Thursday, September 10, 2009

Baseball in the Daytime: Get Your Gehrig Here

All of a sudden, the baseball-in-the-daytime slates are just jumping with action. Before you know it, unprofessional sports bloggers will have put together consecutive days with nothing else written about besides day baseball....chirp....chirp....

But enough about that. Let's forget all that's going on in baseball and talk about one lone douche nozzle in his one lone team uniform. I'll say this: I'm impressed that said guy tallied three hits yesterevening and went ahead and tied the durn thing. That way, after his next hit, the story will go away.

Your day baseball three-piece, a click away.

Minnesota @ Toronto, 11:35 Central: The right-handed Scott Baker takes the hill for the Twinkies today at the Rogers Centre. He looks to guide Minnesota to that familiar September spot known as second place in the A.L. Central. He'll also be seeking win number 14 on the season. Brett Cecil represents the home team today. He's gone 1-2 in his last three starts with a 10-plus E.R.A. His Blue Jays are good and buried in the East, a solid 28 games behind the Yankees. That, of course, is a stat no one cares about since everyone's too busy spanking it to Derek Jeter and Lou Gehrig. But this baseball game, which is actually already a few pitches underway, can be heard on XM 176.

Detroit @ Kansas City, 1:10: Don't look now Minnesota, but the Kansas City Royals are doing what they frequently tend to in September: help you out. The Royals have taken two of the first games against division-leading Detroit. In the heated desperation of avoiding 100 losses, KC has put together a little three-game win streak that started with their first win of the season (1-9) against the Angels. It's looking like Gil Meche and Brian Bannister might, and probably should, get shut down for the season, and so they seek starting help elsewhere, like Robinson Tejeda -- consecutive impressive starts with five IsP, six Ks, two BBs, and no hits on Friday; six IsP, eight Ks, two BBs, and one run last night -- and Lenny DiNardo, who gets the start today, having gone 10-5 with a 3.32 in AAA Omaha. His counterpart will be Jarrod Washburn of the Tigers, who seeks win number 10, and a chance to take one in the series. Also noteworthy: Billy Butler, who has four three-double games this season, now has 45 two-basers so far, joining the ranks of very few to tally that many at age 23 or younger. The list includes Lou Gehrig. (Editor's Note: B-more Oriole Brian Roberts joined even eliter company last night, become only the fourth player in history to have at least 50 doubles in three different campaigns. Lou Gehrig hit 52 of 'em in 1927.) DirecTV invites you aboard the Royals-Tigers express for a watch on the ol' 721. XM has it on 177.

Cincinnati @ Colorado, 2:10: A pair of under-.500 righties bring up the day-baseball caboose out at Coors Field. Jose Contreras gets the nod for the home team. Kip Wells goes for the Reds. These pitchers are noteworthy for two reasons: Contreras is possibly uglier than Vicente Padilla; Wells is a living example of what not to name your kid. What's more important, though, is that the Rockies are three games back of the Dodgers, so let's keep rootin' for these guys. And just for the record, SethfuckingSmith is hitting .317, slugging .566, second-best and best on the team, respectively. Eighty years ago, Lou Gehrig hit an even .300, slugged .584 on the season. In case you were wondering. Two-thirteen and 722 are your DirecTV notches. Catch the audio on XM 183.

That's your light-free three-piece suit of baseball. Enjoy.