Sunday, March 1, 2009


So it appears, with evidence larding the interstubtubes, that the Broncos' new pair of Big Young Brains in Charge actively tried to trade Jay Cutler for Matt Cassel.

Let's get something straight first: up until about 24 hours ago, I was a big fan of what Mickey D and Colonel Xanders were putting out there. I loved the Dawkins signing. Sure, he may have lost a step, but a guy who brings it the way he does can be an invaluable part of re-shaping this defense, and he forces fumbles. Led the Eagles in that category only last year.

Renaldo Hill is a solid young player, (a healthy) Correll Buckhalter can be a cog in short yardage situations, the long snapper is slightly larger than our old one, and that's fine because I think we needed to get bigger across the board. He also poses for photos with chicks in bars, which is solid in many important ways. Andra Davis is a good tackler. Colorado State grad and Beloved Ram Football Hero David Anderson, assuming the Texans don't match the offer sheet, can morph into another Brandon Stokely. And they did it all without overspending.

But then...

Matt Cassel may be a good NFL quarterback. He had a good year in '08, even though he took a ton of sacks playing behind a pretty fine pass-blocking line and was throwing to some of the best wideouts in the league (although to be fair, so was #6).

But man, I just don't buy it. I don't know why. I seriously don't think this guy is a superstar in the making or anything the way people have set him up to be, and while his stats are pretty similar--and in some cases, well below--Cutler's, his arm and overall athleticism aren't even in the same postal code.

So for a career backup who had basically one excellent half-season in the NFL, would you give up a guy who, though he's definitely something of a diva, is widely considered to be one of the best young QBs in the league already? Of course you wouldn't. Even you aren't that fucking stupid.

But the Boy Geniuses didn't just consider it, they worked to make it happen. And the worst part? They failed.

That's right. It would have been better for the Denver Broncos if this asinine, proposed three-way trade had actually happened. Because now, you've got a stampy Cutler actively agitating to be let go, no Cassel and no better option. Way to cause a huge-ass problem by not making a smaller mistake, you two.

It just boggles. What the fuck? What could they possibly have been thinking? What's the plan, here? Piss off your temperamental young star in effort to toughen him up, as some are suggesting? That's nonsensical. Even if they were only entertaining offers and not initiating them, as Adam Schefter said yesterday, how can they not be smarter than that?

Or--and this could be the one thing that ends up excusing this--maybe they know something that we don't.

A little story. Now that I've been outed as an official (former) member of the news media, and now that the outlet for which I had been employed is a mere memory, I can share a bit of gossip from my ex-boss.

Said ex-boss knew a lot of people around town. He'd been at the Rocky, and in Denver, off and on since the early '80s. One of his acquaintances was former Bronco kicker Rich Karlis, who'd become a success in business following his barefooted career. His job with Qwest brought him into contact with Cutler via Cutler's television show--and ol' Rich said that Jay the Diabetic couldn't take the sound stage without pounding red wine. And that he ditched the final episode of the season, leaving Channel 4 (I think it was) in the lurch.

He was replaced by Brandon Marshall, who Karlis said was a gem of a dude, but I think the gist was that Karlis thought he was a complete head case.

It's third-hand info from a guy who missed wide right a lot, but if it's true it hints at some pretty serious problems with ol' Jay. Type 1 diabetics who drink more than a very small, measured amount can have massive health problems--the House has a very close friend whose ex was a diabetic alky, and that shit can wreak havok on your system.

Which begs the larger question: is The Savior a drunk?

I'm not throwing stones here, Lord knows. I drink. Frequently, too frequently, to excess, and often alone in a closet, crying (that last part isn't true).

But I'm not diabetic. I'm also not the quarterback of the Denver Broncos, a man burdened with the hopes and dreams of football nerds like myself, a man who makes millions of fucking dollars a year to not do stupid shit. And I recently got a haircut.

We'll see how this all pans out. But right now, this is the biggest mistake of the early run of our own Mile High Version of "The Patriot Way."