Saturday Studmuffins: The Oft-Mustachioed Ed Podolak

Since the Iron Triangle here in this House of Georges, consists of three dudes woven from the cloth of scribe, we, despite our differences, have one thing in common: the theme. Now, if you look just below this post, you'll notice that Cecil has kicked off the day with an image of a former player's trading card. If you look farther than that, you'll see that I've linked to The Big Lead a handful of times this week, and so I decided to tap into both motifs, and discuss a guy, the news of whom comes to us from TBL, who has clearly, one of the handsomest cards ever printed. That's none other than former Kansas City Chief Ed Podolak. The first conversation us HoGsters ever had regarding Podolak, came in the newsroom of The Independent, the student newspaper of THE Fort Lewis College (Editor's Note: Don't bother with that link; their Web site is under construction.). A few unimportant details after the jump...

It was a non-descript day at The Indy, and Old No. 7, Cecil, and myself were -- shocker -- talking football. Seven asked me the name of that Chief tailback that also used to, along with myriad other roles, return kicks, and chalk up mad yardage most every time he played. It was none other than Ed Podolak. Now, the guy's name has come up a bunch lately. When the Chiefs lost to Miami at Arrowhead last month, his name easily came up a half dozen times in that that game was the second-coldest game ever played at Arrowhead, and the coldest in which a Dolphins team has ever participated. His name came up because, as is always the case with cold December games in KC, or in any Chiefs-Miami contest, the Christmas game of 1971 is mentioned.

Around Kansas City, you can hear tales from season-ticket holders of the olden days discuss how bizarre of a day that game was, how it jacked up Christmas dinners, and how it was, in essence, the first of many Chiefs losses to come that would result via the mishaps of idiot kickers. It's possible that many NFL franchises have equal histories, but the Chiefs have got to be among the tops. From Jan Stenerud's regulation-ending miss, to the few-but-costly misses of Nick Lowery, to Lin Elliot's three-miss day in the playoffs against the Colts in the 1995 season. Throw in the epic, end-of-season match between the Raiders and Chiefs on January 2, 2000, where "kickoff specialist" Jon Baker -- a guy the team brought in seemingly days prior -- put three kickoffs out of bounds to give the Raiders excellent field position, and ultimately the win, and don't forget last year's draft debacle in Justin Medlock, or even Herm's (one of many) oops in selecting Nick Novak over Connor Barth just this past season, the history of Chief kickers is rich with head-slappers. (Note: For the record, Baker is now on Billy Cundiff's staff, another kicker the Chiefs have brought in -- for reasons unknown to anyone -- for workouts on numerous occasions. Hell, they even signed the kid this past off-season. Also of note is that the staff also employs a guy who's last name appears to be pronounced "home-wrecker," and one of my favorite Chris Bermanisms, Michael "Come Esta" Husted.)

But I do indeed digress.

Podolak got multiple mentions, and even quick stat appearance, in last week's Colts-Chargers game, as San Diego midget Darren Sproles almost eclipsed that Christmas Day '71 record. Sproles put up 328 all-purpose yards in the contest, including two scores. Podolak, in his record-setting day some 38 years ago, "carried the ball 17 times for 85 yards, caught eight passes for 110 yards, returned three kickoffs for 153 yards, and ran back 2 punts for 2 yards" giving him a net of 350 on the day.

Since 1982, Podolak has been part of the Iowa Hawkeyes radio team, and when there was some Outback Bowl partying to be done this year, the Chiefs Hall-of-Famer wasn't shy about joining. And as TBL reports, this isn't per se, a first for the color commentator:

"In 1997, Iowa City police charged Podolak with public intoxication and interference with official acts after campus police found him sleeping in the grass on the University of Iowa Pentacrest. At the time of the arrest, a blood test found he had a blood-alcohol level of 0.23."

Wow. Point two three. That's pretty impressive, even to the Bon Scotts and the John Bonhams of the drinking world. Needless to say, it will be interesting to see if his services are retained. Regardless, that's one heck of a 'stache, a fashion-piece TBL says is most certainly



on the comeback trail. One could argue that the trend started right here in good ol' Kansas City. Sure, it's been six years. But you know, these things take time.
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Tradition Tuesday: At Long Last, The Season

The rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs (heralded by Bankmeister) and the Denver Broncos (championed by Cecil and Old No. 7). It may seem unfair that it's two versus one, but once KC gets that second Super Bowl win we'll even out the delegation.

