't think the Chiefs have a high chance of winning, I'm still uncertain if our luck will hold out if it's close. How many bad calls and missed field goals can one team truly have before the football gods turn away? I pray it's not a close one, our defense stands up, and the Chiefs get the painful stampede they deserve as the second-worst team in the NFL.

B: Fair enough. Score prediction?

15: Man, I didn't want to go there. Hoping that all atrociousness will not appear, I'll go 37-21. But that's with both fingers crossed and an eye on that D.

B: Wow. You're giving a)the Chiefs more points than they've scored in any game so far, b) the Chiefs more points than our Falcons fan gave them for the Atlanta game, and c) me a funny feeling below the belt at the thought of three touchdowns in one game. Nevertheless, thanks for joining us, DYC. It's been a pleasure having you, and here's to hoping the Chiefs give Cutler the Tom Brady treatment on Sunday. Go Chiefs!


The Lone Reader said...


Are you there sir? Banky, Banky come in, this is the TLR ... how copy, over?

What do the Chiefs need to do in order to fix their QB problems?

How did this happen?

Will Brody be the man?

Broncos 31
Chiefs 10



P.S. Just wanted to let you know the NHL preseason in underway. Who you gonna take with you first round fantasy pick?

bankmeister said...

Dear TLR:

When you comment on a post published on Saturday, it might behoove you to actually read the next posts published, like this one and this one. I know that belonging to three fantasy football leagues diminshes your scrolling and clicking time, but come on, dude.

dylanebrown said...

I used to belong to three fantasy leagues.

bankmeister said...

I'd just like to say that I really, really love Herm Edwards.

And I think that King Carl is the sexiest man alive.

The Lone Reader said...


Those britches are gettin' a little snug, sir.

You had the Chiefs at what, 12-4 last year? Then you tell me Brody is the QB of our future and that Mike Solari has some level of OC talent.

I'm just askin' for a little accountability, man. I appreciate the links to the articles and it's nice to see that you're coming back to earth with your Chiefs analysis.

Now get back to your MLB circle jerk and let me know when you're gonna do a fantasy hockey blog.

Until then I'll go back to my fantasy leagues, yes, AND the endless fuckin' hours of hauling an electrified backpack up and down rising rivers while living in a fucking hotel for months.

Blow me.

-- TLR

dylanebrown said...

Somebody is takin' a little Newfoundland style heat.
This just in....Chiefs def. Broncos 33-19.

bankmeister said...

TLR --

The circular jerks of baseball-related elation will in fact continue for the better part of another month.

Fantasy hockey blog? Put that electrified backpack to good use, and tackle that beast on your own, Skippy.

My last year's Chiefs pick was 11-5. When the Chiefs drafted Croyle, it was they that said he was the quarterback of the future. I only said, "give him a chance before you write him off." I would also note that his first name ends with "i-e."

I also urged you to give Solari a chance. As a KC OC, his squads won 13 games. While it's certain he was far from great, that's, at least to this point, way better than one. No, I'm not a Solari apologist. I debated with you, though, on his behalf, because Herm to me is the problem; not his coordinators.

You got months of hotel time to yourself. Sounds like you should be able to take care of your own twig and berries, boss.

Nice score prediction on yesterday's game...