Showing posts with label Vern's Cinnamon Rolls Are Awesome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vern's Cinnamon Rolls Are Awesome. Show all posts

Monday, March 10, 2008

Vernon Gholston is Using Steroids. Repeat.


Vernon Gholston ran a 4.67 at the combine with a 35.5 vertical leap. That's pretty good, yes? A couple of days ago, at Ohio State's Pro Day, he ran a 4.58 40 and jumped 42 inches in the air. 42 inches!

(For those of you who've read Peter Schrager's bit on Fox Sports and noticed a certain similarity of opinion, drop your clubs and douse the torches. Not done yet.)

That's even better. So much better, actually, that there's gotta be something else going on.

Other writers may dance around the subject, but we here at the HoG don't mince words. Or meat. Or pies. Or any combo thereof. We keep the talk straight as the whiskey. Thus, we logically arrive at steroids.

Or HGH. Or south Russian camel fertility potions. Lox with milk and butter and Stanozolol. Whatever it was, Vern did it. How the fuck else do you knock a full second off your 40 time in two weeks? And gain 7 inches on your high jump?

Stinks to high heaven, but hey--the guy was Big 10 Defensive Player of the Year, and if he drops to #12, you'd best believe I'd be hollering for the Broncos to snatch him and his box of chemicals. Not that it'll happen--this recent bit of obvious drug use has helped raise Gholston's stock to the position where a buncha doucheboxes think he might have to worry about being drafted into Parcells' Miami loser mafia.



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