Seven years ago we started The Tradition, in which Bronco fans travel out to the Truman Sports Complex with their team, and Chief-lovers return to the Rocky Mountains with theirs. We tailgate, we talk massive amounts of shit, our wives are occasionally assaulted by rival fans, and we almost always watch the visiting team lose. It's grand old time.

Here at the HoG, we're going to keep The Tradition going with Tradition Tuesday--a weekly state-of-the-rivalry address.

Well, here we are. Two days from the start of the 2007 NFL season -- five from Broncos/Bills at Ralph Wilson Stadium and Chiefs/Texans at Reliant Stadium -- and the House of Georges, in its near-six-month existence, has taken great delight in bringing you Tradition Tuesday.

With football season upon us, we'll be taking a slightly different approach, one that will keep a keen eye on playoff (playoffs?) baseball, the start of the NHL season, and a continued-swift delivery of your weekly collection of not-rough-on-the-eye females. Most importantly, though, we'll be bringing you exclusive coverage of Chief/Broncos football on a more-often-than-weekly basis, which is good news for everyone.

The talented Cecil has promised to deliver pre- and post-game reports of both clubs (though I'm sure Old No. 7 and I may, on occasion, chime in with our own unsolicited two bits), which, based on his preliminary offerings and summarized theses of professional contests, we can agree is a win/win for us and all involved. Old No. 7, being the gambling man/non-fan of Las Vegas that he is not, will cover spreads, over/unders, fantasy stuff, and all the other erotic-sounding mechanisms numbers-related tidbits in which interest is sought. He has also offered his ever-decreasing time to interview, on a weekly basis, a fan of the opposing team, a project in which I will participate as well. The HoG now has a Broncos/Bills interview and a Chiefs/Texans interview in the shop, as it were, needing only the final spit shines and chrome polishings to get these features on the street.

That said, there are two pressing Choncos-in-my-Briefs issues on which to report today. One: Over yonder, west of the Kansas border, Mike Shanahan and his Broncos inked a deal with Simeon Rice yesterday to help bolster the Bronco pass rush. That should add to the help they gave their squad -- the off-season acquisitions of Dre Bly and four D-line draft picks -- in a major way. In case you've been under a rock, the boys in predominantly orange also added to their offense by signing tailback Travis Henry and wideout Brandon Stokley. The Broncos and their 53-man roster are ready for some football.

Two: The Chiefs finally have all of their starters ready to practice together for the first time in the entire pre-season. Yikes, huh? Mmm-hmm. A good sign for the red and gold. A bit late, but a good sign. Huard, after nursing a sore calf will finally have blind-side protection from left tackle Damion McIntosh, who's been out with a bum knee. And of course, the inverted-vagina symbol and his piles of money are in the backfield. Word has it he'll split time with Michael Bennett until he hits top football shape. Other good news for Chiefs Nation involves their final molding of the roster, which includes the club's decision to cut AFL wide receiver star Bobby Sippio. What? Oh. Good news. Right. Sorry.

The cutting of Sippio was done to make room for third-string quarterback Tyler Thigpen, a rookie out of Coastal Carolina that the Minnesota Vikings were apparently trying to sign to their practice squad. Cut from Thigpen's place were Canada leftover Casey Printers and Jeff Terrell, the only two QBs that showed pre-season mobility and scored against the Saints, respectively. But it gets better. The Chiefs, one week removed from the opener, now have decided to bring in a kicker to compete with fifth-round draft pick Justin "Doink" Medlock. Among the candidates is the 43-year-old John Carney, who was cut by the Saints last year in favor of guys like Billy Cundiff. Sweet.

Yes indeed, folks. Good times. Nevertheless, we'll see if Herm's fixed his "terrible job" in the preparations department. We'll see if he's got his club ready for Houston. We'll see if we'll be offering the tag line "Houston, we have a problem" to Cecil's pre-game review. Or post-game. Or both.



