We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: Opening Up the Playbook

The NFL standings of week one are etched. They're permanent, and if your team lost last week, it's time to figure out just what their upcoming opponent has in store. It's time to unleash the hidden cameras, send in the spies, and bug the training rooms. The trick, however, is to do any and all of this without actually cheating. At least that's what I recommend. One way to gain some sort of edge might be to use some form of traditional distraction. I have no idea what that might be, but I might have an inkling after the jump.

Tyran Richard



I suppose it wouldn't be half bad to research the tapes and the charts and go with good old gut instinct.



Often times, the hunch, countered with a shot of to the chest will knock your opponent back.



In other situations, try to catch them when they're least expecting it.

Rosie Jones



In all seriousness, though, football is a pretty simple game once you strip it down.



Practice doesn't make perfect, but doing something twice will certainly enhance your chances.

Carmen Ortega



There are ways to pick up on signals, and ways to do so legally.



For example, if your opponent lines up in a two-tight-end formation, their approach is clearly different than a four-wide set.



Good technique, like a proper stance, is a great habit to practice on every down.



If you are a wideout, though, you've got to have great hands. This means you, Dwayne Bowe.



It's always nice to have good comradery; a teammate that'll tuck your gear back in, and brush the dirt off of you instills confidence.

Gabrielle Tuit



And you've got to have intensity. Period.



Flexibility: also good.



Confidence in your own ability, trusting you for who you are, in your own skin is an invaluable feature.



Good leaders are of course priceless. It's important that they convey it, too, like Jack del Rio and Mike Nolan with the occasional suit.

Veronica Saint



Linemen? Stare that clown across from you in the eye.



Don't lose grasp for a moment, and stay focused.



Their poise, their stance, is just as important as yours, as it shows how you might be able to manipulate.



When ya' knock 'em down, keep starin'. Don't let 'em forget who just beat 'em.

Aden Bianco



Equal playing time for both sides of the ball is crucial to your team's energy.



Both offense and defense need to get on and off the field, sit, and catch a breather.



Not only are changes of possession good for rejuvenation, but they're a great opportunity for equipment adjusting.



Gotta make sure those pads are in place.

Jillian Beyor



Significant others, wives, and cheerleaders are great to have with you there on game day.



Small doses, however, is the key to not becoming distracted.



Come kickoff, a player's got to get his mind back on track.

Rocio Guirao Diaz



Chances are, getting an eye on the other club's playbook isn't happening.



In the event that you do get access to it, study every single feature.



This ain't some college exam. Given the opportunity you should know the thing inside and out,



front, back, left, right, and center.

Breanne Ashley



Believe you me when I say this shit is serious.



Better strap you hat on tight for Sunday, cowboy.



You hit the field, you might find yourself stunned.



Won't be no time to cradle up if things go bad.



Fatigue slams you into a wall, you best thank it.



You'll be reminded later of what tired really is.



And you'll look back on it and smile. Meantime, focus on your own playbook. This game passes by the Marvin Minnises. Study hard, eat right, and get rest. Sunday's always a week away. Or something.

That's it for today. Fasten those gorilla Masks and get your doses of daily Niners. Game day's a rough 'un.