Wednesday, August 1, 2007

We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: Home Improvement

Like Old No. 7 mentioned earlier today, we are in fact shifting gears, re-vamping if you will, at the House of Georges. As our beloved Denver Broncos and Kansas City Chiefs plow through their respective first weeks of training camp, we'll be shifting our focus toward football, primarily the best Choncos in my Briefs coverage these here CyberNets have to offer. That said, we certainly shan't shy away from covering all of the other sports in the world. And clearly, by "all of the other sports in the world," I mean baseball and woman-ogling contests. Thus, since the HoG's remodeling its home, so to speak, we offer you today, the finests and brightest tips with which you might refurbish yours. Let's have at it.




Sheena Lee





Often times, folks of the married variety like to spruce up the old bedroom. It is, after all, the nook of the homestead in which husbands and wives spend the most time together, and, on occasion, procreate. This special section of the home should therefore, be sleek and desirable. In addition to being the seductive mistress mentioned in Aerosmith's classic track "Walk This Way," (Editor's Note: Add that to the list of made-up things on the HoG.) Sheena Lee is the comforter expert. Whether it's down or fur, she's the gal you ought to call.


Vanessa Raia



Miss Raia is the sitting room expert. Need a divan? A love seat? She'll hook you up. Swear.


Megan Hauserman



The lovely Miss Hauserman holds PhDs in tilework and formica. If you've a hankering to put her on top of your shiny flat surfaces in your bathroom, she's the lady to call. Honest.


Misha Elmer



Believe you me when I tell you that Misha Elmer is a foyer fanatic. If your home's entryway just doesn't have the right welcome rug, Miss Elmer's got the perfect one, and she won't be shy about showing it to you.


Nicole Davis



It's important to remember that the interior musn't be your only area of focus when you're looking to spruce up the cabin. The great outdoors need your attention as well. That's where Miss Davis comes in. She's an expert in the art of landscape, and will gladly show you how to smooth out the hills and trim the hedge.


Carlotta Champagne



Funny man Chris Rock has told us all about the rules of the Champagne Room, but Miss Champagne wrote the rule book on office renovation. True story.


Danielle Carr



Every cozy home needs a nice study/sitting room. Where else can you pore over your reading material in private with some coffee and a pair of hot cross buns?


Danielle Gamba



Some tackle the guest room first, so's to make sure the quarters for overnight visitors are ready and waiting. Miss Gamba specializes in extra-room modification, and she suggests going with white; the purity suggests inviting and friendly.


Divini Rae



The more active homeowner takes guest accomodations to another level. While relaxing quarters for friends and family are important, Miss Rae emphasizes that the importance of exercise is equally crucial. Her hobby? Tennis. Have her over to oversee the installation of your own home court. Advantage: you.


Giuliana Marino



She's no relation to the third-best quarterback to ever play the game (Note: For those of you that aren't aware, the former Miami Dolphins slinger is a close third to Joe Montana and Johnny Unitas.), Miss Marino knows garages like Bo knew football. If you can't quite handle your tools, or your Shop Vac's lacking suction, she's the gal to phone.


Regina Deutinger





Once the house is all finished and restored, you'll probably be sick of it. The best way to enjoy something is to get away from it. I suggest a family trip to the fair where Miss Deutinger can escort you and your loved ones. Everyone knows that German blondes know their carnival cotton candy, and this lovely lady is the farthest thing from unhirable a letdown.

3 comments:

Commish CH said...

Giuliana Marino!? Is she in an office, as a cleaning person? If so, please forward the number, I'll fly her in from ANYWHERE to wax, clean, buff.

Nathan said...

Bank,

Fine job once again. I think it's time to become a homeowner.

KG to Boston? Holyshit, man.

Cheers,

TLR

bankmeister said...

Holy shit is right. I didn't know anybody cared.