Uh...huh-huh, like...go Bills and stuff.
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We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: The Buddy System

As we're all aware, Father Time is not always on our side. The dregs of everyday life frequently leaves us with too few precious moments on the 24-hour clock. Be it work and the spouse/kids, or travel, or hobbies, we often need a helping hand to assist us with our goals and desires. Though we aim to accomplish most tasks on our own, the ticking minute hand sometimes forces us to call upon a friend for assistance. Take hosting a get-together for example. Just when you think your mallards are all lined up, you burn the casserole, or forget to pick up that extra bottle of wine. Then there's last-minute tidy-up and decorations, too. Need a hand? The House of Georges shamefully quotes Dionne Warwick and company when we say "That's What Friends Are For."



Food Preparation



Bree Olson and Brooke Belle know when time is of the essence. They've got the tasks divied up; one's specialty is grinding -- the mortar and pestle suggests -- while the other sees to the fresh fruit display.


La Decor



Creating the ambience can be hard. Victoria Vannucci and Claudia Fernandez, however, are way beyond the old college try. They're perfectionists. Sometimes the longer-legged has to get the high stuff...



...while the shorter one must squat to reach items on the bottom shelf.



Either way, both tasks are hands-on experiences.


Attire



When it comes to social graces, Carli Banks and Lena help one another out like no other set of friends. Often times, a hostess can't see the hair tangles in the back of her head. And let's face it, no girl wants her pants to reveal that whisper-invoking wedgie. With these two, cooperation is the name of the game.




Rooting through those same old clothes of yours can be frustrating, though. When all else in terms of outfit creation fails, sometimes a loaner is necessary. But who has time to try everything on? Party hosts must improvise when determing how one sizes up with a friend.



When really in a pinch, sizing up articles by hand isn't necessarily a bad idea.


Guest Arrival



When the oft-horrifying first (pray they're not early!) ding of the doorbell dongs in your foyer, it's important to let your guests know the air of the house is stress-free. Kayleigh Pearson and Tanya Robinson demonstrate the cool, calm and collected look every soiree attendee wants to see when stepping inside.


Last-Minute Check



In the whirl and rush of tasting hors d'oeuvres, sipping a pre-party cocktail, and maybe sucking down a stress-busting cigarette, one thing is all-too-often forgotten: fresh breath. Not unlike their outfit ensemblage, Miss Banks and company tie strings around their fingers to remind one another for one last breath check. Thus, the Binaca in the pantry.


Extravaganza Documentation



A good party's always a bust without photographs from which to remember it. Melissa Jacobs and friend are always camera-ready, posing for those Kodak moments. Make sure you've got a roll or two handy for those sacred moments worth capturing.



Every party's certain to have a guest or two that might help themselves to a few too many adult beverages. No party photo album is complete without the sleepy-eyed guests that almost crash before heading out, like Miss Marsh and Lucy Pinder.


The Cleanup



Sure. The time of night when the shindig tapers, guests depart and the monster of post-party cleanup lurks is always a drag. Good friends, like Luana Lani's companion, will always stick around and help out with the mess, even if it means getting a little dirty. Or wet. Or both.


Tuckered, But Successful



When the last dishes are dried, all the garbage is out and the leftovers stowed in TupperWare, it's time to call it a night. Tailor James and Nadine Glenn are no exceptions. After a long evening of entertaining, they're ready to hit the sack.



And if you're turning in with a partner, look out. Nothing says "We were a hit" like a nightcap in the sleeping chambers. Holler!

(Photos courtesy of Gorilla Mask and The Daily Niner)
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We Are Hot Chicks: Learning The Lesson Can Be Hard

As reported in yesterday's Tradition Tuesday post, the Broncos (along with the rest of the dadburned NFL) report to training camp this week. On the sweltering fields of Dove Valley will be dozens of big fat sweaty dudes looking for a j.o.b. Some will be highly paid returning starters going through the motions, while others will be castoffs from other teams trying to catch on in Denver.

Finally, we'll have the rookies, fresh-faced lads just out of college. Most of them have been the best player on whatever team they graced, but now they're chucked into a furnace of no-compromise scrutiny and criticism.

