Jesus Effing Christ

Another day, another round of ludicrous stories about what's fast becoming the most comically disastrous franchise in the NFL. These are your Denver Broncos, courtesy of ESPN's Bill Williamson.

Pat Bowlen says he's old and can't remember if he had conversations with Bus Cook. It's becoming a pretty competitive race for who's the least intelligent person in this whole drama: Bowlen, Bus, Jay Cutler, Josh McDaniels, Cutler's dad, Williamson, or anyone who strongly takes the side of one of these jackholes.

At least Bronco fans can count on the new blood, the free agent class, right? Well, one possible starting running back is wrapped up in a drug trial. Let's just hope he's impregnated fewer than a dozen women. Any reason we can't find out about these things before handing out eight-figure contracts?

My favorite part about Buckhalter's alleged weed peddler is that he was popped with several hundred vials of dope. I've, um, been around the business end of a Michael Phelps respirator once or twice, and I may have even witnessed a sale of cannabis (for medical purposes only). I've never seen grass in a vial. This drug dealer must be a vial vile criminal indeed.