Sunday, December 21, 2008

Two Out Of Three Is Actually Really Bad

Well, that was another fun-filled day of football. And by fun-filled I mean reminiscent of the time I washed my asshole out with soap and liquid hot magma.

The Broncos lost to a pretty damn lousy Buffalo club, which makes four losses in the last five home games--the lone exception being The Tradition. Meanwhile, out amidst the methlabs and dead babies of Florida's Gulf Coast, San Diego went ahead and took Tampa to the woodshed. So in my three-legged grand prediction of collapse, two of the three necessary elements have fallen into alignment. All that is left to complete this epic tragedy is a simple loss to the Chargers in Southern California next Sunday.

At least CBS confirmed my worst fears--until this point, no team has held a three-game division lead with three weeks to play and then failed to make the playoffs. In the entire history of professional football. So this choke job could come with a little history, which is always nice.

I'm sure Banky has just rubbed his dick sore with excitement over these happenings, and he doesn't even remember what transpired at Arrowhead today (yet another blown lead in front of a crowd of hundreds). But no matter. Were the tables turned, I'd be giddy with anticipation myself. It's not often you get to see a team implode in a manner that no one has ever seen before.

I did like how, for the second consecutive week, Jay Cutler threw a dozen interceptions and the opposing team was only able to corral two of them.

Once the whisky wears off and I put down the revolver, I'm sure you'll receive more rational analysis of the AFC West. Hoo boy, I'll bet you can't wait.


bankmeister said...

Mmm...yes, in the categories of epic and collapse, I've never collapsed with such epicity in all my days. I actually don't think I've ever rooted so gallantly for a Buffaloed squad. Ever.

I was simply flabbergasted that the home team couldn't pull that one off. And by "flabbergasted," I do in fact mean rubbed raw with sheer, unadulterated exuberance.

I've never longed for next Sunday to get hear faster where the Chiefs were not involved, and know when I say that when it's time to tune in, I'll be the guy cheering "Go Broncos" on heretofore undocumented levels of seriousness.

Dou-che, Marmalard. Dou-che.

Dylan said...

Is that haggisloaf?