When we attend games at Invesco this fall, we'll watch these rooks during the game, and when they're taking a break we'll watch some other rookies strut their stuff--the newest Denver Broncos cheerleaders. Following some truly stunning developments at this year's auditions, the squad is strapped with lots of new talent. Can they succeed? Let's find out...

Our first newcomer is Kaoruko Horiike, who's like from Asia or something. I like Chinese food as much as the next guy, but Ms. Horiike is all forehead and no rack. I compare her to the undrafted free agent kicker from Virginia Tech, Brandon Pace. If the cheerleaders had the same training camp as the football players, Horiike would be on the same bus out of camp as Brandon.

Next up is Mary Johnston. Now I'm not going to turn this into a Gregg Easterbrook Cheerleader of the Week disaster, where I overanalyze the biographical information as a justification for ogling Mary Johnston's tits. Mary Johnston chose to try out for this team, just as Roderick Rogers chose to declare for the NFL Draft. So if I can point out that Roderick Rogers is a step slow to play safety in the League, I can also point out that Mary Johnston is cursed with excessive gums and could use a little artificial augmentation.

Sara Oliver is a married fifth-grade teacher. For a cheerleader, that's a bit abnormal, and some less enlightened than myself might call it "baggage." Bronco rookie Marcus Thomas brings his own baggage to the season, what with the third-degree marijuana habit and dismissal from the LSU football team. But I have high hopes for both Sara and Marcus--even though they're both a bit heavy, I can see both making big-time contributions this season.

Another fresh face is Jamie Dukehart-Conti. She says she's from Arvada, but that's a blatant lie--the hairdo and stance scream Texas. And just like second-round pick Tim Crowder, a defensive tackle from UT, I'm predisposed to dislike her for her Longhorn roots but willing to give her a chance if she can perform in the clutch.

Look, all of these broads look fantastic from the 500 level. And just like a missed blocking assignment from ex-CU center Mark Fenton may go unnoticed by the layman, the considerable flaws evident on the visage of Katie Layman may slip by more desperate men. Fenton is not strong enough to hang in the AFC West, and Layman has the nose of a heavyweight boxer. Yikes.

Growing up, we all had a friend who's mom was hot. Nicole Moore could be your buddy's hot mom, if your buddy's house had wheels and a meth lab in the kitchen. I'm starting to think that this exercise of comparing the rookie cheerleaders to the rookie players is a huge jinx on the Broncos.

Whoa-ho, doctor! Was I ever wrong. Saving the rookie class is Rebecca Bolan, a super-cutie straight out of Aurora. I'll pair her up with Ryan Harris, my man-crush offensive tackle the Broncos took in the fourth round out of Notre Dame. In Rebecca's bio she says she "loves to tickle he little nephew." That's funny, because I'm tickling mine as well.

Next in line is Shelby Britton, who looks like she was selected because someone lost a bet. Jesus. She says her favorite book is Pride & Prejudice, because P&P is always the book that former fat girls can relate to. I'll make the hasty pairing of Shelby and receiver Marquay McDaniel (sorry Marquay, I'm sure you're a nice guy) and let's just move on.

The unquestioned first-round pick of this class, the Jarvis Moss if you will, is Jessie Greenberg. Ms. Greenberg is a diamond dealer during the week, and that sentence is not at all Jewish. She sports an awesome set of cans, or at least I assume if you unstrapped that unwieldy bodice you'd get a beautiful nipple in the eye. I'll bet you a million sheqels that Jesse's a raging bitch, but I couldn't care less. If she'll just mesmerize me with her Hebrew goddessness all season, and Jarvis Moss can collect ten sacks, I'll love 'em both unconditionally. Except for the above conditions, of course.

Bringing up the caboose of this project is Valerie Scott. Although it's nice to add a little chocolate for dessert, Ms. Scott is a little frail for my tastes. Not to mention bat shit crazy. When asked which two people she'd like to have dinner with, she answered (noted cross-dresser) Tyler Perry and (Federal Reserve chairman) Ben Bernanke. That is without a doubt the shittiest dinner table I could ever imagine. Valerie, meet Selvin Young, the rookie RB out of the University of Texas. You two have fun. Read more